


What Are You Running From?

by polasteroids



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (Not Louis), Alpha Harry Styles, Alpha Liam Payne, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Distrust, F/F, F/M, Illegal Activities, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Like the Slowest Burn of All Slow Burns, Louis Don’t Need No Alpha, M/M, Military Harry Styles, Mpreg, Omega Louis, Omega Niall, Omega Zayn Malik, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Harry Styles, Running Away, Sexism, Slow Burn, Triggers, badass louis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2019-08-23 21:51:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 60,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16627082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polasteroids/pseuds/polasteroids
Summary: Louis is a smart, self-sufficient omega that’s quick on his feet and running from his past. When a new alpha finds his way into his life, he is unsure if he can trust him or if trusting him would be a horrible mistake. One thing he does know though, is that as secrets, lies and people of the past work their way into the complicated intertwining of Louis and Harry, it is up to them to either face their fates heads held high or crumble beneath them.





	1. The Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y’all. The prologue ends at - - - and the time jump happens at ...  
> Phia

Days are cyclical. There is morning and the early rays of dawn, and there is the high sun of the afternoon, and there is the humbling, peace-bringing dimming light at dusk. And after dusk there is morning once again.

Despite what you may wish for there to be or not to be, there always will be the sun rising in the morning and setting at night. It is as inevitable as death, as unconquerable as the compulsion to find love. It is the foundation of life.

Life was brought to us by the Great Warrior, who was great enough to be the creator but self-aware enough to comprehend that he could not create life on his own. And so he brought forth the elements from their places within the world to help him.

Earth.

Air.

Water.

In the beginning, there was rock. Hard, solid rock that had been sturdy and cocky in its strength for its entire being. But cockiness sires arrogance, and when the Great Warrior challenged its ability to withstand an outside force of possibly equal strength, the rock did not believe he would lose. But the Great Warrior had far, far more strength than the rock, and when the rock fell to pieces, left in its place was earth.

In the beginning there were storm clouds. Black, pelting storm clouds that had rained without fail or compromise for more time than the Great Warrior himself could comprehend. But refusal to compromise sires stubbornness, and when the Great Warrior asked the storm clouds to stop raining so he could draw forth air from the clear skies, the storm clouds refused. But the Great Warrior stopped them anyway, and when the storm clouds dissipated, all that was left in their place was air.

In the beginning there was ice. Freezing, frostbite-worthy ice that was not cocky nor intransigent, but was instead lazy, because it was in the ice’s nature to do nothing. The rock worked to support the rest of the world, to act as a base for everything else to grow upon, and the storm clouds pelted rain with passionate fervor. The ice served no purpose. And so when the Great Warrior came down to bring out the water from the ice to replace it, the ice did not know how to stand its ground, did not know how to prove its worth- because it had none. And so some of the ice cried when it was cleared away, and the salty tears still remain in some the water today.

In the beginning there was rock. On top of the rock was ice, and on top of the ice were storm clouds. Then the rock became earth, and the ice became water, and the storm clouds became air. Earth was the Mother of Security and Safety, water was the Mother of Rebirth and New Beginnings, and Air was the Mother of Communication and Empathy.

And with the three elements, the three Mothers, the Great Warrior created life. Life was beautiful, and exciting, and extremely, extremely wrong. The three Mothers knew there was a problem, for they had been sired of imperfection, and the Great Warrior sensed their unrest. He called the elements to him, and they told him of the faults within the life they had created.

The life they’d made was without fault.

For every single life, there was another life that was destined to be partnered with theirs when they’d been created. The Great Warrior and the elements had wished for these lives to be dependent in such a way that they felt each other in every step they took, could understand each other’s emotions, could speak to each other openly, could find something new in each other, and would feel safe with this other life. They wanted their souls to be intertwined, and so they called them soulmates.

But this was all there was within these lives. There was endless security and safety, endless rebirth and new beginnings, endless communication and empathy.

There were no faults, and that was the fault.

Because they felt all of these things constantly, with no break, with no rest, eventually the feelings for these things began to dull. And at some point, they would be lost entirely.

So that was when the Mothers and the Great Warrior created fire.

Fire was rage. Fire was jealousy. Fire was claim. Fire was territory. Fire was unforgiving. Fire was sadness. Fire was regret.

Fire was the balance within the world. The Mother of Balance and Equality.

And so there was life. Life of safety and fear, new beginnings and death, communication and self preservation. Life in which emotions and feelings did not dull over time, for they did not always have the same ones forced upon them.

And life went on. Millenia after millenia, century after century, day after day, life continued. And through all the hundreds of millions of minutes the Great Warrior watched the life he created with the elements unfold before him did he become more dissatisfied. Soulmates were destined to eternity by fate, but fate was not enough. The Great Warrior could see that the soulmates were still individuals, not two pieces of the same puzzle as he had intended them to be. He had to fix it, and so he called upon the four elements to assist him in creating an entirely new form of life.

The Great Warrior cleared the world of all life, keeping only the Mothers present on its surface. The Great Warrior was humble, capable of greatness and admittent of his own shortcomings. He trusted that he would learn from his mistakes, and he would not let himself be rash with the decisions he had to make about this new life.

And so he thought. For hundreds of thousands of years he thought, trying to come up with a way of life in which soulmates would be the two pieces of the same puzzle they were supposed to be. And one night, in his sleep, it came to him.

In a dream, wolves appeared in front of him. It was clear they were all part of the same pack, but there were pairings- every wolf had a partner. The Great Warrior did not understand what these pairings were, confused as to why large wolves were matched with a smaller, more delicate one. He watched in respect of what he could not comprehend, but when he witnessed a large black wolf bite a small white one on the neck he became angered, certain that this black wolf had just killed the white one. But he was mistaken. The white wolf climbed from the ground where it had laid and leaned on the large black wolf, before it too bit the throat of its companion.

It was then that a word flowed through the Great Warrior’s mind, and that word was mate.

  
This was what the Great Warrior had been waiting for all those years of thinking. He’d been waiting for this epiphany that life did not need soulmates- life just needed mates.

Even through that dream could the Great Warrior see the differences between his soulmates and the wolves’ mates.

Mates were everything the soulmates were supposed to be or more so. When the wolves bit one another, pieces of their souls were bonded together; their souls were not merely intertwined, they became an actual part of one another. Soulmates and mates alike both felt the elements within in each other, but mates felt it to such a degree that it was inescapable. Soulmates could ignore these feelings from the elements, but it was as much a part of mates as the bonding of souls was.

And so the Great Warrior called upon the elements to help him create these mates.

The Great Warrior had many dreams about the wolves after his first, and with each dream did he understand more about mates.

Within a pack of wolves, the Great Warrior came to understand, there were two types of wolves. There were alphas, and there were omegas. The large black wolf he’d seen in his first dream was an alpha. As he came to understand it, alphas were protectors, providers and patriarchs. The small white wolf he’d seen in his first dream was an omega. They were carers, cautionaries, and childbearers.

The Great Warrior feared that if he only translated mates into the version of life he’d had before and did not include the wolf factors of alphas and omegas, he would lose some of what made mates mates. But he did not want a life of only wolves. The Mothers contemplated then, taking the task upon themselves to find a solution. It was even more millenia later that they found one.

The original structure of life had been strange creatures the Great Warrior had called humans each having another human soulmate. The humans had two ‘genders,’ what the Great Warrior had called male and female. The soulmates had failed spectacularly, but the humans had not been at fault. For this reason, the elements proposed that the humans were kept while the soulmates discarded, and that the concept of mates and the alpha/omega dynamic were translated into the humans.

The Great Warrior accepted this idea, and the new way of life was born.

The humans kept their genders but were now either alphas or omegas, drawn from the elements, wolves, and the Great Warrior himself. They bonded their souls through bites, every alpha and omega retaining wolf instincts as they kept their ability to be a wolf. It was a sacred connection between a human and their wolf- just as sacred as the bonding between two souls- and transforming to their wolf was equally revered. At the start of every new year all the humans would turn to their wolf forms and thank the elements and the Great Warrior for everything that had been provided to them, and they assured the Mothers and the Great Warrior that what they’d been blessed with would not be taken for granted.

\- - -

I knew it was coming, but I just hadn’t anticipated it coming  _now_. I had felt the presence of someone around me yet always out of sight for days, had been able to just barely detect a foreign scent at the oddest of times, and while it was not anticipated, it was also not shocking when I found myself suddenly pressed up against my door when I’d been unlocking my car- the one I’d jacked from an unsuspecting omega my first day in this godforsaken town. 

I hit the metal with an audible thump, my sternum throbbing from the impact. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to understand that this ballsy alpha was the same one I’d picked up in the past days; his scent was one I could recognize, but not one I could place any name or person to.

He deeply inhaled, pressed his nose into my neck right at the scent gland, and I rolled my eyes at him. I mean, I can understand a terrible fucking alpha getting a little caught up with his target, but he was leaving himself blatantly vulnerable here. And I was not one to turn down an offered advantage. 

The car keys in my hand were small, but conveniently sharp; apparently the alpha of the omega I’d nicked the keys from had sharpened the metal down until it worked both in his mate’s car and as a weapon. How wonderful for me.

The alpha currently accosting me leant further over my body, trying harder to trap me more sufficiently between him and the car, tilting his head over my shoulder in the process. I put the key between two fingers and thrusted my hand backwards over my shoulder.

I didn’t miss.

He recoiled from me, staggering back a few steps, clutching his face with a low sound of pain. I spun around to face him as soon as I could, crouching defensively, keys at the ready.

He was shaking, blood leaking between the fingers that covered his right eye. He looked finished, drained, _angry_. But when he dropped his hands, cocked his head to the side, bared his teeth, he reinforced what I’d been assuming. He wasn’t here to play. Any alpha that happened to take  advantage of an omega getting into their car in a grocery store parking lot wouldn’t see me as worth it; after my little stabbing, they would’ve backed off.

This alpha didn’t. This alpha matched my crouching, let a growl begin in his chest, let his chest puff out. He wasn't relenting, wasn’t letting his common sense tell him I wasn’t worth it. This alpha was sent by James to collect me. 

“Come on,” I gestured him forward with my free hand, gaze testing, “get on with it already.” We both knew why we were here, we both knew only one of us was walking away from this conscious. 

It was going to be me. 

He growled, something that he knew would make any other omega cower, but neither of us were surprised when I didn’t. Clearly James had briefed him on me.

I crouched forward in my position, ready and heavily dependent upon my litheness and experience for getting away from situations like these. I’d been in too many to count. I gauged the alpha in front of me, watching his legs, his arms, his neck and face. 

His foot twitched.

As I prepared for his charge forward, a voice snapped us both out of our instinctive bubbles. My inner omega didn’t relax, and neither did my self-preserving stance.

A man came into my peripheral vision as he spoke, but my gaze never dropped to him. I watched James’s alpha, and James’s alpha watched me.

“Get out of here before I beat you into the pavement,” the other alpha said. I wanted to snort, tell him to leave us be. This was going to end one way or another whether this new alpha intervened or not. James’s alpha was the one who waved him off, though. 

“Mind your business, man. Let me handle what’s mine to handle.” I cringed at his choice of words, he was essentially right. We needed to finish this so I could start running again. 

I finally glanced at this new alpha. He was calm, but determined. “Leave him alone- I will not ask again.” 

I turned my gaze back to the true alpha at hand, and I watched as his foot twitched forward again. Hey, I was all for blatantly ignoring this new guy.

But this new guy saw it too. New Guy charged at him before I could even look his way, and I blinked in shock. No one ever defended omegas like this. People minded their own business every time- what was _with_ this guy?

There was a struggle, a short lived one that ended with the new alpha tossing James’s on his ass a few feet further away from me than he’d been before. I felt out of my depth; this sort of thing- someone else intervening- had never happened before. I didn’t really know what to expect.

It was a terse few seconds before he got up, glared, and began to walk away. I watched his back as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He was calling James. 

“Fuck,” I muttered. James had officially found me again. The next few weeks would mean forging another new identity, scouring low-attention jobs for a new source of income, tensely finding a feel for new surroundings. Great. I was _thrilled;_ I’d actually liked Edinburgh.

For the first time, I really looked at this new alpha.

He was taller and more physically fit than the James’ alpha had been- probably was the reason James’s alpha had relented after their fight. His curly brown hair that reached his shoulders most definitely kept him well warm when in his wolf form and his green eyes were one of those terrible shades that would put most omegas into a near trance. I didn’t much care for them. 

He had typical attributes of an alpha- prominent nose, strong jaw and chin, domineering stature, broad shoulders, the whole nine. He was attractive, I’d give him that, but I’d seen a million just like him and I’d see a million more before my time was up. And, what was more, he’d now royally fucked up my chance to get rid of that alpha for good because of his own stupid instincts getting in the way.

I growled low in my throat when he took a step closer.

“Whoa,” he said, and after not paying as much attention to his voice as I could have before, his accent caught me off guard. It was barely there at all, but I caught it. Northern, it was, probably Siberian or Scandinavian, but I knew all of these assumptions were educated guessed at best. 

“Are you alright?”

I weeded through his words once more. The hard ‘t’ sound he made gave me a stronger inkling towards Scandinavian, which was discouraging. Scandinavian wolves had a very difficult time not letting their instincts rule them and were notoriously regionally confined, which made me speculative towards why a culturally boundarized wolf such as a Scandinavian one would be in British Territory.

I stared at him a moment more, not answering, and a thought came to me rather suddenly.

Could this alpha be another one of James’s collectors? Maybe this was a new ploy they hadn’t tried before- one alpha trails me for days, subtly making sure their presence is known, and when he goes in to strike another alpha “comes to my rescue,” making me unsuspecting trusting of the new one.

I dug my keys into the palm of my hand with how hard I clutched them, and my canines dropped just the slightest, though not noticeably I didn’t think.

“I‘m fine,” I spat, “And I don’t need your help- I certainly didn’t with that idiot.” His eyes widened in surprise.

I was analyzing his every move, and if he was one of James’s trying to carry out the ploy I suspected he was, I knew he’d be a good actor.

His reaction fit that of a typical Scandinavian wolf almost too perfectly; it was in the basic standards of Scandinavian wolves to be respectful and serving to your fellow wolf. Omegas weren’t mistreated daily in Scandinavia, as their morals were so highly upkept. However, omegas also weren’t generally seen as being able to adequately take care of themselves either, which only fed into alpha Scandinavians being dominated by their most basic instincts of protection.

“You looked as though you needed assistance, omega,” he said, and it was nearly subconscious in the way that he rose to his full height in the face of conflict, even with me. I narrowly stopped myself from growling at him again. Whenever someone called me by my sex it was never meant other than condescendingly. While it didn’t especially seem as though he’d used it in that sense, it was hard for me to take it another other way.

“I’m not the one that was bleeding, am I?” I raised a brow, still crouched down. “If I’m not confused, I do believe it was that other alpha who _I’d_ injured, and who wasn’t even backing me into my car! I perfectly able to get myself out of that situation on my own.” I was careful not to mention anything about thay alpha being sent to find me, painfully aware that any drop of James’ name could alert this alpha that I- if I was correct- knew about his scheme.

I was expecting him to get angry, but he just looked regretful. “I am sorry, omega,” he spoke softly, and he bowed his head to me. I was so shocked that I stood, coming out of my defensive position. The small rumbling in my chest ceased.

Alphas are creatures of dominance. Showing such vulnerability to another wolf- an omega, no less, a being generally seen as inferior and stereotypically submissive, was nearly unheard of in British Territory. That type of action came from a more refined species- Scandinavian wolves. But if he was doing the type of work James solicited alphas for, he most likely wouldn’t be able to shut down his ego easily to act like that towards an omega. This guy was either very good at his job or wolves were really just like that in Scandinavia. I truly had no idea which one it was.

“You… okay,” I said, and while the alpha raised his gaze to meet mine he did not raise his head from his bowed position.

“I am forgiven, omega?” My chest rumbled lowly at his usage of my sex as a title once more, and I couldn’t stop myself from assuming my defensive position once again; it was instinct. I prayed he chalked up my behavior to my assault only minutes before and not that I was any wiser to anything he might be up to.

“Whatever. Yeah. I don’t care- just leave me alone,” I spat, eager to get away from this alpha. He made me utterly restless, my inner omega bouncing off the walls, screaming “not safe- not safe!”

“Thank you.”

He sounded genuine, I would not deny. I nodded at him once, his eyes boring holes into mine in a way that made me feel unsure of my very being. It was extremely unsettling; like he could see into my soul.

I turned away from him and put my bloodied keys into the car door, unlocking it, carefully listening to anything moving behind me. Just as my hand wrapped around the handle, the alpha stopped me.

“I am Harry,” he said, and I spun to face him once more.

“Sam,” I lied cautiously. No one in this town knew my real name. 

“It was nice to meet you, Sam,” Harry said, and I searched his eyes for dishonesty. While I didn’t doubt I wouldn’t be able to find anything if he was as good at his job as James would demand, I still wanted to check. But I’d been right. There was nothing there, no hint of a liar in those green orbs.

“I wish I could say the same.”

And I turned away again, climbing into my car. As I drove away I did not look at him in my rearview mirror, though something in my chest told me he was watching me.

…

It was three days later, three days after I’d jammed a key in an alpha’s eye in a Tesco parking lot, that I was running into the district police station.

It really wasn’t a long or complicated story, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t in a predicament.

Walking past the police station was something I did daily; it was on the way to the district courthouse where I organized file folders in the basement all day for minimum wage. I had never gone inside, as criminals who steal identities on the regular don’t typically make it a habit to go inside police stations, but today is was a bit of a necessity.

Daniel LeBlanc was walking down the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street.

As soon as I spotted him I sprinted inside the closest building that would get me out of sight. Apparently coincidence wasn’t in my favor today, as that building had been the one place I was especially wary of walking past everyday.

I pressed myself against a wall inside the entryway of the police station, hoping I’d gotten inside before Daniel had noticed me, but my chances weren’t good. Daniel knew my scent, and even if he hadn’t spotted me, he very well may have smelled me even across the road, and no one would question Daniel’s actions- especially in a courthouse.

I looked around, but the foyer was empty with the except of an oblivious alpha that just happened to be walking in the bathroom across the- a bathroom. Oh, thank the Elements. I needed to pull myself together, and with all the scent blockers in restrooms, Daniel might not be able to smell me if he came looking.

I sprinted across the foyer and through the door labeled for omegas, collapsing against the sink, breathing heavily. I really needed to calm down. My scent was expanding with my anxiousness, and scent blockers could only do so much.

I began washing my hands when another omega walked in, but she wasn’t fooled. I knew better than to expect she would be, but I didn’t know what else to do- what, run into a stall? She paused at the door to hers, seemingly contemplating something before she finally walked over to me and placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. I barely managed to keep from flinching, watching us in the mirror. 

Her voice was gentle when when she spoke. “Are you alright?”

No. “Yes.”

I turned from the sink, going to the paper towel dispenser, wishing for an air dryer that would discourage her from prodding, but there wasn’t.

“Are you sure? Your scent… is strong right now; you’re distressed.”

She was petite, like nearly all omegas, and had a quietness about her that depicted respect as opposed to submission. I liked her. But I did not like that she wouldn’t leave me alone with my business. 

“I-” I stopped, refusing to let myself berate someone who’d just been trying to help me. I took a breath. “I ran into an ex-alpha,” I explained, “things didn’t end well with him, and it freaked me out a little to see him.” Not exactly the truth, but close enough.

Her scent became a little stronger as a frown overtook her face. She wanted to comfort me, I could see it in the way her fingers twitched as though wanting to reach out for something, but she knew her own physical boundaries. I was grateful.

“I’m in a similar situation myself,” she came out from behind me and leaned on the sink by my side, “alphas really don’t know how think with anything other than their knots, do they?” I snorted, my lips quirking up at the corners. “Do you need to file a report with the police? I mean, it wouldn’t be a very long walk for you.”

It wasn’t enough to make me smile, but I appreciated her diligence and effort. “No, it doesn’t warrant a restraining order or anything, he’s just… persistent, you could say.” Somewhere through my sentence I began speaking about James as opposed to Daniel, but Daniel, to me, would always just be an extension of him. They were practically one and the same.

The omega nodded in response, and her hand began rubbing at a bruise on her arm that I hadn’t noticed before. I began to wonder just how bad her “similar situation” was.

“Thank you,” I said, trying to end the conversation, “for being kind.” 

She gave me a final smile before she turned and went into a stall, and I turned back to myself in the mirror. What would I do if James was in town with Daniel and his collectors? I didn’t know. I had no plan, no idea, no strategy.

And even with that, I still walked right out of that bathroom.

It was mere seconds before everything went to hell. Right in front of me, only a few feet away from where I stood at the door to the omega bathroom, was Daniel,  talking on the phone, back turned to me. I knew that even if I ran away right then, there was no chance he wouldn’t pick up on my scent. All he needed to do was breathe in. 

I stuttered my way into a different gear, the self-preservational part of my brain turning on, though I feared it was too late. That was, until, I saw an alpha coming out of the bathroom beside mine, just a foot away. 

I hand no time to hesitate, no time to contemplate. I was working, living on seconds here, seconds before Daniel would simply breathe in through his nose and it would all be over for me.

The alpha from the bathroom stopped mid-stride when he saw me. I don’t know why, and in the moment that didn’t matter. All that mattered was the fact that when I looked at his neck, there wasn’t a bond mark. Good enough.

I stepped forward and grabbed the alpha by the back of his neck pulled him down to me.

There was one moment of nothingness. One. Our faces were maybe an inch apart and as I looked into this alpha’s eyes, we both stopped for a second. I couldn’t waste any more time. 

I kissed him- hard. I kissed him in a way that made me feel it in my toes, in a way that was sure to make his scent expand. I let his tongue into my mouth, pushed our bodies flush to each other, let his hands roam on my waist. Instinctively, my hands went to his hair, holding on out of fear that he would leave.

I shifted my body weight to the left half of my body, and he took a step to the side- our lips still connected- blocking me from Daniel’s view.

It was working.

Almost immediately his scent overtook mine- typical alpha trait, strong scents- and enveloped me. I ignored how my inner omega preened at the scenting.

I listened carefully as our lips moved against one another’s. Just seconds into our kiss, seconds after his scent had hidden mine, did I hear Daniel stop talking on the phone. I kissed the alpha harder, if that was possible, and he clutched me closer to him, his huge frame completely obscuring from Daniel’s view.

My heart came out of my throat when I heard footsteps walking away, and when they got quiet enough that I couldn’t hear them anymore I kept kissing this random guy for good measure. Eventually, with a moment of courage, I pulled away. Careful to stay close enough to him that if Daniel, but some sort of sorcery, was still standing there he was wouldn’t be able to see me, I stood on my tiptoes and looked tentatively over the alpha’s shoulder.

Daniel wasn’t there.

Oh, thank fuck.

The alpha I had just basically assaulted had tentatively taken one hand off my waist while the other remained, and though I kept my gaze on the ground after looking over his shoulder, I was sure there were unspoken questions in his eyes.

I took a step back from the alpha quickly at the realization that Daniel could return at any moment, and my gaze finally flickered to his face after peering over his shoulder once again.

I wanted to absolutely die.

Harry. The alpha from three days earlier in the grocery store parking lot. The alpha that I still wasn’t completely certain was not associated with James.

“Sam,” he said, and though it seemed like he tried to hide it, his voice betrayed how surprised he wasn’t. That’s why he’d stopped when he’d seen me- he’d recognized me. 

“I’m sorry.” The words flew from my mouth and then I was gone, sprinting out of the police station and down the street, leaving an undeniably confused alpha in my wake.

I was halfway down the road, still heading towards the courthouse, before I noticed that Harry was chasing me.

We were causing a hell of a scene.

I was weaving through pedestrians on the sidewalk and running like my life depended on it, and behind me Harry was bumping into people and muttering apologies he sprinted past with his burly frame.

If any of James’ men were around, looking for me just by chance, I would be making it exceptionally easy for them to spot me.

I ran straight past an alleyway before I gathered the sense to dig my heels into the ground and turn around. Harry was still getting through the crowded sidewalk some ten feet behind me, and even then he was still covering ground quickly.

I went into the alley and pressed myself up against the wall much like how I had in the police station, hoping Harry would run right past me and the alley, but no such luck. I should’ve known better than to hope for it; we’d been kissing only minutes earlier. He would be especially assimilated to my scent.

He turned into the alley, and I did nothing more than stare at him for a second before I came off the wall. I cautiously peered over my shoulder, and- because I have the best luck in the world- a dead end was behind me. Harry was stood in front of my only exit, but that was not my biggest problem right then.

I crouched slightly, readying myself, but when I spoke my voice was gentle and appeasing. “Harry,” I said softly, “I’m very sorry I kissed you like that. It was wrong of me- I’m so sorry.”

I met his gaze with extreme caution, unsure of whether or not he’d be insulted by incomplete submission from me in the face of conflict. My eyes flitted over him quickly, taking stock of his reactions and posturing, before returning to his face.

He looked displeased. Borderline confused, borderline in disbelief, but not completely crossing either threshold. His chest was puffed out in typical alpha fashion, his shoulders rolled back and his stature taking advantage of his height.

I could hardly believe what I’d done; shocked that I’d put myself in such a situation. But still, if I had to do it again to get away from Daniel, I would.

It was in the middle of my recognition of my astonishment at myself when Harry suddenly advanced on me. I don’t know what it was. In any other situation I would’ve buckled down, growled low in my throat and met the challenge of a fight with Harry head on, but my inner omega was confused from our actions of earlier. He didn’t want to displease Harry.

This, the fact that I’d made myself completely vulnerable to Harry by not reacting to his charging, was why I was completely surprised when Harry merely backed me into a wall, stuck two fingers under my chin and tilted my head up.

“Please, omega,” he voice was staggeringly calm, “Do not run from me after such things. It... made my inner alpha see red.”

I wanted to punch myself in the face.

How could I have not thought of his own inner alpha’s response? I was only contemplating that he’d been angry about kissing, not about my actions after.

With a quick jump in my thought process, I vaguely recollected that, once again, he’d called me by my sex. When he did it though, it seemed to almost be a term of endearment as opposed to how most of the British Territory utilized it. It made me wonder if I could work that to my advantage.

“I’m sorry-“ I knew I needed to take a leap of faith- “alpha.”

Through our exchanges over the past few days, I’d viewed Harry as an alpha that- while he had his moments in which he was surrendered to his instincts and inner alpha- was an intelligent person understanding of the right and wrong treatment of omegas.

This moment was one of the ones in which he had to surrender to his instincts.

His pupils blew at the word, leaning down to shove his nose in the crook of my neck. He was scenting me again, covering me in his smell intentionally. 

I had to push just a little.

“Alpha,” I whispered.

I had never witnessed another omega be in a situation quite like this- one where they were actively exploiting an alpha’s instinctual weaknesses. This was completely new territory. An unprecedented type of situation. 

Harry brought his face from my neck and placed his hands on the wall beside my head after having had them on my waist. He tilted his head to the right, eyes closed, lips slightly puckering, going in for the kiss. I waited, took a breath, and slipped out under his right arm, sprinting for the street.


	2. The Train

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying to get out of town, Harry and Louis run into each other on the train. When an unhinged alpha causes Louis distress, Harry surprises him with his response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all. Got any opinions? Questions? Comments? Concerns? Suggestions? Drop 'em below please and thanks.  
> Phia

I was all paid for and ready to go. My ticket was under a new name- not Sam Piccard anymore. David Carter. Simple, easy- both for me to remember and for everyone else to forget. All I had left to do was remain inconspicuous.

That was more complicated than you might think.

In my time on the streets, I’d already gone through three identities. The first- the one I’d stolen when I was merely a scared amatuer- was Ken Darsby. Ken had lasted a whopping three weeks before James had asked one of his industry buddies in Cambridge to keep an eye out for me.

Guess where I was.

The second was Laurence Patterson- I’d learned how to cover my tracks since the first time. Laurence, this time in Southampton as opposed to Cambridge, kept me hidden for a solid seven weeks. A real accomplishment, if you ask me. But James had apparently invested in the coffee chain I’d been working at, and when he’d sent a human resources manager out to check on the branch I worked as a barista at, I was spotted.

Rotten luck, I had.

The third, obviously, had been Sam Piccard. I made it a good three months in this one, working as a low level employee to a massive government funded building- the district courthouse of Edinburgh- which would keep me out of James’ business reach. Even he didn’t quite have hooks in government officials- that was with the exception of Daniel, of course. But what could you expect? Alpha brothers had a rare type of emotional connection.

I scrounged up my new identity, David Carter, only minutes before my train to Liverpool was due up. An unexpecting omega had accidentally ran into me just past the ticket booth and I took the opportunity to snatch his wallet. I rolled my eyes at how easy it’d been. Omegas were the more naturally cautious sex, but I’d be damned if they weren’t far too trusting of other omegas they don’t know.

I stood there on the platform, wind biting at my nose above my scarf and my ankles, uncovered by my old Converse. There were only a few other people on the platform, all completely wrapped up in their own little bubbles, some on their phone and others making small talk.

The train bell sounded in the distance a ways down the track, out of view because of the Edinburgh fog. Finally- it had only taken thirty-five bloody minutes. I was staring at the track in front of me, gloved hands rubbing up and down my arms, when a shape came into my peripheral vision. My head cocked to the side to get a better view of who was coming onto the platform.

I nearly fainted.

Harry.

Because even with all the things I had to worry about, why not toss the alpha I’d kissed and then greatly- and obviously- manipulated yesterday my way? And oh yeah- I still wasn’t completely certain whether or not he was a creature of coincidence. James very, very well could be having him get close to me in an attempt to get me vulnerable. Then he could grab me when I least expected it.

I pulled my scarf up over my mouth and the tip of my nose, and I prayed with everything in me- because that was my only option left- that Harry would not notice me.

Prayer is some dumb fuckery, I’ll tell you that much.

I watched from the corner of my eye as Harry stood at the edge of the platform, a ways away- and as far as I could tell- unaware of my presence. He had on a dark overcoat and tight black jeans tucked into some sort of ankle boot- I didn’t know what it was called. It wasn’t like I had the money to splurge on things like that.

He didn’t have on any gloves or extra protective clothing, and I wasn't surprised. Alphas ran hotter than omegas by a good ten degrees. They were walking infernos extremely capable of destruction. We were- by most standards- fragile, perpetually cold beings.

Everything in me wanted to go to him, let his body heat wrap me up, but my inner omega was just confused, same as he had been for the past day. He seeked his protection, his warmth. Thank the Great Warrior my inner omega didn’t have more power over me than my brain.

The train pulled to a slow, creaky stop in front of me, and I climbed aboard as quickly as possible. The upper level of the car had large, spaced out seats, and the bottom had smaller ones cramped together.

I wanted to go and sit in the top level. The seats were nicer, and heat rises so it wouldn’t be as cold as the bottom of the train car. But the top level was for alphas, brought about by some deeply ingrained idea that omegas can’t be in any high place for an extended period of time out of worry of them hurting themselves.

Please. First of all, there were guardrails, second of all, I wasn’t a fucking idiot. I was perfectly capable of sitting in the “big wolf” section without putting myself in danger.

But doing something like that would draw attention to me, and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

So I sat down in the back of the bottom level, myself next to the window while my ratty backpack occupied the space that lined the aisle. The warmth of the car made it suitable enough to do without gloves and a scarf, so I pulled them off, leaning over to stuff them in my bag. I was just doing up the zipper when a voice had me freeze in my tracks.

“Excuse me.”

I looked up slowly, still hunching over my bag from a seat over. As my gaze made its way up the body of the person in front of me, recognition dawned far too quickly for my liking. My inner omega, however, was over the fucking moon.

Harry. Naturally. Why was the Great Warrior deeming it so reasonable to throw us together this way, over and over?

I stared at him blankly, his green eyes boring into mine while I floundered for words. He looked surprised that it was me he was speaking to, and I could only hope it was genuine. I’d been hunched over my bag, so when he’d approached he hadn’t been able to see my face. But if his surprise was an act, that meant that James had sent him to this train to track me down. To bring me back to James. It also meant James already knew where I was headed, and that he’d had a track on me for five days now at least.

Fear like I’d hardly ever known before coursed through my veins, and my inner omega seemed to want some distance from Harry at my realization. He whined in my head, high and distressed, and I had to shut him out to hear Harry speaking.

“Sam, good to see you again- I did not know it was you.” I scanned every inch of his face, searching for a tell, and just when I thought I’d missed it- or that, hey, maybe he was not a physco alpha collector like I feared- his left eyelid twitched. The tiniest bit, just a little under his eyebrow, something so minute it could be nothing. But it could also be everything.

“Yes,” I gulped, “It is nice to see you, too.” I couldn’t wrap my mind about how he seemed genuinely happy about seeing me again, especially as I had attacked him with my lips and then exploited his inner alpha’s preference for being addressed by his sex merely a day earlier. It added to my suspicion about him, even more so if you take in the fact that his enjoyment was authentic while his unexpectedness at my presence seemed ingenuine.

“May I sit here?” He asked, Scandinavian accent becoming painfully apparent to me on the ‘t’ of sit, and I nodded- there really wasn’t any other option. He would sit there whether or not I said yes, if my nineteen years of dealing with alphas was anything to go off. I tried to take that with a grain of salt though, because the differences between British and Scandinavian alphas appeared to be massive and never ending.

I grabbed my bag and moved it to my feet, and Harry sat down in the seat beside me, essentially cutting me off from the aisle unless I were to actually climb over him. My inner omega was far, far too nervous, and I knew that if I didn’t placate him eventually my scent would begin to spread.

And that would just be the very opposite of excellent.

The train pulled away from the station, the car manager came through and punched tickets, and then then entire car was left in silence. I was beginning to be grateful that Harry wasn’t attempting to make small talk, but just when I was about to try and doze off against the window, he spoke.

“So, are you going all the way to Liverpool?” Liverpool was the last stop of the line, and there were some other stops I could get off at that would drop me in some metropolitan areas. But I’d already researched Liverpool, studied the flow of the city, gotten a few leads on some jobs. Getting off now at a different stop after all of that would not be a fantastic idea.

I nodded at Harry.

“Me too,” he said, “What were you doing in Edinburgh?”

I balked. Usually I could spin lies like yarn, could come up with elaborate tales that lacked any sort of truth with no problem, even in the face of danger or possible danger like I was now, but Harry had something about him that made me stop and have to think about each thing I did. It was possibly the worst thing he could do to me without touching me.

“Just… visiting a friend,” I eventually spit out, and Harry nodded along. I could only hope I sounded convincing.

“That sounds nice, omega,” my lips twitched at the title he used. He knew me as Sam- why wasn’t that good enough? I bit my tongue though, and nodded.

“It was nice.”

“Can I ask you something?” Harry said suddenly, and he leaned in close to whisper. His breath on my neck had my head swimming, my vision blurring. No alpha had ever affected me quite the way Harry did, and I did not want to know the reason as to why. That would only make things worse.

“Yes,” I whispered back. My hands began to tremble, both from Harry’s close proximity and the association he may or may not have with James, and the overwhelmingness of it all was beginning to take its toll. But I fought the lump in my throat down, prepared to fight any emotions or instincts that wouldn’t serve me well; I hadn’t come this far to be captured by an alpha that simply knew what he was doing for once.

“Why are there no other alphas down here?”

My jaw, that I hadn’t noticed I’d clenched, relaxed at his easy going question.

I leaned away from Harry, and at my movement he adjusted himself backwards. He looked a little sheepish at my reaction.

“They sit on the upper level. Omegas stay down here.” He furrowed his brows at my response, and curiosity overtook me. “Do they not typically separate in Scandinavia?”

His entire head whipped towards me at once, eyes wide and lips slightly parted.

Uh oh.

“How did you know that I’m from Scandinavia?”

Over two hundred years ago the vast majority of accents had been eradicated when most of the globe was hit with a pandemic- Monikker. About half of the world’s population had died, leaving only the most developed countries of Europe, North America, Scandinavia, Oceania and Asia behind. The nations that had survived quickly grouped together, abandoning their individual nationalities in favor of a stronger bond between wolves, henceforth forming the Territory of Amerigo, Scandinavian Affiliation, Jurisdiction of United Europe, Collective Alliance of Asia, British Territory, and the Oceania International Union.

As these new world powers began to try and safely rebuild the destruction that surrounded them, accents quickly lost all uniqueness and cultural actions took their place of importance in day to day life.

After the Territory of Amerigo- formerly the United States of America and Canada from what my high school history textbook told me- officially elected not to try and rebuild South America or Central America for they were majorly comprised of undeveloped countries when the pandemic hit, they sent many wolves to the Oceania International Union to attempt to find a solution for cleaning the oceans surrounding them that were tainted with Monikker.

Many wolves went back and forth between the Territory of Amerigo and the Oceania International Union for generations of rebuilding, and after many, many years, their individual accents slowly morphed into a middle ground that had not existed before.

When the the oceans of Oceania were cleaned to the best of both world powers’ abilities, both the Territory of Amerigo and the Oceania International Union began sending people to the Scandinavian Affiliation, Jurisdiction of United Europe and Collective Alliance of Asia, all of which had been trading wolves back and forth for the better part of a century and a half.

By the time all had been accomplished with what had needed to be rebuilt, the accents had morphed and changed so drastically that they all extremely resembled one another, to the point where they were very nearly indistinguishable.

But specific districts of certain world powers had not sent nor received any help from the outside, and so they remained isolated in a way that, while their accents greatly depleted in potency, sometimes caused them to remain very slightly.

I could only assume that Harry was from a Scandinavian district of those sorts.

Harry was still looking at me expectantly, and it took me a moment before I completely recalled what he’d asked me.

“It’s your accent,” I answered simply, hoping he would drop it. No such luck.

“I’ve spoken to linguists about it-” why in the fuck would he speak to linguists about it?- “And they’ve told me that it’s hardly noticeable with the exception of pronunciation on certain syllables or letters.”

He was not angry, merely appalled at what I’d uncovered about him. I hadn’t known it was sensitive information, so excuse me.

“I want to study sociolinguistics in college.” Correction: I’d wanted to study sociolinguistics in college before I met James and he ruined any plan of that. Now all I was focused on was remaining free.

“I was told that very few untrained professionals would be able to detect it. Especially if those untrained professionals had grown up in a place without unique dialects.”

I tried to act impassive, “I’m sorry you were misinformed, Harry.” He stared at me a second, no particular look on his face, before turning away and not facing me again for a while.

Harry didn’t need to know that virtually all of my skills in accent recognition came from my time in the slums of major cities in the British Territory. Statistically, the vast majority of wolves who emigrated out of isolated, dialect-bearing districts and into a more uniform one had a hard time adjusting to that life. They typically ended up in the worst parts of the cities, the slums or ghettos or hoods, and when I first got to any city I usually spent the better part of my first month in that city- if I even made it that far in that city- there in the slums.

It had helped me pick up a wide range of skills.

I leant my head against the train car window, noticing that the sun was still setting at the same height in the sky as it had been when my conversation with Harry started. Jesus, barely any time had passed and the several hour journey had just started. This wasn’t going to be quick and painless, that much was obvious.

I was letting the cold glass of the window cool myself down; my body still felt like it was burning from all the anxiousness I was going through. A headache I hadn’t noticed I’d acquired dissipated slowly and I closed my eyes, once more hoping I could doze off. But Harry began to speak, and I was sat up straight almost immediately. My heart began to pound harder as Harry whispered in my ear again.

“What else do you know about me?”

That was… was that my confirmation? Did he know that I knew he was part of James’ plethora of alpha collectors for me? How could he even gather that from my understanding of him being Scandinavian? So many questions, and hardly any of them had answers.

I tried to skip around any verification that I did indeed know he was associated with James- if he even was. That was still so massively blurred. My head began to swim- I wasn’t this confused ever. Ever.

“I know… that your name is Harry… and you make a hard “t” sound when you speak… and you don’t like it when I run after I kiss you.” The last one I blurted out before I could stop myself. We hadn’t spoken about it yet, and I hadn’t had any intention of speaking about it ever, but now it was out there.

A slight frown overtook Harry’s features. “No, omega,” he shook his head, “I do not. And I still do not know why.”

“Do not know why what?”

“Why you kissed me yesterday.”

My scent began to expand. I knew it. I could smell it, and when Harry lifted his hand to “scratch at his nose” I knew he could to. I sat there in silence, with absolutely no intention of giving him any explanation. I was uncomfortable, distressed, and it was unhindered because I couldn’t hinder it if I tried.

Then I caught an eye of an omega sitting a few rows in front of us. Nearly all the omegas in the car were shifting around, painfully aware of my scent, and I prayed- once again, prayed- that my scent hadn’t floated through the metal ceiling to the top level of the car.

I looked next to me quickly when the omega holding my gaze gestured to Harry. My scent reeked of discomfort and distress, and Harry had lowered his head, staring at his hands, seemingly in shame of causing such a reaction from me.

The omega that gestured to Harry thought he was causing my upset state, and while he was, all I wanted was for no more attention to be drawn to me. I shook my head at the omega, and he nodded before looking away, dropping the topic.

I was just beginning to be calm once again when the harsh sounds of feet pounding on metal filled the car. The door for the stairs to the upper level flew open, revealing an alpha about my age, maybe a little younger, whose nostrils were flared and eyes wide.

Oh, Great Warrior- what had my life come to?

The alpha locked eyes with me almost immediately, and every omega in the car hunched in on themselves as he growled low in his throat at the sight of me, visibly distraught, partly from him now and partly from Harry.

My breath stopped coming in and out when he began stalking towards me. I couldn’t fight this alpha- anything I did would alert the other alphas on the upper level to my upset state, and then there would be the brawl to end all brawls between instinct-driven alphas that all wanted to protect the sad little omega. Typical.

A reaction from Harry- literally any type- was not even remotely close to what I’d be expecting.

When the stranger of an alpha got within five feet from me Harry shot up from his seat and into the aisle, standing to his full height and drawing his shoulders back in a show of dominance. He created a boundary between this alpha and myself, and at his actions I drew air into my lungs once more.

“Do not get near him.” Harry’s voice was low, dangerous, and exceptionally threatening. My inner omega practically whined with joy at his territorialness, all past hesitation when it came to him flying right out the window.

The alpha on the other side of Harry growled low in his throat at Harry’s addressing of him in a ordering fashion. “He is distressed-” well, you’re certainly not helping that situation- “and I think it was you who made him that way.”

I could see only Harry’s backside, but I knew he must be furious. To have another alpha insult him in such a way- to assume that he was not adequately caring and protecting an omega he was acquainted with- was an insult to his very innermost wolf. His alpha must have been fuming.

“What caused him discomfort is none of your concern, so it is in your best interest to walk away from this situation before I make you.” Harry took a step towards the alpha as he spoke, and over Harry’s shoulder I locked eyes with him.

He was young, much younger than I’d first thought he was when appeared in the car. He couldn’t be more than fifteen- oh no.

I held the alpha’s gaze as long as I could, trying to look for some sign that I was right- and then there it was. The situation was insulting to both alphas, and while this alpha had just been threatened, it was not a situation that required flashing his eyes.

The moment it happened I knew he hadn’t done it intentionally, especially at me. Flashing of the eyes was meant for the most dangerous of situations, meant as a warning to the other party that their inner wolf was about to completely take over- no holds barred.

No other alphas upstairs in the car had come down, meaning that all of them were either impartial to my scent- extremely unlikely for an entire train car full of alphas- or this particular alpha’s senses had been on high alert. And there was only one reason for that.

“Harry,” I said, “Alpha-” fuck you, it slipped out- “Harry!” I grabbed onto his forearm with both hands, grip tight. He turned his head towards me but his gaze remained on the alpha. I tried again; I needed his full attention. “Harry,” I repeated, more urgently this time. His gaze snapped to me quickly, eyes full of concern my well being and questions sprinting through his head, I was sure.

“Omega,” was all he responded, and I knew we were both watching the alpha in our peripheral vision.

I opened my mouth to say something, but something snapped inside the alpha in front of us and he growled low, a rough rumble from deep inside his chest, and Harry’s attention was back on him within seconds.

They both crouched and I feared there was nothing more I could do; Harry was going to hurt this teenage alpha who was going through his first rut. He must’ve had no idea how to control himself. He probably couldn’t. I remembered how I had to surrender to my instincts during my first heat- it was unavoidable. Your inner wolf ruled you, asking for one thing and one thing only from both alphas and omegas: pups.

I pushed against Harry’s shoulder, trying to get him to turn to face me a little, but he was solid as stone, as deadly focused as a lazer. I didn’t want to- I really, really did not fucking want to- but I wanted Harry to hurt this alpha even less.

I stood on my tiptoes- holy Elements, Harry really towered over me- and placed my palm flat on the back of his neck. He stiffened in his place but did not move.

Harry’s skin was hot, hotter than it usually was, and when I leaned forward I saw his upper lip drawn back over his canines. They’d fill dropped.

Well, fuck me.

Leaning up as far as I could, I brushed my lips against his ear. His entire body stilled, growl ceasing in his chest. He still did not face me or take his attention from the alpha.

“Harry,” I said softly, “Alpha… he’s going into rut. Be rational, alpha. Be respectable.”

At first I did not think my words had any effect on Harry. But then he stood up, slowly, jerkily from his defensive position.

The alpha in front of us still looked poised to fight, seconds away from a charge forward, but I knew, knew from somewhere deep within me that Harry would not hurt the alpha.

“Please,” Harry began, hands raised in a show of him not meaning any harm, “Listen to me.” The alpha stopped growling but he did not rise from his position. “Are you on this train with anyone?”

He shook his head no. I held in a whine at the difficulty of all of this- a whine would definitely not help things right now.

“Are you meeting anyone at the train station when you get off?” Harry continued. The alpha nodded. Finally, an ease to the situation. “Listen carefully please,” Harry lowered his hands and let his shoulders slouch forward, a sign of compliance.

The alpha stood up slightly. It was a goddamn miracle that Harry was managing to calm down an alpha in their first rut. A miracle from the Mothers.

“You are entering your first rut.”

At Harry’s words the alpha’s eyes blew, and his scent that had already been permeating the entire car began to expand further. At least he wasn’t fighting with Harry over this.

“Go to the bathroom,” Harry said softly, trying to fight his nature of ordering another wolf, “Please, you need to go to the restroom and lock yourself inside until you get off the train. You will become unstable when your rut completely hits, and you could hurt an omega.”

The alpha stood completely and looked around himself at everyone in the car. Every pair of omegas eyes stared straight back at him, and I couldn’t imagine what he was feeling. When he turned back to Harry he looked afraid, afraid of himself and what he could do. Normal alphas like this teenager would never forgive themselves if they hurt an omega; it would haunt them for the rest of their lives.

“Go, please, and keep these omegas safe.”

And to my immense, immense surprise, the alpha sprinted out of the car, and up the stairs to the alpha bathroom on the top level.

I took a deep breath, not finding my own scent in the air; the alpha’s had completely overpowered my own.

I took only one step back before I ran into the wall of car, my elbow hitting the window with a soft “ting.” Harry was stood in front of me still, blocking me from the aisle as he had been the entire train ride. Neither of us moved for a second.

And then Harry turned around to face me.

Him facing me while we were both in the cramped couple of feet in front of our seats made me painfully aware of how close were. He couldn’t have been stood more than two feet from me.

I stared into his green eyes- his pupils were more dilated than I’d ever seen him, even during the time I’d kissed him- and stared right back. I wasn’t searching for anything this time. I wasn’t trying to pick apart his intentions. I was just looking at him, and he was just looking at me.

In fact, I was so caught up in our our little staring contest that I didn’t notice him getting closer in the small space until I was completely pressed against the train car’s wall and the tips of his boots were touching the tops of my Converse.

I could feel his hot breath on my forehead, and I didn’t know how to react. My inner omega was making me stupid again. And Harry leant down, still staring at me with an unreadable expression I didn’t want to understand, and any level of intelligence he may have left behind dissolved into a puddle.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled flush to him, completely at his mercy between him and the wall. It would’ve been a waste of energy to even try to stop my hands from winding their way into his hair.

I felt him nuzzle his nose into my neck and I wrapped myself closer to him still, if that was possible. His scent flowed over me in strong doses; he was scenting me for the second time in two days.

It was only then that I placed exactly what his scent was. It had messed with my inner omega a lot in the past few days, being unable to put a name to his scent. But now I knew, I was absolutely certain of just what it was, and I thought I might faint.

Leaves. Autumn leaves that crunch under your feet when you walk, and warm brown sugar. So comforting- a loving scent. But then there was the hardiness of burning birchwood, so stereotypically alpha, so protective, so powerful, that I was genuinely grateful for Harry’s grip on my waist, as my knees felt weak to an embarrassing degree.

I had never felt this way about an alpha’s scent.

I dug my nose in close to his scent gland, taking in as much as I could for I knew that he would inevitably pull away, and while the tiny rational part of my brain that remained was grateful the moment would end and I’d be able to get some sort of my smarts back to me, I also wanted it to be infinite.

And that wasn’t good.


	3. The Jewelry Store

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis arrives at an omega den in Liverpool and is introduced to its runners. Some unintentional wording sends Louis into a downward spiral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y’all. Anyone else on here got a twin? Asking simply because I’d like to know if yours annoys you as much as mine does.  
> Phia

Rain hung heavily in the air by the time I made it to the jewelry store in downtown Liverpool.

My Converse flung droplets of water forward as I walked, and as my footsteps echoed on the pavement of the sidewalk I couldn’t help but acknowledge the burning feeling on the back of my neck. Was someone watching me? It definitely wasn’t unusual for me and my situation, but it also didn’t typically happen when I’d been in a city no more than twenty minutes.

Whatever; I was too tired to care. If I spent a mere three days in Liverpool before I had to leave again, then so be it.

The large glass windows of the storefront loomed in front of me, giving me a view of my reflection I hadn’t asked for. The rain had turned my quiff into a shaggy fringe that hung across my forehead, and water droplets clung to my eyelashes. I might’ve called myself pretty had I not been bone tired and had attractiveness not been the last thing on my priority list.

Stepping away from the windows, I knocked on the glass door, the darkness hindering much of the view I had of the inside of the store. Through the lack of light I made out a counter with a cash register and some large cases that I assumed held jewelry.

No one was coming.

I knocked again, louder.

A car alarm went off a couple streets over, and I flinched at the sound.

The burning on the back of my neck worsened, and my hand flew up to my bonding spot as a reflex. It was like someone had been watching me since I first stepped off the train- which wasn’t that crazy a thought, really.

I raised my hand to the glass again, but just as I was going to rap on the door once more a light flicked on inside the store. Someone was walking towards me- an alpha, going off what I could make out of his general body shape.

I couldn’t see his face; the light was on behind him and illuminated none of his front side. It made me feel a little uneasy, but even so, my eyes shut when the lock of the door slid open with a _clank_  that broke the short-lived silence too brutally. 

I didn’t give the poor alpha inside the store more than a second with the door open before I slipped inside. Shuddering at the warmth that so greatly contrasted the coldness outside, I kept one hand on my bond spot while the other rubbed up and down my arms through my wet jacket.

The alpha that had let me inside locked the door and was leant back against it, staring at me. Now facing into the light, I could make out his face. Brown eyes, hair, scruff across his jaw and cheeks, a tired look etched into his face. He seemed about as wary of me as I was him, but he also looked perpetually happy. As though nothing could take that feeling from him. I immediately was curious as to what in the world had given him internal joy so great it wasn’t even hindered by a crazy looking omega banging on his door at one in the morning.

“We’re not hiring,” he said.

I nearly collapsed with relief. The passcodes I’d gotten had been from a long time ago; I’d feared that they’d been changed.  

“Please reconsider, I think you’ll find my references are quite good.” I sounded confident, I thought, with the exception of my voice heightening when the burning began to dissipate on the back of my neck. Was I not being watched anymore, then?

The alpha in front of me uncrossed his arms at my response, and raised his hands with his palms towards me in a show of no danger being meant. “May I come closer?” he asked. I was taken back by his question; I hadn’t been asked that by an alpha once in my entire life, though expecting it from him was reasonably suitable. It was in his line of work- no, it _was_ his line of work to deal with distraught, frightened omegas. He’d need to get good at making sure he didn’t inflict any fear in them from his actions, and while it was difficult, this alpha seemed like he’d gotten it down. Like it was second nature for him.

“You may,” I said, voice shaky. He walked forwards a step but came no closer.

“My name is Liam Payne,” he told me in a appeasing voice, and my inner omega relaxed at his tone, “But in this town I am known as Thomas Rhode.” I’d expected he’d have a fake identity. When running an illegal omega den you couldn’t exactly put down who you really were on your bills and such; the police could use that name to find you or your family if you were ever snitched on. If you used a fake identity, however, you could drop your life here if you were ratted out and pick up your actual one or another fake one in a new city, and there’d be no ties to you.

“I’m Louis…” I hesitated on giving him my last name.

“It’s okay,” Liam said, “I can work with just a first name.”

I shook my head at him. He was the only alpha I’d ever met that ran an omega den- something that spoke greatly to his character- and he was so polite and respectful it made my teeth hurt. The least I could do was trust him with my entire name, though- as I’d learned through many mistakes- trust could get you hurt.

“Tomlinson,” I said quietly, “Is my last name. I’m Louis Tomlinson. It's David Carter in public, though.” Liam nodded at me, opening his mouth to speak, but something over my shoulder caught his eye and a stupid smile occupied his face. Hair standing on my arms when I'd sniffed the air, I knew what it was from smell alone- anyone would. I turned around, and was unsurprised when my view confirmed what I'd already known: a very pregnant omega was stood in front of me.

Ah. So this was Liam’s cause for eternal happiness.

“Zayn,” Liam breathed out, love and devotion absolutely drenching every letter he spoke. I nearly cringed from how much he clearly adored this wolf, but on some level my inner omega was jealous.

“I woke up because the bed was cold- I’m sorry, I didn’t know we had a new resident,” Zayn- apparently- said, rubbing his eyes. At his tired appearance Liam practically sprinted to his side, wrapping an arm around his lower back. Zayn almost subconsciously melted into Liam’s touch, and when Liam’s hand went to Zayn’s stomach, I had to look away.  

“Zayn, this is-” Liam paused a moment, and through the darkness of the room I made out him raising his eyebrows at me. He was asking whether or not he could tell Zayn my real name. I nodded- it wasn’t likely Liam was able to keep many secrets from his omega, anyway. “Louis Tomlinson,” he introduced.

Zayn pulled away from his side, a warm smile on his tired face. As he got closer I was able to make out more details about him.

He was barely taller than my five foot five form, and his back arched slightly from his huge stomach. Holy Elements, was he having triplets? He too had dark hair and eyes- though darker than Liam’s- and his features seemed to be more ethnic than my own, but I still couldn’t be sure from the darkness that hung between us.

Zayn, with one hand on his arching back, hugged me close to him, not even phased when I failed to reciprocate.

“You poor thing,” he said with a tisk, and while I didn’t value his pity, it hadn’t seemed especially pitiful. More like he was just speaking his thoughts aloud, no underlying tone to them. “I’m Zayn Malik,” he said, one of his hands lingering on my shoulder.

“Thank you for taking me in,” I whispered. I rubbed at my face slowly, eyelids heavy. “I’m very sorry for interrupting your night, and I’m very sorry if this comes across as rude- but I’m very tired.”

“Not at all- most of the omegas that come to us are dead on their feet by the time they arrive. Let’s get him upstairs; he can bunk with Niall, his roommate just left the other day, right?”

Liam nodded at Zayn as he eyed my drenched backpack that hung limply off my shoulder. “Would you get him some dry clothes? I’ll take him up to his room, introduce him to his surroundings a little bit.”

Zayn agreed, shuffling off somewhere to a dark doorway that I couldn’t quite see into. I assumed that he too knew what Liam had been trying to do when he suggested what he had- he was attempting to protect Zayn.

That was his omega, the focus of his entire existence, and inside that omega was his pup. They were the two most precious things in his life, and I was a stranger, an unknown entity coming into their home because of less than completely obvious reasons. I couldn’t even be angry that he hadn’t let Zayn be alone with me- if it had been me in a position with my pup I wouldn’t let my pup be alone with any stranger either, and the protection an alpha felt for their omega rivaled nearly that of an omega for their pup.

“This way,” Liam said, and I followed him through the darkness of the store to a different doorway than the one Zayn had disappeared into. It seemed to lead into an office of some sort, and while I didn’t know how there could possibly be a living quarters anywhere near here, my confusion was short lived.

Liam pushed on a part of the wall opposite a large desk, and it slid away in a very James Bond-ish fashion.

He didn’t wait for me to follow him and he began ascending the darkened staircase, leaving me there standing in the doorway. Eventually my feet came unglued from the floorboards and I stumbled after the alpha, trying not to trip over anything.

I counted as I went up the stairs- something I did often in any place that wasn’t familiar to me. Thirty-nine steps, a hike by my standards. When I came to the landing Liam was waiting, and he placed a careful hand on my shoulder.

“Are you alright?”

Did he know how heavy a question that was? Did he know the many, many different ways I interpreted that?

“No,” I eventually said, “But not because of this.”

“Fair enough.”

We walked further into the upstairs level, passing a large opening that led into what appeared to be a kitchen and a smaller living room if my darkness-hindered gaze didn’t deceive me.

“I apologize for the lack of lights,” Liam said in a soft voice as we continued on down a long hallway, “We usually don’t turn them on after dark since we have so many omegas here that have bad memories of lights turning on in the middle of the night outside their bedroom doors.”

I understood. I understood far more than Liam might’ve thought I understood.

I could still remember, in my first and only few nights that I spent at James’ home, the light spilling under the door and into our dark bedroom when James returned home late at night from work. I could still remember pretending to be asleep- hoping it would discourage him. I could still remember James coming into our bedroom silently, leaving the room dark, and shutting the door behind him while leaving on the light in the hallway. I could remember his laugh in my ear as he pushed my face down and pulled my ass into the air. I could remember crying and pleading, begging him to stop. I could remember having nowhere to look but through the darkness at the door with the light still spilling under it.

“Louis? Louis, are you with me?”

I’d stopped walking in the middle of the hallway, lost in my own thoughts. My face felt wet- when had I started crying? I hadn’t cried over what James did to me, hadn’t thought of it in months. I brought my hands to my face to wipe my eyes, and my fingers trembled.

“What’s going on?” A door from beside me opened, and out came a groggy sounding omega, “His distress woke me up it’s so bad.”

I couldn’t stop myself.

After remembering those things, after having his voice and laughter ring in my ears again, after feeling my body ache in the memory, I couldn’t stop myself if I tried.

I flew to the other wall of the hallway, slamming my body against it, whine high in my throat, fear coursing through my veins.

“Liam!” I heard from a little ways down the hall. Feet were running towards us through the darkness, so much darkness, I couldn’t see- _where was I? Where’s James? Did Dad sell me again because I was bad? Where’s Dad?_

And the last thing I thought, the only thing I couldn’t rationalize to myself, was  _where’s Harry_?

…

 I woke up in a comfortable place, body wrapped in comfortable clothing. Everything around me was very... comfortable.

Blinking slowly and managing to sit up even slower than that, head feeling heavy all the while, the world around me spun. It rightened itself, my surroundings became clear, my fingers tightened around something soft. I looked down. A navy blanket was pooled around my waist, and white sheets were under me- was I in a bed? My bottom half was in gray pajama pants that I didn't recognize and my torso was enveloped in a black sweatshirt with the words  _Rhode Jewelers_ on it. 

The wall my bed was pushed against was a pale blue. It was… a _nice_ color. I reached out, my fingers brushing the coat of paint on the wall, eyelashes blinking heavily. My jaw felt sort of slack, my toes a little tingly, almost like I’d been drugged, but I’d been drugged- this was not that.

Dark wood panels went diagonally across the floor. It was probably cold… I didn’t like cold, didn’t want to be cold. So I didn’t get out of bed.

With one hand still brushing the blue wall beside me, I peered at my surroundings.

There was a bed opposite mine, and a window between the two beds that had its curtain drawn. Light peeked out from the corners that curled up at the bottom, casting shapes of sunlight onto the dark wood of the floor. Pretty…

The other bed was messy, with an unfolded patchwork quilt over top a disarray of sheets and blankets and pillows. A nightstand was beside the bed, nothing on it with the exception of a single framed photograph that faced away from me.

  _T_ _ick, tick, tick…_

A clock hung above the closed door on the wall opposite the other bed. I tried to read the time but my brain couldn’t make sense of the numbers, and the moving hands kept distracting me. I gave up, focusing instead on the closet next to the door that lead out the room- or at least that was where I assumed it lead.

The closet door was slightly ajar, but not enough for me to see what was inside from my position on the bed. I sat up, hand dropping from the wall, and leant to the side of my bed away from the wall. Further, further, _further…_

With a hard tumble, I found myself on the floor, legs entangled in the navy blanket. Gaze swimming and head spinning once again, I found that A, the ground wasn’t as cold as I thought I would be, and B, I could see into the closet from my new spot.

Lying spread eagle on my stomach with one cheek pressed to the ground, I tried to picture the type of person that would wear the clothes hanging in the closet.

There was a flannel shirt that was one wrong move away from slipping off the hanger. Looked comfy, looked big… looked like an alpha’s. Was this an alpha’s room?

I should smell it.

Following a few failed attempts and after bracing myself on the bed I'd previously been sat in, I managed to climb to my feet. White spots flooded my vision, and my knees knocked together, but I was standing. I took one hesitant step towards the closet, and upon not falling onto my butt, took another.

It was after a few more staggering steps forward that I got my hands on the flannel. I caught sight of the tag, and while the letters danced for a moment, I eventually picked out the word COOPER.

I balled up the fabric and shoved my face in it.

After a few deep inhales, no alpha had scents flooded my senses. There was only the scent of pure, unabridged omega on this fabric, and upon the strong aroma of lily pads and crisp linens hitting me, my head cleared up a little.

The room around me spun one final time, and when it stopped the flannel wasn’t in my hands anymore. It was at my feet, yet I couldn’t recall letting it slip from my grasp.

My ears seemed to open, my nose sensitive to the world again, my limbs capable of actually supporting my body and doing what I needed. Well, I supposed I'd never take bodily functions for granted again.

There was only one thing that I was still confused about- actually, that was a lie. I was still confused about a lot of things, but I was mainly confused about just where the fuck I was.

Unfamiliar territory instincts going on high alert very suddenly, I dashed around the room, putting my blanket back onto the bed and the flannel back onto its hangar. The thick curtain hung heavily over the window same as it had before, and I pulled it away with much caution, worried about just what I’d see outside.

It was a brick wall. I was staring at a brick wall. The window faced a brick wall.

I placed my face against the window, the coolness of it soothing my anxiety the slightest bit. I tried to calm myself, to put together any pieces I could that would tell me where I was, but all I could think was, _Oh, Great Warrior, have one of James’ collectors finally gotten me? Have I been caught?_

When the door behind me open with a creak I spun so quickly that I nearly fell over, immediately assuming a position of defense, growl streaming lowly from my chest.

It was an omega standing in the doorway. I knew from both sight and smell- his scent was the one I’d picked up on the flannel earlier.

Small and blonde, pale and cautious, he was a typical omega. He was very beautiful, had freckles dotting his nose and a large sweater swallowing his tiny frame whole. The sight of him probably made every alpha on the street turn their head.

His head dropped in submission at my growl, the complete opposite of what I’d been expecting in reaction.

“I-uh, I,” he stuttered out, and I stopped my growling. He was afraid, scared of my actions and unsure of how to defend himself, and my inner omega knew he wasn’t a threat. He whined. He wanted me to go to this blonde, comfort him in typical omega fashion. I had to block him out in order to hear the omega speaking. “I’m Niall, your roommate,” he quietly said, and I came out of my crouch, back against the window.

“Louis," I cautiously introduced, "I’m sorry for growling at you.” I unconsciously rubbed at my bond mark with one hand, trying to soothe myself. 

“It’s okay… most of us are quite on edge when we get here,” Niall said, head raising slowly from its bowed position.

I furrowed my brows at him. “Get where? Where are we?”

Niall looked confused- and well, he could join the fucking club. “The… the jewelry store. Rhode Jewelers?” he said. I didn't recognize anything he said except for the name of the store- it was on the sweatshirt I was wearing. 

“I don’t… when did I get here?” I sat down on my bed as I spoke, and Niall slowly moved away from his spot in front of the closed door towards his own.

“It was really late two nights ago. I was sleeping, but then you and Liam were outside the door… you smelled very upset, and it-it woke me up.”

I tried to recall any of what Niall was describing. Liam sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place a face to the name.

“What happened next?” I asked, wary of the answer.

Niall looked uncomfortable and his blue eyes were cast down to the floor as he spoke. “I came out into the hallway, and you… freaked out. Started whining.. and you tried to stay as far from me as you could.”

He kept speaking, and memories flooded back in time with his words.

It had been dark in the hallway, and Liam had been trying to get my attention. A door had opened, I’d tried to get away… I had bee scared. So scared, but it wasn’t of Liam and it wasn’t of the person behind the door that opened, yet I was still scared.

“And you started asking where James was.”

Images flickered in my brain. James’ face, James’ laugh, being in the hallway with Niall and Liam…

“And you didn’t know if you had been sold by your father again, or what you had done, or where you were.”

Blue eyes, financial hardships, an empty heart… all of these things were forever associated with my father in my mind.

“And,” Niall hesitated before he spoke, “You began to hy-hyperventilate, and your scent got very strong... and then you collapsed. But-but before you fell to the floor you… mentioned someone named Harry.”

All the pictures that flew around in my mind disappeared, and in their place was piercing green eyes and the scent of autumn leaves, brown sugar and birchwood.

I fought not to faint- again, I suppose, because from what Niall was telling me, I had fainted once already.

A knock at the door helped in bringing me down from the brink of unconsciousness, and Niall shuffled quickly and quietly to answer it.

He grasped the knob, turned it and pulled.

That’s when I actually did faint again.

Because at the door was Harry.


	4. The Omega Den

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry unexpectedly reunite. Harry’s connection to Liam and Zayn is brought to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live in the Midwest and a snowstorm just sat its ass on our face, so I’ve been using the free time to play catch-up with some writing I’d put on the back burner.  
> Phia

“What happened?”

_I don’t know._

“Did he pass out?”

_Think so._

“Why? What were you talking about?”

_Hadn’t we been talking about that time I passed out? Or, well- the first time I passed out?_

“He was confused; he didn’t remember anything from when he first collapsed, so I was just filling him in- but he was fine!”

_Eh. Debatable._

“Well, clearly he wasn’t fine if he fainted right when you were talking about it.”

_No… I don’t think it was cause of that. It was after… didn’t someone knock on the door?_

“No, Liam, listen to me! Someone was at the door, and when I opened and Louis saw _him_ standing there, he fainted.”

_Who was at the door?_

“Harry?”

“Me?”

 _Harry_.

My eyes flew open, and while my vision swam and my head ached something terrible, I could make out that hovering above me, somehow similar to vultures and angles all at once, were Niall and Zayn. Zayn looked calm, one of his hands brushing through my hair and the other resting on his stomach. Niall looked terrified and indignant towards Liam, who- from what I’d been able to gather through my choppy listening- thought that Niall had caused my fainting spell.

Yes, well, no.

I’m afraid you can blame that one on Harry.

“Welcome back,” Zayn said, small smile on his face. He was kneeling on my left side, speaking in a soft voice.

“Do you feel okay?”

Niall had both hands in front of him, playing with his fingers.

I nodded gruffly.

After sitting up with minimal cooperation from my spinning head, I got a full view of the room around me.

And there, standing right next to Liam, shoulders brushing, speaking in whispers- presumably about me- was Harry.

I was on my feet in seconds.

It was one of those moments where I really had to break down my own reactions to myself to make sense of them.

Why was I growling? Teeth dropping, nails extending? Inner omega going bat-shit crazy? Harry hadn’t acted badly towards me at all, which was extremely surprising seeing as we’d gone through an exorbitant amount of shit together in the last week alone. But the fact that he hadn’t treated me poorly because of that stuff made him just as suspicious as he was surprising. A collector sent by James that was trying to gain my trust to make me vulnerable would not be able to treat me badly, because treating me badly wouldn’t make me more inclined to trust them at all.

Harry was either a collector or a truly remarkable alpha, and I had ran into far more of the former than the latter in my time.

“Louis, Louis- it’s okay,” Zayn said, standing with an admirable effort, but once he was up and between Harry and I Liam pulled him out of the line of fire, taking the position himself.

I would never hurt another omega that wasn’t trying to hurt me first- especially a pregnant one- but I could admit that I probably looked and sounded dangerous; a wolf with everything to lose and nothing to gain.

“What’re you doing here?” I hissed, and Harry held his hands up from behind Liam.

“I have known Liam and Zayn since before they were even mates. I am here to visit them; I planned on staying awhile.”

How much coincidence could there be in the world? This was the only omega den I’d ever seen that was run or at least partially run by an alpha, and that alpha just happened to be friends with someone I hadn’t been able to escape the past few days. Funny how the Universe worked like that. 

“Do you two know each other?” Zayn asked, eyebrows raised. Niall was still sitting quietly on the floor, watching the entire exchange.

I crouched further into my defensive position at Zayn’s question, memories of the parking lot and alleyway and train flooding my mind.

“You, uh,” Harry stammered, hand rubbing the back of his neck, “You could say that.”

“Well, why don’t we all just calm down and then we’ll have a talk like civilized wolves?” Liam suggested. I wasn’t completely sure if his testy mood was because it was his old friend I was growling at or if he simply didn’t tolerate this type of behavior in his omega den, but the strong alpha timbre he put behind his words were enough to have me lighten my posture a little.

“Liam and Harry are going to wait in the kitchen,” Zayn ordered, pulling Niall off the ground with a grunt as he spoke, “And Niall and I are going to get Louis a bit more calm before we join you.” Niall stared at the floor, hands clasped in front of him. Liam and Harry both looked more than hesitant about leaving Zayn- pregnant- and Niall- supposedly less that able to defend himself- in a room with an out of control wolf, but Zayn didn’t budge from his demands.

Huffing, Harry and Liam left, closing the door behind them as Liam threw a final, fleeting look at Zayn and Harry sent me an equal parts confused and concerned glance.  

It was a couple seconds before Harry’s scent dissipated fully, but when it did my self-preservational instincts seemed to leave with him. I stood fully, teeth pulling back up and nails retreating. My pulse slowed, and then picked up, and then slowed, and then picked up again when Zayn advanced on me a little.

“Hey, hey,” he said, halting his steps towards my place by the window, “I’m just going to help you, okay?”

It took a second, a long second, but I nodded gruffly.

Zayn beckoned Niall closer with a jerk of his head, and together they lead me to my bed. When I’d laid down, they sat on either side of me and began running their hands through my hair and up and down along my arms and legs. I hadn’t felt quite so comforted in a long time.

“Louis,” Zayn whispered. My eyes and mouth were closed, and I had no intention of opening either of them. I grunted.

“Mmm?”

“Can we talk about Harry?”

I stiffened, apparently noticeably to Niall and Zayn as they quickened their efforts of comfort. I didn’t want to talk about Harry- someone I’d greatly been hoping would leave my life after I got off the train- but the two omegas in front of me were just trying to help me. They deserved an explanation for my actions.

“Mmm-hmm.” I was reluctant in my answer and I was sure Zayn and Niall could hear it, but Zayn seemed happy enough to get an agreement out of me.

“Will you tell us how you met him?”

I hesitated before speaking; no one needed to know the depth of my situation. “I was… an alpha was giving me a hard time and Harry stepped in.”

A laugh that bubbled past Zayn’s lips startled me. “Sounds like Harry,” he said. “Harry is a very nice wolf, a good alpha.”

Well.

My eyes opened one at a time. “How do you and Liam know Harry?” I asked, voice soft and raspy.

“Well, Liam is from the Oslo District of the Province of Norway in the Scandinavian Affiliation, but I’m from a small district near here,” Zayn explained. “I was working with the military of the Jurisdiction of United Europe in Oslo as a translator last July when there was a bomb explosion.”  

Niall gasped lowly, hand stilling on my leg.

“I remember that,” I said quietly. “July 22nd, wasn’t it?”

Zayn nodded. “Harry’s from the Province of Sweden, a small district way up to the North, but he was stationed near Oslo with the Swedish Provincial branch of the National Intelligence Agency for the Scandinavian Alliance when the attack happened.”

We sat in a silence a moment, not speaking, not hurrying Zayn with his recollections. I had my troubles, but being in the center of an attack on a world power that you didn’t even associate with… there weren’t any words.

“So,” Zayn eventually said, voice unwavering and hiding extremely well how hard I was sure it was to speak about this, “I was in the rubble, breathing in dust and crying from the pain in my ribs and my head and my spine. Feeling sorry for myself,” he scoffed.

I couldn’t imagine the mental capacity it took to be able to look back on such a horrific occasion and condemn your own actions, to wish you’d been stronger. Zayn was one of the only omegas I’d ever met that could really make you wonder if he was alpha from his self-psychology. He was a marvel. 

“I don’t know how long I was under the concrete and brick, but it was long enough to think that I was going to die- and I _was_ going to. I'd given up. But then... noises. And light. It had been so quiet and so dark under all of the remains of the bombed buildings and then- very suddenly- Harry had been there, clearing the rubble from above and around me- freeing me. He saved me.”

“Didn’t-didn’t,” Niall interjected softly before stopping himself a moment. I’d forgotten the precise sound of his voice; it was the first time he’d spoken since I’d gained full consciousness. “Didn’t you say Harry was working with the National Intelligence Agency? For the Swedish Province?” he asked, and Zayn nodded. “They don’t handle first-responder situations, especially not for a province that isn’t their own.”

Niall didn't especially sounded indignant or like he was trying to pick apart Zayn's story, and I could appreciate his wonderings. He came across as respectable and- even more so- respect _ful_ now, though that hadn't been my initial impression of him. An omega that knew who they were and understood themself, which was more than I could say for myself. Niall's hand had moved to my cheek, stroking softly, and I nuzzled into his palm, fabric brushing my face. I turned a little from my place on my back and was confronted by the flannel shirt with COOPER on the tag from however long ago it had been. He must've put it while I'd been passed out. 

I just raised my eyebrows, staring up at Zayn and Niall above me. I didn’t know much about the National Intelligence Agency; it was a government run and funded bureau for a world power that was not my own. I didn’t know how Niall knew so much; there wasn’t a lot of information, even the most basic, about government organizations available to civilians from world powers outside the one that owned whichever government organization was in question. 

“No,” Zayn amended, “They do not. Harry dropped everything he was doing at the time of the bombings to help clear rubble- find survivors.”

“How many did he find?” I could help my asking. Zayn was making Harry out to sound like a hero, and I would draw my own conclusions, thank you.

“54, not including Liam and myself.”

“Liam?” I sat up a bit in the bed, “He was in the bombings?”

Zayn nodded. “He’d lived in Oslo his whole life, and he was interning for the Norwegian Provincial Council at one of the main buildings when the bomb hit. Harry dragged him out, took him to a hospital, came back, dug me out and drove me to the same hospital. And then he went back to the bomb site and did the same thing, over and over and over again. He didn’t stop working for three days. Didn’t sleep, did eat, didn’t rest or pause. There’s 56 total people that are alive because of him.”

“That’s… amazing,” Niall whispered out, and I couldn’t help but agree. These _actions_ , these stories I was hearing about Harry, they all made him out to be the phenomenal alpha I had doubts he was. Was there really be a chance that he wasn’t a collector?

“He introduced Liam and I about a week about he got us out from the rubble- he’d been visiting us both."

“He sounds like an amazing wolf,” Niall spoke his thoughts aloud. I sat up completely, back against the wall at the head of the bed with Niall and Zayn on either side of me, Niall smooshed between myself and wall and Zayn on the side open to the floor. They both hadn’t stopped their movements of comfort for me. 

“Harry is a _remarkable_ wolf- a remarkable alpha. He is one of the Greats from the Scandinavian Affiliation.”

The Greats.

The very best wolves from the different world powers. Alphas, omegas, the most respected of their kind. Greats were leaders, a light in a time of darkness, the most capable, the most fearless, the most respectable.

When gifted the title of a Great, you became a god. The world was at your fingertips, everything and anything you could ask for laid before you. Yet the Greats never asked for anything- their want was for naught. Their want was nonexistent.

They were the best in the world- military wolves, surgeons, lawyers, politicians, scientists, researchers.

Each of them were _groundbreaking._

And each of them- at their very best and very worst points- were the picture of _humility_. They were the most humble creatures of the Great Warrior’s creation. They did not show their medals, boast of their achievements, did not use their wealth for their own gain. They lived the way they desired, in the lifestyle they desired, but it was never in excess.

The Greats were aspirations for us all, but wolves weren’t usually given the prestigious title for acting exceptionally during one time of crisis, no matter how exceptionally it had been.

“A Great? Harry is a Great?” Niall asked, begging to have his words contradicted. But Zayn did not contradict him. Instead he nodded. 

The gears in my head stopped turning, stuttered forward, and kicked into overtime.

Holy fuck.

I’d kissed a Great. I’d damn near _assaulted_ a Great. I’d screamed at a Great, yelled at him for merely trying to help me, had made him chase me through a crowded street. Had made him be undignified.

Oh, Mothers. What has my life come to?

“Harry is… unlike any other alpha,” Zayn spoke cautiously, weighing each word he spoke. “He has accomplished more than I can wrap my head around- has unopposed bravery and humbleness. Saving me, Liam, all those people on the 22nd of July… that’s the tip of the iceberg with him.”

We, and by _we_ I mean Niall and I, spent the next few minutes trying to take in… everything. It was a lot, you could say.

By the time Zayn pulled us from the bed and lead us out of Niall and I’s room and down the hall towards the kitchen, I still hadn’t completely wrapped my head around the whole thing, but I was confronted with my thoughts when we appeared in the doorway.

Harry and Liam were sitting at the large kitchen table with their backs turned to us, speaking quietly to themselves while an abundance of omegas that I did not know mulled around them throughout the kitchen. Oh, yeah. The other omegas being housed here.

There was chatter drifting through the omegas in the large space, and I couldn’t hear Harry and Liam’s conversation any better than they could hear us approach from down the hall, but Liam still turned in his chair the moment our feet passed the threshold of the kitchen.

Zayn’s scent was strong, and the smell of pregnant omega permeated every room he was in, but I had a feeling Liam would turn at Zayn’s presence even without his aroma. Their bond was one of the strongest I’d witnessed in a long time- the level of devotion Liam had for his omega was unlike anything I’d seen from British Territory wolves- but I was willing to bet most mates were the same as Liam and Zayn back in the Scandinavian Affiliation.

“Zayn,” Liam breathed out, and in just one moment he went from sitting beside Harry at the table to wrapping Zayn in his arms.

I heard Zayn’s noises of appreciation when Liam began to scent him, and while omegas flitted between us, my gaze remained on Harry. When he’d first turned once Liam had risen from his seat, he’d watched Zayn and Liam while my eyes washed over his body from across the room.

I couldn’t pick anything out about him that I hadn’t before- he still had wonderful curls that dipped just to his jawline and the facial structure of a lion. He was still undeniably attractive. But my inner omega didn’t whine at his very presence anymore- at least, he didn’t whine negatively. Now he was whining for a different reason in reaction to Harry.

Then Harry’s eyes drifted to me, and- wow.

I was taken back to my days in middle school of crushes on alphas with dream of dinner dates and flowers. It was from a part of my brain that I hadn’t allowed to be in any part of my life for a long time- the part that noticed alphas, that thought about dinner dates and flowers. The part that didn’t immediately have suspicions about Harry anymore, but instead had fantasies.

I prided myself on my control of my omega. I prided myself on being able to turn off my most basic instincts to take care of myself. It had been a year since I’d last let myself think of alphas in this way, this way that made me vulnerable and out of complete control.

I’d beaten alphas into the ground before. I’d scratched eyes out. I’d shoved car keys where car keys didn’t belong. I did whatever it took to keep myself out of James’ grasp.

I made myself into an omega that none would recognize. I made myself into an omega that didn’t seek the protection or care from an alpha- I made myself into an omega that could provide protection and care  _myself_.

I didn’t need an alpha to be happy or safe or comfortable or protected.

But when I looked at Harry, a part of me couldn't help but think about him and me and a bond mark so gorgeous and unignorable that it would keep any other alphas far, far away. 

“Hi,” a voice snapped me out of my staring contest with Harry. “I’m Jenna Colby. Are you new here?”

An omega was stood beside me, between Niall and I, and Zayn and Liam had gotten lost in their own conversation.

“Yes,” I answered softly.

“What’s your name?” she asked. Jenna was about my age and height with hazel eyes that had a bit of a cuckoo-bird look about them, if I was completely honest. She set my inner omega on edge almost instantly.

“Louis.” My answer was short and I looked over Jenna’s shoulder with a pleading look at Niall as I spoke. He seemed as disinterested in a conversation with this omega as I was, but it wasn’t in his nature to get involved in something that wasn’t really his business. Damn it.

“Ooh- let me show you around!” Jenna said, and it sounded like more of a demand than anything else. Her fingers wrapped around my forearm and gripped tightly- too tightly.

I couldn’t blame her for her actions, but ignorance is most definitely not bliss when it comes to me. If she made one more wrong move I wouldn’t hesitate to remove her from me with more than a request.

“No,” I said, teeth unintentionally gritted, “That’s okay. I’ll manage on my own.”

“Oh, come off it. Let’s go-”

She yanked on my arm with strength that was uncharacteristic of an omega, strength that was enough to make me stumble forward a few steps even with my resistance. She yanked in a way that triggered every instinct in me, despite her being an omega. And apparently she yanked in a way that Harry’s alpha did not like at all.

“Omega,” Harry was by my side, hand on my lower back and shoulders broadened before I could blink, “I need to speak with you, please.”

Jenna looked upset that Harry had interrupted our little exchange, but I couldn’t find it within myself to care. If I wished to remain at this omega den, then I needed to keep my wits about me, needed to _not_ make any scenes. And going off with Harry in this way was the easiest way to do that.

“Y-yes, Harry, of course,” I stammered out, and Harry gave Jenna a tight smile before leading me out of the kitchen with a hand on my lower back. Glancing down at my arm, I noticed red marks of fingertips where Jenna had held me. My inner omega cried out in distress.

“I am sorry, omega,” Harry said once we'd gotten away from the kitchen a bit. His voice was low, rumbly, and when his gaze fell upon the marks on my arm as we walked it only got lower and rumblier. He choked back a growl in his throat and his hand slid from the small of my back to my hip, tucking me under his arm and into his side.

And, in an action so very uncharacteristic of me, I didn't fight him on the action. 

Harry’s words confused me. “Why are you sorry?” We were walking down the thirty-nine stairs that led to the hidden omega den upstairs, and Harry still had me tucked into his side even though it made walking a little difficult. 

“Because I put myself in business that was not my own. I should not have interjected, I am sorry, but I couldn’t help myself.” He sounded sincere, extremely so, and I found that I had stopped analyzing the reasons behind his actions and words now that I knew more about him. Perhaps ignorance isn’t bliss when it comes to anyone…

“It is okay, Harry.”

He rumbled low in his chest, upset by my words.

“No, it is not, omega. Do alphas often interject themselves into your life when they shouldn’t?”

“I…” Harry seemed upset thinking about my experience with alphas, “I suppose so.”

I was so caught up in our conversation that I didn’t notice we’d walked all the way through the jewelry store until the freezing, wet air hit me when Harry opened the door. I burrowed myself deeper into Harry's warmth and he wrapped his arm tighter around me in response. I could've been imagining it, but his scent seemed to grow the smallest bit.

Harry lead us outside the store and began to speak again, “I apologize once more, omega," he said, "I did not think about how cold this would be for you."

The cold really did not matter to me when I had some sort of warmth, and when Harry turned me to face him when we stopped walking just outside the store, wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest, I realized I'd spoken that thought aloud. Whoops.

Every rational part of my being was disappointed in myself that I was letting an alpha care for me when I was more than capable of doing so on my own, but my inner omega was whining in pleasure just loudly enough in my mind to make me shut that part of my brain out.

So I let myself be held, right outside that jewelry store by an alpha that I barely knew, yet at the same time knew more about than I thought I ever would.

“Thank you,” I whispered into Harry’s chest, my arms sneaking around his torso under his unbuttoned coat. He was so warm, so comforting.

“You do not need to thank me, Louis.”

And I barely noticed the fact that he did not call me Sam.


	5. Information Central Station

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Information Central Station, where you'll be able to find explanation and detail on most things that are unique to this universe or that may need some clarification.

AGE

As of the beginning of the story, Harry is 23, Louis is 19, Liam is 22, Zayn is 20, and Niall is 19. In this universe wolves/people live much longer than humans in real life- the average lifespan is 115+ years- and age very slowly. For example, a person who it seventy years old in this universe would look mid-forties in today’s standards.  

 

WORLD HISTORY & BREAKDOWN

A pandemic- Monikker- swept the globe about four hundred years before this story starts. Because only the most developed countries in the world had the resources and capabilities to keep their civilians safe, only the most developed countries survived. I based the surviving countries off of the most developed countries today and also places that I just wanted to include in this story.

Surviving countries (by world power):

 **Jurisdiction of United Europe** : France, Germany, Netherlands, Switzerland, Austria, and Poland. Generally countries in central or western Europe.

 **British Territory** : England, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland (I made Northern Ireland and the Republic all 1).

 **Scandinavian Affiliation** : Denmark, Sweden, Norway, and Finland. While I know that Finland is not always regarded as a part of Scandinavia, for the purposes of this story it is.

 **Oceania International Union** : Australia, New Zealand, and Fiji.

 **Territory of Amerigo** : Canada and the United States. For those wondering why it is called the Territory of Ameri _go_ , I did not want to call it the Territory of America as that seemed to mainly correlate to the US. I chose Amerigo because North and South America were both named for the explorer Amerigo Vespucci and it seemed fitting.

 **Collective Alliance of Asia** : Indonesia, Philippines, Japan, and Korea (I made North and South Korea all 1).

 

Geographical Equivalents:

District = City

Province = Country

World Power = Continent (please acknowledge that I do in fact know that the British Isles are not a continent).

 

Examples of Translations:

(City, State, Country) Chicago, Illinois, United States of America → (District, Province, World Power) District of Chicago, Province of the United States of America, Territory of Amerigo.

(City, Country, Continent) Oslo, Norway, Scandinavia → (District, Province, World Power) District of Oslo, Province of Norway, Scandinavia Affiliation.

 

*All individual states or provinces today- California in the US and Manitoba in Canada, for example- LOSE THEIR INDIVIDUALITY. Remember that in this universe a province is the same as a country today, but provinces only have districts/cities and not states. Basically, province does not mean the same thing in this universe as it does in real life.

*All places in this universe can be broken down into a District, Province, World Power construct.

 

REGIONAL SPECIFICS

While many of the countries that survived Monikker are white dominated in real life, please keep in mind that **minorities and people of color are still a part of this universe**. You could argue that there shouldn’t be a large population of them because many of the countries that survived Monikker are majorly Caucasian, and to that I say fuck you- I shall do as I please, and it pleases me that there is some sort of balance between different races and ethnicities in this universe. However, keep in mind that if there was an ethnicity or race from a place that did not survive the Monikker pandemic that was also isolated from the rest of the world- i.e., Greenland or Iceland- then that race or specific ethnicity of that place may have been eradicated.

 

While much of the world powers in this story are greatly connected and communicative, that does not mean that there is a uniform cultural landscape ( _I’m taking AP Human Geography, can you tell?)_. As has been demonstrated thus far in the story, there are major cultural differences regionally.

For example: alphas in the British Territory (generally)- disrespectful, condescending. Alphas in the Scandinavian Affiliation (generally)- polite, respectful, protective.

If you don’t understand the cultural differences of my universe, please go read _Cold Little Heart_ \- I did _not_ write that fic- because I think the cultural differences of that universe are extremely similar to mine, albeit in different regions of the world, and the author does a great job of demonstrating them.

 

There are still native languages that are spoken, but **nearly every wolf is bilingual or trilingual**. What languages spoken depends greatly on what region you are referring to and what history that region has. Wolves in Oceania may know Malay- the official language of Indonesia- English, or a plethora of different Asian languages because of the close physical proximity to Asia over other world powers. Wolves in other world powers may be more inclined to know differing languages, though.

For example, Oceania may know Malay, English, and/or different Asian languages, but wolves in the Territory of Amerigo are more likely to know English, French, and a wide, wide variety of second or third languages. This is because after helping Oceania clean its oceans of Monikker when the pandemic was eradicated, the Territory of Amerigo sent wolves to many different world powers for assistance, leading them to have great access to native/official Scandinavian, European, Asian, and Oceanic languages in the end.

If you’re confused about accents and dialects please just read chapter two.

 

GOVERNMENT

So, here’s the thing. Many fics and stories I read with alternate universes generally keep it simple when it comes to a government created for this new universe. Often times they will make one distinct branch of government that rules all with (sometimes) smaller branches.

Yes, well, that’s boring to me.

Government’s complicated in real life and so it’s gonna be complicated in this universe, but let me break it down for you:

(Each world power’s government works the exact same way)

In this story there are no rulers. No presidents, kings, queens, emperors, dictators, or heads of council. Each world power is a _democracy_ that- within each individual province- has an elected governing panel called the Provincial Council. There is a world wide governing body called the International Council.

 

Let’s break this down further:

Each world power does not have one Council. For example, the Council of the Collective Alliance of Asia is not a thing. Each of its provinces have its own council. So in the Jurisdiction of United Europe alone there is the Provincial Council of Germany, Provincial Council of Poland, Provincial Council of the Netherlands, Provincial Council of Switzerland, Provincial Council of Austria, and the Provincial Council of France.

The International Council is made up of 1 representative from each provincial council. So the Jurisdiction of United Europe would have six representatives at a meeting of the International Council, because the JUE has six provinces that each have its own council.

 

Aaaaaaand now our last subtopic: Government Agencies and Organizations.

In the US we have two main government agencies that deal with crime and safety: the CIA and the FBI, also known as the Central Intelligence Agency and the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Both of these agencies have headquarters in Virginia/Washington D.C. and branches (or _offices)_  in different states, but no other countries in the world employs the CIA and FBI. They all have their own individual organizations. You can use this information when thinking about government agencies/organizations in this universe. There are different government agencies within each world power just like how there are different government agencies within each country in real life.

 

Government Agencies/Organizations by World Power:

 **Jurisdiction of United Europe** : Domestic Authoritative Agency (DAA), and the Military of the Jurisdiction of United Europe.

 **British Territory** : National Service of the People (NSP), and the British Military.

 **Scandinavian Affiliation:** National Intelligence Agency (NIA), and the Scandinavian Military.

 **Oceania International Union:** Oceanic Federal Commission (OFC), and the Oceanic Military.

 **Territory of Amerigo:** Bureau of Security (BS) ((Hahaha)), and the Military of the the Territory of Amerigo.

 **Collective Alliance of Asia:** Societal Welfare Association (SWA), and the Asian Military.

 

*Wolves can work for an agency/organization of a world power that is not their own.

*You probably don’t need to care about any of these agencies/organizations with the exception of the NIA of Scandinavia (because Harry worked for them) and the Military of the Jurisdiction of United Europe (because Zayn worked for them).


	6. The Officers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis’ actions catch up with them, and they try whatever necessary to keep the consequences at bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all. To my beta: Aly, you're a doll and you’ve got unmatched opinions. Also, finals just finished up for me. Yay.   
> Phia

When we returned inside after our little excursion outside the store, I was painfully aware of the fact that Harry’s scent clung to me the same way my clothes did. My inner omega simultaneously preened at the alpha smell drenching me and also hated the idea of it. You could thank James for that mental divide.

Once we’d walked the stairs back up to the omega den, it very quickly became obvious that less omegas than before were wandering the hidden section of the upstairs. Guess the time for late breakfast had passed. Niall’s scent still lingered in the kitchen if I really tried pick it up, but it seemed as though he’d left the area as soon as Harry and I had. Zayn and Liam’s scents were long gone as well, and when Harry saw me sniffing the air he said they had probably gone to their part of the second story to get ready to run the store during business hours. They were supposed to be opening in twenty minutes.

We stood in the doorway to the kitchen, just silently watching the occasional straggling omegas filter through and grab things from the pantry or fridge. They went about their business would a second glance our way, completely impartial to us, without a care in the world about either of our presences.

It took me a moment of simply watching the different omegas walking around the den to put my finger just on what felt so weird about the entire situation. Besides, you know, the obvious tension now between Harry and I.

It was the fact that all of these omegas were completely fine with Harry being in the den. From what I could assume, the majority of the omegas here were running from their alphas, and with good reason. Sure, there were omegas housed here that had been on the streets for alpha-unrelated issues, but life in the slums or bad parts of cities was especially tough on omegas. I wouldn’t be shocked if every omega here was wary around alphas.

So, how were all the omegas here so uncaring about Harry’s presence? When omegas got out of bad situations, the first place that they decided was safe became theirs. When something like alphas threatened the security of that safe space, it wasn’t uncommon for omegas to lash out and become violent, or worse completely withdraw from their safe space and start over somewhere else- an emotionally taxing endeavor.

So how was Harry here, causing absolutely no problems, when so many omegas had emotional trauma relating to alphas?

We were stood in the wide doorway of the kitchen, both of us facing into dining area with Harry behind me. There was only a couple inches of space between my back and his chest.

I turned around, having to take a step back to avoid running face-first into him.

“Omega?” he asked, eyebrow raised. Harry had been ungodly attractive when I saw him in the kitchen this morning and had only got better looking and smelling to me after our excursions outside. Damn, he was still hot as hell, and it made me inhibitions falls- which was not good for me.

“How are you here?” I blurted. Well. I probably could’ve worded that better.

“Oh,” Harry said, and he raked a hand through his shaggy curls. _Damn_ \- I need to pull myself together. “The National Intelligence Agency gives me a month’s time off every year,” he continued, “I chose to spend it visiting old friends- Zayn and Liam are not the only ones.” I was so lost in his strong gaze that I nearly missed his left eyelid twitching. It flicked a lightbulb on in my head, and I was pulled from the magical forest Harry’s eyes held. 

 _That was Harry’s tell_.

Why was he lying to me?

 “Oh,” I said, dropping the topic though I hadn’t gotten the answer I’d wanted. If Harry wasn’t here visiting, then why was he here? And if he was here visiting but wasn’t here from the time off he was given, how was he here? Was he lying about both how and why or just one?

“Are you okay?” Harry’s voice shocked me from my pondering, and I flinched back from him. “Omega?” He sounded concerned now. Great.

“I’m sorry, I was just thinking,” I shook my head at myself. I could imagine that I didn’t sound very convincing- I was still intoxicated by Harry’s very presence and my own speculations- and Harry unconsciously angled his body around mine. He was trying to shield me from everything around us, trying to keep me safe from whatever was making me act strangely; it was an instinct ingrained in every alpha, but especially prominent in some.

There was a fine line between an alpha acting protectively of an omega they were friends with and an alpha acting protectively of an omega their inner alpha felt a need to protect. An instinct like this one being pulled to the forefront of controlling Harry’s actions meant that he was acting because of the second situation- the one in which his inner alpha felt a need to protect me. That implied a deeper affection than a platonic friendship entailed, and my inner omega knew this. And Great Warrior, did it make him preen.

“I- uh,” I backed up half a step from him; being as close as we were was only going to make my inner omega have more control over my actions than my brain, and that wouldn’t be the best for the awkward, confusing stage of friendship we were in currently. But moving backwards only pushed me back into the door jam, creating a not so excellent sound of the hard bone of my spine contacting with the wood of the door through my shirt. Harry’s eyes widened instantaneously, and his hands shot outward from his body, wanting to check whichever part of my body had been hurt. He steeled himself quickly though, pinning his arms back against his side.

He was fighting a raging battle with his instincts and his inner alpha, and it was an unsurprising realization to understand that he would not react this way to just any omega friend of his possible being hurt.

That reaction entailed something deeper emotionally and psychologically between us, something I was not ready or willing to acknowledge just yet.

“I’m fine,” I said immediately, but Harry’s reaction had my inner omega divided once again. On one hand, he wanted Harry to keep his distance like he was; my inner omega was recognizing that I was not ready to form any kind of emotional relationship with Harry despite both of our instincts encouraging such a thing. On the other hand, however, he wished Harry would hold me to him and check to see if I was truly fine with his large hands.

The mental divide had me feeling crazy.

Eventually the rational part of my inner omega won out, and I decided I needed to clear my head a minute, get out of the close proximity we were in.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” I muttered, and I walked out of of the kitchen doorway swiftly. A heavy sign found its way to my ears as I strode off, but I didn’t stop; if I stopped that meant that I was willing to give up the sensible thing to do because an alpha was unhappy, and I gone through much more in my life to ever be that kind of omega.

I had to do what was right for _me._ Harry made me irrational, and that wasn’t good for me. I had to keep a level head.

I found a bathroom just down the hall from Niall and I’s room, and pulled the door open. It was dark inside, the curtain shutting out the little light that would come through on a cloudy, rainy day like this. Liverpool had a lot of these days. I flicked on the light.

A dual shower/bath was closest to the door on one side of the room, and parallel to that were cabinets stretching to the ceiling, presumably holding towels and toiletries. There was a large mirror that spanned the length of the wall above two sinks just past the cabinets, and a toilet was behind a half wall after the shower. The walls were tiled in white rectangles, the counter tops of the sink a sleek gray, and the floor was done in black stone triangles zig-zagging across the room. It was beautiful; I was quickly coming to learn that this omega den was of high quality 

Where did Liam and Zayn find all the money to do something like this?

I stared at myself in the mirror, and it was… humbling. In the time since I’d arrived to Rhode Jewelers in the pouring rain, my hair had dried into a fluffy mess, and my lips had become cracked and dry. My eyes looked tired- just _tired_ \- and the bags underneath them only enforced that idea.

I was the opposite of a sight for sore eyes, and yet I couldn’t find it in me to care. Who the hell was concerned with what I looked like? If omegas were supposed to be worried about what alphas and other omegas thought of them, well, I guess I just wasn’t your average omega, then.

But I suppose that’s already been made clear.

 I would’ve liked to feel a bit more myself though, and just the thought of steam and scalding water rinsing away the chronic cold of Liverpool had me itching to take off my clothes. The knob had been turned to the highest setting and the curtain pulled across the shower within within a minute.

I rifled through the cabinets as the water warmed, and found just about a million different body washes, soaps, shampoos and conditioners inside- oh, and an unopened toothbrush. I brushed my teeth with the blue toothbrush as I sorted through the body products, eventually settling on anything that even vaguely resembled the smell of warm white chocolate. Not my natural scent, but anything relating to my mother had always been a comfort to me, and omega comfort was something that I sort of needed right then.  

I put the products in the shower and shucked off my clothes, throwing my toothbrush on the sink alongside a towel once I’d finished brushing my teeth. And then I just stared at myself for a few moments.

My naked body loomed in the fogged mirror in front of me, and I was grateful that I could not see every detail of myself from the steam in the air. Even through the blur of the mirror I could make out the sharpness of every part of my torso, the soft squish that was characteristic of omegas nowhere to be found. I could see the imperfection in every line, and yet I did not care.

Those imperfections make me who I am.

My imperfections are why I was not willing to be submissive to an alpha that abused me. My imperfections are why I was not willing to let myself become an omega that I did not want to be. My imperfections are why I do not need an alpha to be happy, to be safe, to be complete.

My imperfections are why I am free when I could be broken in James’ bed right now. 

I turned away from the mirror and climbed into the shower. It was habit, completely unconscious actions when I cleaned my body. I didn’t think about it- in fact, I didn’t think about anything. For once, I just didn’t think. I let myself feel the warmth of the water, the gentle scratch of the washcloth, the ridges of the scars on my thighs. 

And when I was done, I got out of the shower and dried myself off. And I did it without overthinking every move I made.

Once I dressed myself in the pajamas that I still did not the origin of, I left the bathroom. God, I needed some fresh air. I just needed a second to bask in the cold, drizzly air of Liverpool now that I had relieved myself of it completely. Yes, I know- I can never settle on one feeling. I’ve always been that way.

I made my way through the den- not spotting Harry anywhere, might I add- and got to the staircase to the office. The walk down the stairs was in darkness, and I slid my hands down the walls on either side of me as the bottom of the steps drew closer. I slid the wall panel aside once I’d gotten to the end of the stairs, and I just stood in the hidden entryway to the office. It was quiet. I’d expected to hear some noise coming from the show floor of the store- customers chatting, Liam or Zayn ringing up purchases. But it was quiet though.

Again, odd. 

I left the panel open behind me as I stepped cautiously over to the closed door of the office that lead to the show floor, even my breathing low and quiet. When I was about two feet from the door I still couldn’t hear anything, and I momentarily wondered if the store was even open, but Harry had said it was opening in about twenty minutes over forty-five minutes ago.

I closed the gap between myself and the door and pressed my ear to it. Holy Mothers, I felt ridiculous. Maybe there wasn’t any noise because there just weren’t any customers in the store. Maybe Zayn and Liam were opening late. Maybe-

“Officers, I’m sorry, but these accusations are completely unfounded. Why would we be housing omegas here?” Oh, no. “My mate is pregnant- it’s not like we have much space or money to be wasting on homeless whores who don’t know how to respect their alphas.”

Someone had tipped off the police that there was an omega den here. Had someone seen Harry and I this morning?

“We got anonymous reports-” anonymous my ass- “that there were unfamiliar omegas going in and out of this storefront quite often,” an unfamiliar voice said, and my eyes clenched shut. For once I was thankful that Harry’s scent still clung to me- even after my shower- because my scent would undoubtedly be spreading from distress right about now.

“Unfamiliar omegas?” I heard Liam scoff, “This is a _storefront_ \- you just said it yourself. Of course there are going to be unfamiliar people coming in and out of here.” There was small pause. “Actually,” Liam went on, “There would be unfamiliar omegas in here right now if you hadn’t had me stop running my business just so we could have this conversation.”

I held my breath waiting for a reply.

“Mr. Rhode-” Liam’s fake name surprised me a moment- “We’re getting reports of omegas coming in and out of here at all hours of the day- inappropriate and unexplainable hours. In fact, we got a report of an unknown omega _and_ alpha coming out of this store early this morning- _before_ you opened for business- and then returning back inside.”

Shit. Why had I done something so stupid? I was smarter than that- I had never put myself into such a potentially dangerous position in all the time I’d been running from James- except for, you know, basically every time I’d been in public with Harry.  

“Tall, brunet alpha and small, brunet omega?” Zayn asked. There was no response; I assumed the officers had nodded.

“That was our good friend Harry and his omega David They’re courting.”

I was so surprised by Liam using my fake name that I nearly missed him referring to me as Harry’s future mate, though I knew he was just trying to make his lie as believable as possible. An alpha and an omega that were courting was the easiest explanation for any way Harry and I could have been acting outside the store.

An alpha and omega were fighting outside your store this morning. _Oh, they’re going to mate soon. You know how it is._

An alpha and omega were tenderly embracing outside your store this morning. _Oh, they’re going to mate soon. You know how it is._

The courting explanation covered all the bases.

“Would we be able to speak with them?” one of the officers asked, and my throat constricted momentarily. I could lie my ass off to police, to alphas, to omegas, to judges, lawyers- whoever and wherever, it didn’t matter. But pretending to be somebody’s impending mate was a large task to take on; courting couples acted in extremely defined, specific ways that were characteristic to them.

This was not a good idea.

“Of course,” Zayn said, and my heart took off. “I’ll go get them,” he continued, and for a moment of panic I wondered if he was going to use the hidden staircase before pulling myself together and realizing he wouldn’t be able to use a staircase that nobody was supposed to know existed. I heard his footsteps go into a different direction, and my fingers gripped at the door in front of me as I swayed on my feet.

This wasn’t going to be easy.

Courting was a sacred ritual between alphas and omegas with steps involved that were to be followed closely and not overlooked in the smallest of capacities. A proposal was the initiation of the courting rite.

In some cultures there were to be two separate proposals on behalf of the alpha- but in a society like that of British Territory, only one was seen as necessary in the eyes of the Elements and Great Warrior. That was the proposal to the omega’s parents or caretaker. That proposal was needed- if that step of the courting process was skipped, your bonding was seen as doomed and unblessed. There were special cases in which that step could be overlooked however; for example, if the parents of the omega were deceased then the courting process was to move on without the parental permission, and in that situation personal permission from the omega was obligatory. However, those cases were rare.

That proposal was not often utilized by alphas- the proposal to receive the omega’s personal permission. If the parents were to grant permission for an alpha to court their son or daughter, then despite whatever the omega individually wanted the courting was to proceed.

Parental permission was imperative; omega permission was a courtesy.

There were to be specific acts followed out then, in respect and honoration of the Elements and the Great Warrior. Every act and individual ritual that to be followed in courting was done with the intention of strengthening the connection between two wolves prior to their actual bonding, and it was oftentimes said that you could judge the success of a bonding from the way an alpha and omega acted together during their courting.

Pretending to be a courting couple was no small endeavor.

I stood in silence as I thought all of this over, completely immobile in front of the office door with no idea how much time had passed since Zayn had left to retrieved Harry and I. What was I doing? They were going to be looking for me, and I was standing here, freaking out.

There was a time and a place for panic, and it was definitely not now.

I turned and sprinted up the hidden stairs as quickly and quietly as I could, having to run back down the steps when I realized that in my rush I’d forgotten to pull the wall panel back in place. 

Eventually making it up to the den, I threw the door open, not expecting Zayn and Harry to be right in front of me.

“Louis, thank the Elements, we didn’t- what we you doing down those stairs?” Zayn’s worry about the entire situation radiated off him in waves, and I was thankful that his scent didn’t give away his feelings- Liam’s still enveloped him completely. Only another omega could pick up on his feelings without his smell accompanying them. 

“I-” how was I going to explain this? “I heard it,” I eventually settled on, “I have to pretend to be Harry’s mate, don’t I?”

The alpha didn’t look surprised or offer any response, and I figured Zayn had already explained what was going on to him. Zayn nodded with a sigh. “ _Soon to be_ mated, yes. I’m sorry- there just wasn’t another excuse that would be able to keep everyone safe when Liam and I didn’t know what happened between you two outside.”

I didn’t respond. Didn’t know how.

“It’s alright,” Harry said, “we’re the ones that got you into this mess in the first place; the least we can do is help clean it up.”

Well. He’s not wrong.

“Okay, then,” Zayn said, and it was only then that I saw his hands cradling his stomach. If Harry and I didn’t make this believable, if the officers didn’t take us to be a courting couple, then Zayn would be having his baby in prison. “Let’s go face the music,” he said, and I followed Zayn and Harry through the omega den to a door I had never seen before, one that lead inside their section of the upstairs.

“This way, omega,” Harry said, and when he grabbed onto my hand to lead me through Zayn and Liam’s dark living space I just barely controlled my flinch. Eventually we came to a staircase- again, one I’d never seen before- and we walked down, Zayn in front and me taking up the rear.

The bottom of the stairs was in a small alcove that obscured us from view from where Zayn and the officers were still speaking in quiet voices. Just a few steps further and we’d be in complete view, no mess ups, no mistakes, no room for error. Either Harry and I made this an Oscar-worthy act or all of us were going to jail for the illegal harboring of missing omegas. 

Holy shit. I was _not_ ready for this.

I squeezed Harry’s hand like my life depended on it, and we walked out from obscurity. Everyone’s eyes were on Harry and I- even Liam, whose gaze could hardly ever be torn from his mate.

Liam and the two uniform clad officers- both alphas, naturally- were stood in an aisle that two large glass cases formed, all three looking wary. For the officers, I think they were a bit wary of Liam, obviously willing to do anything to keep his pregnant mate safe, and now Harry, who had made himself as tall and broad as possible when we entered the room. He had a grimace on his face that hadn’t been there before, and I wondered what facade he was going to put on since mine had to match his perfectly. 

“This is our good friend Harry,” Liam introduced as we took our places beside him and Zayn, stood across from the officers, “and his soon-to-be mate, David.”

 “Nice to meet you,” Harry grunted out with sarcastic undertones, and his drastic change in personality shocked me for a second. As he spoke he pulled me under his arm and securely wrapped his fingers around my waist, unabashedly beginning to scent me.

Ah. So Harry was going for the possessive, over-top-top protector of an alpha act. I could work with that.

“Pleasure,” I murmured out in a whisper, a foreign shy smile on my lips as I dug myself further into Harry’s side. The movement made me feel small and watched in a room with so many alphas, but with Harry wrapped around me I felt equally invulnerable. I wrapped both my arms around Harry’s torso looked up at the officers innocently from under my lashes. It seemed a little much, but hey- we weren’t going for subtlety here, and I was confident we could and would ham it up even more.

“Well, hello there, sweetheart,” one of the officers replied, even going to the lengths of crouching down slightly to look directly at me. Fuck my tiny height, but more importantly _fuck that sexist alpha bastard_. I fought to keep the smile on my face, and the officer kept flicking his gaze between my face and Harry’s.

“I’m Officer Michael Carson, but you can call me Officer Mikey, little one,” he continued, and I was grateful for Harry’s bruising grip on my waist when my head began to spin at his address. Holy Elements- I know how fucking awful alphas are better than anyone, but do alphas really have such a little amount of respect? Not just for omegas, but also their alphas. Harry was supposedly my alpha; was this officer truly ignorant or did he just not care how insulting he was being to Harry by treating his omega in such a way?  

Apparently Harry- or well, the character Harry was playing- didn’t take kindly to the insult.

“Can _my omega_ and I help you? We were trying to sleep when we were interrupted,” Harry grumbled, and he brazenly scented me further. I shrunk even further into Harry’s side, squeezing where my arms wrapped around Harry.

 _Officer Mikey_ ’s smirk was wiped off his face, and he rose from where he was crouched a bit in front of me in response to Harry challenging his… _alpha-ness_.

“Yes,” he just about spat, “We have a couple questions about your presence here.”

The other officer- the one that wasn’t insulted by Harry’s act of possessiveness- stepped forward and cleared his throat, unsuccessfully trying to wipe the tension from the air. “How long have you been maintaining a residence at this location?” he asked.

Before anyone could respond I nuzzled my face against Harry’s chest, a classic trait of tired courting or mated omegas, and Harry responded instantly. He brought his other arm across his body and held my waist just above where he was still holding with his other hand; we were completely wrapped in each other. I closed my eyes from my place against his chest, trying to seem just fucking _exhausted_.

It was a good move on our part. Most alphas didn’t want to interfere when with a sleepy, cuddly omega in peace when that omega was not their own, even if they were sexist fuckwads from hell. Acting tired could get them to leave us alone quicker.

“Forgive me,” I murmured, keeping my voice high-pitched and soft, “I’ve been sick the past few days and haven’t slept well.” My eyes remained closed and I rubbed my face against Harry’s chest, reveling in the feeling of his shirt’s warm fabric against my skin. _Damn_ , he smelled good.

“Don’t apologize,” Officer Michael said, voice notably less hostile than it had been when Harry had “challenged” him, “we’ll try to get this over quickly so you can get off your feet." 

Perfect.  

“How long ago did you arrive at this residence?” the second, unaffected officer asked. I kept nuzzling into Harry’s chest, committed to riding this sick, tired facade out as long as necessary.

“Two days,” Harry grunted, and that particular choice was fine by me. After all, I had arrived two days ago, though I wasn’t certain whether or not Harry had arrived on the same day or not; I’d been unconscious for my first night, the entire second day, and part of this morning. 

It was hard to wrap my head around the fact that I’d only arrived at the den two days ago when so much had happened. I’d fainted twice, learned quite a bit of interesting information about Harry, and had quite the exchange with him just a few hours ago. How had that happened over the course of only two days and a night?

“And what was the purpose of your stay here?” I heard the sound of pencil scratching paper, and rolled my closed eyes. Was the officer really writing the things we said down in a notepad? What was this- the movies?

“Just visiting our friends,” Harry said, and I let my eyes flutter open a bit before closing them soundly again. My miniscule action had not gone unnoticed by either of the officers.

“The omega is sick?” Officer Michael asked, and I internally smiled at the barely noticeable rumble in Harry’s chest. This whole “overprotective” thing was getting to be just as over-the-top as my “tired, sick, sympathy-earning omega” thing.

 “ _My_ omega is sick, yes.” At his own words Harry clutched me closer to him, and I took the opportunity to rise up on my tiptoes a little to put my head in his neck.  

“If he was sick, why would you allow him outside this morning?” Officer Mikey continued, and I grimaced openly at “allow,” grateful my face had been efficiently hidden in Harry’s neck.

 “How dare you,” Harry said, voice in a deadly tone.

 My eyes flew open and I fought to keep my body unrigid in my supposed alpha’s hold. I was supposed to be comforted by all of Harry’s actions as a courting couple, even if it went against everything in my instincts not to be alarmed by his threatening tone.

 “ _How_ _dare you_ accuse me of not being able to care for my omega.” Harry’s voice dripped venom, and I was certain he’d be growling at the officers if I hadn’t been pressed against his chest. No one had been implying Harry was incapable of caring for me, even Harry knew that, but acting this way was a surefire way to get the officers to leave us alone quickly.

 “Sir, I apologize on behalf of my colleague. Surely that came out wrong, but-”

“My omega had a _fever_ ,” Harry bit out, acting every bit the possessive, overzealous alpha he was trying to be. “He wanted to be with me, but my body heat and his own were too much for him-” the silence in the room at Harry’s snapping words was deafening- “and the cold air was the only way to cool him down while letting him. So I am _very sorry_ if keeping my omega comfortable wasn’t caring for him to your standards.”

No one spoke. No one. Every single wolf in the room knew that this conversation was over, that there was no way we were going to return to the topic of just what Harry and I were doing at Zayn and Liam’s residence now.

“Alpha,” I whispered into Harry’s neck, certain everyone could hear, “can we please go back to bed now? I feel worse.”

When Harry spoke his voice has dropped all traces of anger, was completely soft and gentle for “his precious future mate.”

“Yes, of course. Let’s get you back upstairs, omega,” and he waited for no permission from anyone. I dug my arms out from around his torso and put them around his neck, and with eyes still closed and head resting once again on Harry’s chest, I was swept off my feet the alpha bridal-style and carried out of the room.

I didn’t deviate from my position in Harry’s hold in the slightest until I was sure we were out of view of the officers, and even then all I did was open my eyes. We- well, _Harry_ walked further into Zayn and Liam’s dark living quarters, down a long hallway, one we hadn’t walked down earlier when Harry, Zayn and I had been making our way through.

I did not question him, but I was still shocked when I realized just where he was taking me.

Harry turned left when we were about halfway down the hallway, right into a doorway for a bedroom, and I stiffened in his hold. The scent of the room was absolutely, one hundred percent _Harry_ without any hint of someone else, a real accomplishment when staying in an apartment with a pregnant omega and a protective alpha like Liam.

I was rigid in Harry’s grasp, and only became more stiffer when Harry walked inside and closed the door behind us with his foot.

His bedroom was dark with only a soft blue light filtering through the curtains.

Why in the Great Warrior’s name had Harry taken me into his room?

“Omega,” Harry said, voice quieter even than mine had been downstairs, “I know this is inappropriate and you have no obligation to do so-” we were standing at the foot of his large bed, both of us just staring at the neatly folded blankets and fluffed pillows- “But I would greatly appreciate it if you would stay with me now.”

What the- what’re you-

What _?_

“ _What_?” I was appalled, and even if I hadn’t felt it myself I would’ve been able to hear it in my voice.

“After everything this morning and this afternoon and only a few minutes ago… my inner alpha would be much more at peace if you would stay with me now.”

What the _fuck_?

I mean, of course my inner omega would’ve been more comfortable with this too, with the knowledge that no other omegas were around Harry and the smell of him on me and his large hands on my body, but this was, I mean, like, this was, _dude_ -

This was a lot.

“Harry, I- uh, I don’t-”

“You do not have to, omega,” Harry said, hand  unintentionally gripping tighter around where he held my thigh under my knee, “But I would greatly appreciate it if you would.”

I closed my eyes a moment.

I had a Great- that I had just pretended to be _courting with_ \- not only cradling me in his arms, but also asking if I would stay in his bed with him for the time being. This did not happen to people like me. This wasn’t real. This was insane. This was also not a time in my life in which my inner omega needed to get attached to anyone- especially an alpha.

And yet despite all of this, I found myself saying, “Yes.” It was quiet and breathy, and most surprisingly very certain. “I will stay with you.”

This wasn’t the smart decision. You could even argue that this wasn't the rational decision. But it was the best decision for me right then, and smart and best didn’t always match.  

Harry didn’t react at first, but after a moment of silence he put his knees on the edge of the bed and breathed out slowly and steadily through his nose, right against my neck. It was weirdly intimate, this entire thing, even if though all we were going to do was cuddle in the middle of the afternoon.

He lowered me gently, and once he’d let go I moved around on the bed until I was on my back with my head on the pillows, just watching Harry dominatingly kneel at the end of the bed.

Holy Mothers, nothing in my life had ever been this intimate or this hot. Because it was- hot, that is. Despite everything that had happened to me in my past when it came to interactions with alphas, I could appreciate the way everything Harry was doing made my inner omega feel. And that feeling was overwhelmed and cared for.

It was the _best_ kind of overwhelmed, though.

I had expected Harry to just position himself in front or behind me, so imagine my surprise when he started crawling up the bed until he was hovered above my body, only a few inches between every part of us. He was on his hands and knees, one leg on either side of my thighs and hands beside my head.

Holy _fucking shit_.

Never in my life had I felt protected or cared for by an alpha- and I had never needed to, either- but there were no other words to describe what Harry emanated towards me. He was _protection_ and _warmth_ and _care_ and _possession_ and _safety_ , and I was not used to those feelings.

I bit my lower lip between my teeth- an unintentional habit- and yet the effect it had on Harry had me wishing I could do it again and again just to watch him shudder and have to close his eyes at the sight once more.

“Omega,” he whispered, eyes blinking open slowly, “Do you not know what you do to me?”

Well. That’s not what I was expecting.

I shook my head at him, omega innocence peeking through, “What do I do to you, Harry?”

Within seconds our positions were switched, now with me held securely onto Harry’s chest while he laid on his back. I melted into it, despite everything inside screaming to resist an alpha manhandling me. Before James I’d always thought that I’d enjoy being caringly pulled this way and that by an alpha.

Perhaps I’d been right.

“Omega-” fuck, I was getting more and more partial to Harry calling me that the way he did- “You make me wish I could do far more things than this.”

Tell me, dear Elements- who exactly is this alpha and what other planet did he come from? And why did I let him take down every wall I’ve built so easily?


	7. The Bedroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis get to know each other a little better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the fuck is up, y'all. I'm here, I'm acne-clear and I'm ready to fucking party. Let's get this 2019 bullshit started while we're all still filled with the happy hormone.   
> Phia

It was pressure. A lot of pressure, pushing down right on my chest, and it was terrifyingly familiar. James was here- how had he gotten here? How had I somehow found myself in his choking, suffocating grip once again? How had he gotten here?

The pressure was getting worse.

It was steady, unyielding, and it felt like everything I’d ever feared and everything I’d ever run from all in one experience. It was characteristically _James_.

I couldn’t breathe. My eyes were closed- I was in darkness, and I was being suffocated.

I needed to get out of this. I needed to help myself; surely no one else was going to. I could only imagine the horrors I would be subjected to when I opened my eyes. And yet I did it anyway.

I did not know what I was expecting, but this was not it.

I did not expect a heavy, warm, _sleeping_ alpha to be the thing I opened my eyes to, to be the thing on my chest suffocating me. I did not expect to be in that alpha’s darkened bedroom, tangled up with him under a pile of blankets. I did not expect the scent that permeated the air- a pure, absolute _alpha_ scent- to be quite so overwhelming and comforting at the same time, and also not be James’ in the very slightest.

I did not expect that alpha to be Harry.

I did not expect him to wake up just as I was beginning to calm down.

“Omega?” His voice was hoarse and concerned, “Are you okay? You smell upset.”

I did not respond. Only moments ago I had thought that James was killing me, murdering me in cold blood, and now I was finding comfort in the alpha on top of me.

“Have I done something?”

It appeared to be only then that Harry realized the position we were in. His entire body was on top of mine- a show of protection and dominance that seeped through him in his sleep- and my open legs he laid between were wrapped around his back. It was a very close position- in every meaning of the word- and it would’ve been something sensual had it not happened unintentionally.

“I am sorry- please forgive my actions. I did not mean to cause you any unrest, omega.”

Harry reached behind him and pulled the blankets off of us, and tried to lean up as to move away. He was trying to give me space I didn’t need, didn’t want.

“Harry,” I whispered, a louder volume too much for the small, dark space we were sharing, “Stop.” But he didn't. He kept leaning backward and up until none of his weight was blanketing me anymore and my legs were forced to fall away from around him; he was kneeling, making a move to get completely off the bed.

Now my inner omega was upset with him. After everything that had happened today- after the lie and the characters we’d played and the bed we’d slept in together and the way he’d held me and I’d held him… him leaving now was an insult to my omega.

“Alpha,” I whispered, and he froze in his spot, “You don’t need to get up. I don’t want you to leave.”

He didn’t move for a second, simply peering down at me through darkness. He seemed to be contemplating something, something important, and I wondered just why he was so deeply conflicted. And then he reached behind him with a hand, and I figured that he’d decided to get up in spite of everything I’d said. But his hand merely gripped the fluffy blanket he’d thrown off, and he laid back down between my legs, his head on my chest and the blanket back over top of us. In a show of the truthfulness behind the words I’d spoken, I wrapped my legs around his waist once more and locked them just above the dip in his back, and we were both still for a moment until he shifted upward a little, propped himself up on his elbows, and put his head in my neck.

And he began to scent me. Again. For what had to be the billionth time in the past week or so. In all honesty, I had never seen an alpha scent an omega they were not mated to so much in all of my life. Liam scented Zayn seemingly just as much as Harry scented me, but they _were_ mates. Was it a Scandinavian thing? Were all Scandinavian alphas this way?

“Omega,” he said quiet and slightly muffled in my neck, “Did I hurt you? Is that why you were upset?”

Harry’s dark, long curls were soft against my neck and chin, and I found myself unconsciously nuzzling my cheek into them as he continued his scenting.

“No, Harry, you didn’t hurt me.”

“Then why were you uncomfortable? Your distressed scent was so overpowering that it woke me up.” As if to prove his own point, he expanded his scent further, trying to cover me in his smell just as much as I was his body and the blankets.

“It was just a memory,” I floundered for a minute, unsure of where to go until I settled on, “The feeling of you on top of me made me think of things that I’ve long left in the past- it wasn’t you, it wasn’t your fault, Harry,” I assured, but he went deep into thought once again at my words.

“I should have been more courteous of the things about you I do not know,” he eventually said, and I went to interject, to disagree, but he kept speaking. “I asked you to stay with me without even taking into account how uncomfortable it may have made you. I am-”

“Harry,” I cut him off, and he stopped talking. I wanted him to look at me though, wanted him to see the truth I was speaking in my eyes; I brought a hand up and gently tugged on his curls, and he brought his face out from my neck to look at me. His green eyes were apologetic, and there wasn’t a need for them to be.

When had we gotten so forward with each other? Even a few hours ago- I’m guessing, I have no idea what time of the late afternoon it might be- I was blushing and shocked and excited by just having Harry with me in his bedroom. Now we were in his bed together, him between my legs and me clinging to him, using my actions to convince him of my thoughts.

Things had really progressed quickly between us and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.

“Harry,” I repeated, and my fingers began to card through his curls; he leaned his head back into my palm, and I kept on with it, “You’re not acting like a bad person, or a bad alpha, or a bad anything. If something you did made me uncomfortable I would let you know- believe me.” There was a fleeting moment of silence on Harry’s end in which I feared he could not hear my sincerity, but then he began to run his nose along my jaw until I was so relaxed that my hand in his hair stilled and my legs around his waist loosened.

“When I imagine what your past is filled with… I find that I am both angered and greatly inclined to wrap myself around you and never let go. Everything in me wants me to hurt whoever could have hurt you and keep you safe all at once.”

“Whatever you can imagine,” I whispered, “Is far worse than what actually happened.” I did not know if that was a lie- it depended on whatever it was Harry imagined.

The alpha stopped tracing my jawline with his nose and leaned backward slightly to look me in the eye. “What happened to you, omega?”

Oh.

There was absolutely no way I was about to have this conversation with him.

“It’s not your concern, Harry. Just understand that I’m fine- I’m okay, really, despite whatever it is that’s happened to me.”

“Louis,” Harry murmured, and my name sounded foreign in his mouth, “You are the only omega I’ve seen that can completely defend themself against an alpha. I do not know another omega that understands their own body and their own methods of defense the way you do,” he paused a moment as a small smile worked its way onto his face, “I do not know another omega that has ever used car keys to blind someone before.” I grinned to myself a minute, and my gaze fell from Harry’s until he placed a hand on my cheek and turned me back to look at him. “But one doesn’t find themself capable of their own defense to such an extent without a reason for it.”

I rolled my eyes playfully, “Every omega on the streets picks up a little something here and there, Harry.”

His steely gaze was unwavering. “It pains me to know you have suffered, but not to know of what.”

I looked away from him once again, and this time I did not make eye contact with him even after he tried to turn my head that way. “What do you care?” My tone wasn’t sharp per say, but there was something lying just underneath the surface that made Harry start skidding his forehead back and forth against my cheekbone. “No alpha has cared about what happened to me before,” I went on, “You’re different, are you now?”

The energy between us changed, and while Harry didn’t stop his soothing face-rubbing, he did begin to speak in a sort of whisper that made me feel like I was being both entrusted with a secret and scolded very gently. “I do not know what Zayn has told you of _my_ past,” he paused a moment, dominance seeping out of his every pore, “But alphas like Liam and I are not of the same species as the British scum you are so well acquainted with.”

Huh. So it was a Scandinavian thing.

“So,  tell me then,” my voice was not softer, even less gentle than it had been moments before, “Tell me about your past first, since you’re so eager to hear about mine.”

My past was none of his business- it’s was no one’s business.

He breathed out steadily through his nose, and as his warm breath dusted the skin of my cheek we locked eyes. It was a bit too much; looking into the depths of each other’s souls as he readied himself to bear his to me.

I closed my eyes and began to run my hand through his hair again, and he laid his head against my throat. A soft rumble grew in his chest as I continued to card through his hair, and we laid in silence for a moment before he moved to wrap his arms around my waist, forearms between my lower back and the mattress; he was putting his body weight back on me for the first time since we’d woken up.

We were absolutely flush to each other, clutching as close as possible.

Apparently Harry was done being overly cautious with me now. It was hugely comforting actually- the warm, heavy weight of an alpha I sort of trusted on top of me. It made me feel invincible and _safe_ \- things that, while they were foreign to me, were immensely welcomed from Harry. Even if I was a little irked at him not letting my past lie in the past.

“I was born in a place called Abisko in Provincial Sweden,” he eventually began, lips brushing the hollow between my collarbones as he spoke, “Where my parents settled when my father was released by the Scandinavian military.”

I did not make a move to give any response to Harry, but he didn’t need one either. It was international, common-knowledge law: once a mated omega fell pregnant, their alpha was immediately released from their position if it was one within the military. An alpha could always return to their position later, and most did, but it was proven that omegas had worse pregnancies when their alphas were in potentially dangerous jobs. It upset them in their very core, in their very essence of being.

“My parents died when I was very young,” Harry went on, and I momentarily stopped my fingers’ movements in his curls before schooling myself and continuing. “I was placed with my uncle, my mother’s sister, and grew up in Keinovuopio- a tiny village. It is further north than Abisko; it is the northernmost district in the Province of Sweden. It is actually barely large enough to be considered its own district,” he laughed to himself, and I saw it in my mind- wood houses, snow covered streets, frozens lakes and streams, close-knit family and community. It sounded like a dream.

“My uncle was a military wolf herself,” he said, and I didn’t miss the ‘was,’ but I also didn’t interrupt. Harry didn’t seem like the type to openly share his history to others often, and I wasn’t about to fuck this up because I couldn’t hold my tongue. “She was tough,” he said, “She had never wanted children herself, and so she did not raise me like a pup. She raised me like I was already a wolf. She raised me to be capable, to be strong.”

It was no secret to me that parenting was never successful in all capacities. You could make a pup wildly independent, but then they might have trouble forming long lasting and meaningful relationships. You could make a pup retain a strong work ethic, but then they may put their duties ahead of themselves in a negative sense.

You can’t fucking win with parenting. The best solution is to just not have any pups.

“The earliest wolves can be recruited by either branch of the Scandinavian military is seventeen years old,” Harry said, “I was recruited at fifteen.”

Holy shit. “You were exceptional,” I blurted, fear creeping in that I had ruined the energy between us.

“An exception was made for me,” Harry amended, moving forward without change, and I wondered just where the distinction between my statement and his laid in his mind, “And I was placed in Skandivarg Corps.”

Gowolf. Britwolf. Aniawolf. Eurowolf. Niōkami. Skandivarg.

Three different languages, but each word was used for the same thing: identification. It became customary to use shorthand as easy identification after Monikker’s cleanup, as everyone generally looked and sounded much the same. Eventually the slang had turned mainstream when the International Council unanimously voted to integrate the words into their main military branch, making them all similar in name.

British Territory had Britwolf Corps, the Collective Alliance of Asia had Niōkami Corps, the Oceania International Union had Aniawolf Corps, and so on and so forth.

After the inserting of the shorthand in all six world powers, it was then mandated that all six militaries would all be structured the same way.

Each military would have two branches and two branches only- a corps and a federal organization. British Territory had Britwolf Corps and NSP, or the National Service of the People, but the organizations differed between world powers. Scandinavian Affiliation had the NIA, for example, the National Intelligence Agency. Corps fought wars, federal organizations dealt with problems on home soil that didn’t include any other world powers. Organizations made up the police and firefighter forces and were comprised of officers. The corps were not the same.

Inside corps themselves, there were three levels. The first, the bottom of the heap, was Force 1.

Force 1 employed omegas- nurses only, of course, and they were never allowed anywhere near the battlefield. They were stationed in an irrefutable safe and secure area in a warring province, and wounded soldiers were brought to them. Insulting, yes, but for the first century post-Monikker omegas hadn’t been allowed to hold any job within military or government, so I could suppose it was a win in some way.

Alphas in Force 1 were typically physically disabled in some way, shape or form while still serving their world power. Most alphas in British Territory wanted in and out of the military as fast as they could if that was the path they chose- and few did- but in other world powers it was different; in the Scandinavian Affiliation, for example, it was a cultural standard that alphas would serve until they literally could not- it was a sense of pride and morals for them. Being a member of the military was the highest honor in Scandinavia, though not so much in some of the rest of the world.

Force 2 was the first of the two alpha-exclusive forces, and was comprised of the bulk of soldiers in the military. In fact, there were so many people in Force 2 that they were separated into equal units of wolves- shipping all of any world power’s Force 2 to a war zone would mean dumping roughly 900,000 average soldiers into one area, which wouldn’t be useful in any scenario. So, yes- units. They made up the back line, and were placed in least dangerous situations when in a war zone. They were decent soldiers, you could say, but nothing compared to Force 3.

Force 3’s were dangerous. No matter if it was Gowolf Force 3 or Niōkami Force 3 or Skandivarg Force 3, each and every one of the soldiers in that force were… well, a force to be reckoned with. They were the smartest soldiers in the entirety of each of their world powers, the bravest, loyalist, most reckless. Even in world powers that didn’t generally see the military as a respectable profession, everyone could agree that Force 3 wolves were not to be treated with anything other. Because Force 3 was so highly regarded, because it was such a high honor and so exclusive, there was no need to break Force 3 into different units. They were all one medium-size group, one medium-sized, highly dangerous and extremely intimidating group.

“What force were you placed in?” I found myself asking before I could stop, and Harry paused a moment before responding.

“Force 3,” he said, and I was not surprised. At this point, nothing Harry had accomplished really surprised me anymore. I’d found from this conversation especially that he was one of those people that you could expect it from- greatness, that is. After all, he was a Great, so it was pretty fitting.

“I don’t know much about Skandivarg Corps, Harry,” I spoke, trying to be attentive to the conversation and laid back all the same, “But here it is very rare for a shiny, new, _young_ recruit to be placed in Force 3.”

He contemplated this a moment. “It is rare in Scandinavia, as well. I was told once in passing that I was the youngest inductee to Force 3 in Skandi history, but I am not sure if that is true.”

Well. Not much to say to that, really. It was probably true.

Harry continued on with his story. “My force was stationed in the northern provinces of the Collective Alliance of Asia almost immediately after my basic training concluded; it was towards the end of the Provincial Wars.”

Ah, yes. The Provincial Wars. A nasty bout of time in which the Provinces of Korea and Japan decided to try and exterminate the other while the Philippines and Indonesia did the same thing at the same time. The wars between Korea and Japan and the Philippines and Indonesia had been absolutely brutal- the _alliance_ of Asia had seemed anything but.

World powers kept secrets well, partially due to the dispersed nature between most of them, so no one really knew what had exactly spurred the raging battles between the provinces of Asia. There was speculation that a lack of uniformity had been to blame, more rumors likened the wars to a simple itching for indepence, yet others had deduced that the cause was unfit provincial government. Whatever it had been, it had made other world powers extremely concerned about their own internal struggles, and they all hurried to squash any idea of provincial independence before some province could take any notes from Asia.

“The end of them?” I asked. The final few months had been arguably the very worst of the wars. The Provinces of Korea and Japan were committing atrocities of war against each other- raping enemy omegas and slaughtering young pups as they slept in their beds. Indonesia and the Philippines found a way to put illegal drugs into each other’s water systems, leaving alphas impotent and omegas sterile.

All four had been attempting to bring back Monikker to use as their own personal weapon.

As though they had forgotten their history. As though the rest of the world did not matter anymore. As though all the work that had been put in for centuries to clean and rebuild the ruins Monikker left behind wasn’t a valuable lesson to learn from.

The Collective Alliance of Asia had been falling, and it was going to take the rest of the world down with it if no one intervened.

Non-broken world powers were assigned to assist the broken one in different provinces. Oceania International Union forces were sent alongside Gowolves to the Provinces of Indonesia and the Philippines, and they eventually drew 1 war out of 2 to a close, putting Indonesia and the Philippines back under solid, credible provincial government.

The Jurisdiction of United Europe, British Territory, and the Scandinavian Affiliation were left to send forces to Provincial Korea and Japan. It was far worse than anyone had expected it to be. The war between the northern Asian provinces carried on for nearly a year after the war between the southern two had ceased, and adding three other world powers to the mix only seemed to fan the flames of rage between them. At one point, British Territory had had to remove themselves from the conflict, as they were losing too many alpha soldiers too quickly and there soon wouldn’t be any to return to the workforce when the war ended.

“Yes,” Harry said, “We were stationed in a southern port of the Korean peninsula, where our advising British Force 2 unit would help us get the lay of the land. But when we touched down on Korean soil we were informed they had been ordered to return home; _the British are done fighting a war that isn’t there’s_ , is what we were told.

I cringed. It was partly because I had never heard Harry speak with abhorrence towards anything or anyone before, and partly because I’d felt the same way towards the British pulling out of the war. I’d been only in middle school or summat, hadn’t even fully understood the Provincial Wars at the time, and yet I still hadn’t agreed with our recusing of ourselves. It had made me feel disappointed, ashamed that we wouldn’t even fight the good fight like Scandinavia and Europe.

“We were good soldiers, able to fight and completely willing, omega, do not misunderstand what I am saying, but this was a new area we did not know- we were uninformed on vulnerable positions of our camp and of the best methods of attack for experienced Korean soldiers who wanted nothing more than for us to leave their land.”

I could not fathom how absolutely terrifying that must’ve been. My life was by no means a walk in the park, but other people had it much worse than me, that I would never dispute or discount. I opened my eyes- I had to. Images were filling my head of Harry weak and defenseless, and it made my stomach churn. I was met with Harry staring right back at me; he was no longer lying against my throat. He was staring into my eyes, gaze soft and gentle despite the topic we spoke of.

He took the hand of mine that rested in his hair and interlaced his fingers with my own, my eyebrows shooting up at the action. He skidded his thumb across my knuckles as he went on, “We were stranded, confused, in unfamiliar territory. The Koreans took it as an opportunity to get us rid of us, and they attacked. We lost three wolves that day: our force commandant, lieutenant and highest officer. The rest of us were rank one soldiers- there wasn’t an order of command anymore. We were all equals who all wanted the privilege of leading and directing other alpha wolves.”

I fought back a snort. Typical alphas, always making everything into a power struggle or competition.

“What did you do?” I asked, and Harry rested his head back on my chest as he squeezed my hand.

“There was another attack from the Koreans, and everyone was scrambled. There were about fifteen different men in our force trying to be in control, and it cost us eight more lives that day. I had been in the backgrounds most of the time, trying to do what was asked of me and not cause any more issues than there already were. One man though, a respected veteran in Force 3, took a liking to me. He did not care I was the youngest or least experienced. He listened the few times I volunteered ideas, and eventually he made other wolves to listen to me. A little more time passed, and eventually I had become the leader. This man had everyone listening to me- a true miracle- and I lead them.”

There was something in his voice that made me feel as though he wasn't telling me something. As though there was a big piece to this puzzle that I was missing. As though he was lying to me. Pity that he was lying on my chest again and I couldn’t see his left eye.

I probably would have given him some genuine omega-sympathy had I not gotten the feeling of dishonesty, but I had, and so I was instead characteristically blunt. “Who’s the guy? He dead?”

Harry went rigid at my questions, and I really _, really_ wanted to know why asking this in particular irked him so much. He’d been fine up until now, and he was starting to seem a little conspicuous. Elements, I thought I’d gotten past the phase of questioning all of Harry’s actions by now...

“I don’t know if he is anyone worth being remembered.”

Oh. Okay, just, uh- what the fuck?

I needed to leave this subject alone; it was weirdly ominous now, and that had never been my intention for this conversation.

“What was it like returning home?” I eventually decided to ask, the tensing in my shoulders that I hadn’t realized I’d been holding releasing at the easiness I thought this line of questioning would bring.

“Hard,” he said simply at first, and, well, I should’ve expected that this subject wouldn’t have much easiness to it. It didn’t exactly take a genius to guess that returning to the civilian world after having your life threatened every minute of every day would not be painless. He went on, “We had evaluations as soon as we stepped off the plane. Mental, emotional, physical. No one understood what had happened in Korea- none of us wanted to speak of it. We just wanted to leave the past behind and let our fallen comrades be dead in peace.”

It was very much the same in Britwolf Corps. Alphas were taught from a young age to be emotionally rock solid from the time they were born, to show even the slightest emotional vulnerability only to their mates- though even then some alphas still did not bear their soul to see. It was just another fucked up cultural thing that alphas were expected to just grit their teeth and push through.

“I was reported healthy when my evaluations were completed, but I was sent home for three weeks of  ‘precautionary rest’ anyway,” Harry said, and pictures of him fitting back into society perfectly after being in a war zone was a picture that, unfortunately, did not seem very likely to be accurate.

“Did you return to Keinovuopio?” I asked. “Did you go back and live with your uncle?”

“Yes, I went back to my uncle’s residence. It was not the same as it had been when I left it.” His voice held something that I did not fully understand, something that was mourning and regretful and accepting all at once.

“How long were you away?” I asked, and Harry’s hand began squeezing mine in a pattern before he replied. _Squeeze, squeeze, let go, squeeze. Squeeze, squeeze, let go, squeeze._

“I left Keinovuopio when I was fifteen, was in basic training for many months before I was officiated as a soldier. I was sixteen when I went to Korea, and I was seventeen when I went home. Two years does not seem like much until you feel it, omega, and see it and smell it. Wolves I knew from my teenage years had mated and gotten pregnant, a small child I babysat had died from a brain disease that had not been caught in time.” Harry stopped talking to simply scent me, and I let his alpha smell drench me without complaint, though I doubted I would ever have a complaint about it. It was soothing, and over far too soon when he began speaking once more. “Nothing was the same as how I had left it, and I did not cope with it easily. It felt like I had missed moments and lost time that I could never get back. It was very helpless, omega,” he said simply, and I clutched him a little closer to me at his words.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, and he took his head out of my neck where it had returned to look at me.

“Do not be sorry, omega. I made my own decisions, and I do not regret them. They lead me to right now with you.”

“Oh- thanks, Harry. I… I’m glad you do not regret…”

“My major life decisions?”

“Yes,” I breathed out with a chuckle, and he smiled with a tilt of his head before a more serious look overtook his face.

“Omega?”

“What?”

“May I kiss you?”

Did he really just ask that?

Everything in me screamed no _._ For once, I was actually able to put two and two together and completely comprehend that doing this would make my omega feel tied to Harry in a way that was not good for my life, my situation. Having an alpha drawn to me and being drawn to an alpha was exactly not what I needed right now- in fact, I needed to leave. Get out of this room, away from Harry and his intoxicating smell. It was clouding my judgement, and I had to escape it before I said- “Yes.”

Shit.

“I may?”

 _No_ , no- “You may.”

What the literal fuck. Why can’t you have your shit together and your omega under control for even one moment of your life, Louis? Seriously, you’d think with everything you’d gone through with alphas that-

And then Harry was there. Wrapped even more firmly around my body, lips pressed on my own, nose nudging my cheek.

It was nothing like our first kiss, that first time in the police station with Daniel standing a few feet away. That had been hot and frantic and _scared_. I hadn’t enjoyed it- hadn’t had been in the mindset to enjoy it or even think about enjoying it.

This time was gentle.

This time Harry held my face between his large, large hands like I was something precious that needed to be protected by him and him alone. This time Harry’s lips lead me from the get go, and there was not a mad dash to catch up to one another or stay in the lead. This time there were no strenuous circumstances, nothing pushing us to do this but our own desires, no matter how unbelievable or wrong they might be. This time I clutched Harry not out of fear he would leave, but simply because I wanted him closer in every sense of the word.

And… and… I couldn’t do this.

This would never work.

Harry was a Great and I was… who I was. Harry didn’t know of my past, and surely he wouldn’t want anything to do with me if he did. I was letting Harry think that this would work in some capacity, that he could make me happy and I could make him happy. I could never make him happy. I could never be the omega he needs and wants. I cannot put him before myself like a good boyfriend would; if I ever did that I would be making myself vulnerable to James.

James.

If anything, James was the one reason Harry and I would never work. He’d ruined me for other alphas, and he’d ruined other alphas for me. I couldn’t have an alpha on top of me while I slept, and I couldn’t have alpha hands on my shoulders or the back of my neck, and I couldn’t help but see every alpha I passed on the street as a threat.

I’m a broken, damaged omega and that’s okay. It is. Being broken or damaged is okay.

But Harry would never be able to pick up the pieces.

Harry would never be able to fix me.

And that is the truth of it.


	8. The Florist (And Plant Nursery)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry continue with their kiss and deal with the repercussions. Harry’s time in Liverpool begins to draw to a close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y’all. In case anyone cares, my writing schedule usually goes like this: two weeks actual writing, one week editing, and three days of fucking around before posting. :)  
> Phia

He was all over me, everywhere on my body, and it was magnificent. Perfect.

I had to stop it.

I turned my head away, but he misconstrued it and began kissing down my neck.

I tugged harshly on his hair, but he took it as encouragement.

I slid my hands down his neck and onto his chest to push him away, but he reveled in the feeling of my palms on his clothed pecs.

He moved his mouth back up to mine and I curled my lips into my mouth, but he thought I was just teasing him and tried to suck my bottom one out.

He stopped for a moment, just one second to catch his breath, but it was enough.

“Please stop.”

It wasn’t even a whisper with how low I said it. It wasn’t even a breath of air. It didn’t even hold the weight of a feather. But Harry flew backwards like I’d dumped a bucket of cold water down his back.

He reared back so fast and so far that he was out from between my legs and standing on the floor at the foot of the bed before I could blink. There was a cold feeling settling over my body where he’d been laid on me.

I curled up in a ball, back against the headboard and arms around my knees. I could barely bring myself to look at Harry.

His chest was heaving with heavy breaths. Mine was too; our gentle kiss had quickly spiraled out of control. His long curls were messy where I’d latched onto them, and his thin shirt and black jogging bottoms needed to be adjusted from where they’d been tugged out of place.

Through the darkness that hung between us I could make out his quickly changing expression. It had first been confusion, and then disbelief, and then devastation. He looked _devastated_ at what had just happened.

“My-my sincerest apologies, omega, I am so sorry,” he whispered. Harry looked positively horrified at himself, though he hadn’t done anything wrong. I’d liked the kissing, I’d liked everything he did, but I had to make it stop before either of us got any more attached.

“I am so sorry,” he repeated in his terrified whisper, “I do not know what happened. I-I was not thinking, I apologize. I… I will do anything-”

He was rambling like it was his fault. It wasn’t his fault, none of this was his fault, and yet I couldn’t find any words to speak to tell him so. I couldn’t explain any of this to him- I could not tell him of my past. There was nothing I could say; I just wished Harry knew that he wasn’t to blame.

I ran away from it all. Like a coward.

I scrambled off the bed, ran past Harry and his shattered expression and kept on going right out the door.

I locked myself in Niall and I’s room and did not come out.

 

…

 

The past two days had been absolute hell. Despite my reasoning behind cutting off Harry, my omega had indeed formed an attachment to him. He _really_ did not like our separation, and the pain he inflicted coupled with his incessant whining made for a very dreadful forty-eight hours.

The worst part of the entire ordeal of tossing and turning in my bed in pain, however, had to be the fact that my _body_ yearned for Harry, and that it knew Harry could take away the pain if he merely held me in his arms. Elements, I wanted him. I wanted his delicate touch and his soothing voice and his steady warmth and his infallible protection.

But wanting those things made me vulnerable, and despite wanting Harry, I wanted to be free from James even more. And that priority would never change.

At about the forty-seven hour mark the pain began to die down. Perhaps my inner omega had realized that I wasn’t going to seek out Harry anymore despite all his efforts, or perhaps forty-seven hours was the allotted time for any omega to mourn loss of contact with an alpha before they began to move on. Whatever it was, I was able to steadily stand on my feet for the first time in two days after those damn forty-seven hours passed.

I needed to fucking _pee-_  and not with the lovely Niall Horan supporting most of my weight as he helped pull me into the bathroom down the hall. Niall truly had been a blessing, doting on my every need as soon as he’d walked in on me crying into my pillow not long after I ran from Harry.

I shuffled away from my bed and steadied myself on the empty bed across the room when I swayed just a little- Niall was out working at a library a few streets over. Maybe I wasn’t _completely_ steady on my feet yet, but I was damn well getting to the bathroom on my own.

After I changed my clothes, that was.

My clothes were still drenched in Harry’s scent. Completely. 100% saturated. It had been counterproductive, since I’d been separating myself from Harry with the intention of losing my affinity for him, but sniffing his sugar, leaves and wood combo had been the only thing that made me bear the pain of being away from him. If I hadn’t I would’ve eventually cracked and ran back to him.

But the pain was done. I had made it through. My omega was no longer so upset at being away from Harry that it had to show me with bodily reactions.

So it was time to get rid of Harry’s scent.

My inner omega offered a half-hearted whine that quickly withered into nothing as I took my _Rhode Jewelers_ sweatshirt off over my head, and while I wished to hold it to my nose or perhaps just give it to Harry to scent, I wouldn’t.

I tossed it in the back of the closet.

Next came my pants and underwear, and once I found myself standing stark naked in the middle of Niall and I’s bright, sunlit room, I closed my eyes and went still. The air was cold against my skin, and I had goosebumps rising the longer I stood unmoving. But I needed to feel discomfort. I needed to feel discomfort that I could get rid of all by myself, just so I could feel less tied to Harry.

Great Warrior, how pathetic was I?

I let myself get nice and cold, and then I put on a pair of grey joggers- no underwear, cause why not?-  that I wasn’t completely sure weren’t Niall’s.

Better. I was less cold. I’d helped myself. I’d cared for myself and protected myself. This was who I was. Not some omega that relied on an alpha to take away their pain.

I grabbed a random long sleeved shirt from the closet and pulled it over my head as I stumbled my way down the hall and into the bathroom.

Another shower sounded good.  
Even if my clothes weren’t covered in _Essence of Harry_ anymore my skin and hair still was, which wasn’t great.

I didn’t let myself overthink it.

I used the toilet, brushed my teeth and shucked off the clothes I’d just put on and climbed in the shower.

I scrubbed every damn inch of my skin, and when I turned the water off and stepped back out, I felt pretty fucking-

Sad.

I rationally knew that what I was doing was for the best, but on another level I still wanted Harry despite the physical pain having passed. I wanted him in a romantic, _mate_ way, which was crazy seeing as we’d only known each other a week now, but it was true.

And I was going to get fucking over it.

You know what I needed? Cocoa. Niall had brought me endless cocoa over my two pitiful days spent whining over Harry when I’d said my insides were cold. Cocoa hadn’t helped that, but still.

I shuffled into the kitchen and bustled around, at one point bumping into an omega munching on a muffin. He struck up a conversation that I tried to let myself get lost in, mixing the powder with the milk in the mug and taking it with me as we ambled our way into the communal living room, chatter still flowing.

I needed to get Harry off my mind, and this omega- Jeremy was his name- was perfect.

“How long have you been here?” was one of the first questions out of my mouth after our butts had hit the couch.

“About a year,” he shrugged, “Not many people have been here that long- most’ve gotta’ keep moving when they’re on the run, you know?” Yes, I did know.

“What’s your… you know,” I wondered aloud, and he tossed the question back and forth in his mind as he swallowed a bit of his muffin.

“Grew up in the countryside- real backwoods, behind-the-times place. _Omegas are property, not people_ \- that type of place.” I nodded at him. That mindset was all too familiar to me, even if I didn’t grow up in the country. “My father’s best friend had a son who was willing to pay a hefty price for me, and my dad jumped at the chance. I got outta’ there first chance I had- that’s pretty much it.”

I looked into my cup and at the steaming dark milk, legs folded under me in a pretzel. I was leaning against the arm of the couch, back facing the arch-doorway to the living room. It was toasty and warm and being in the presence of Jeremy, even though I very minimally knew him and this was a tight topic to say the least, was nice. Being with other omegas really was a source of comfort if it was the right time and place.

“What about you?” Jeremy asked, and I stiffened. I really could not understand how some other omegas were so casual and easygoing when it came to talking about what’s happened to them- honestly, we were all in this den for a reason.

“Oh, I’m nothing special,” I lied through my teeth, “Mom and Dad were dicks so I left when I turned eighteen and got caught up in some nasty business. Came here to get away from it all.” Jeremy nodded in acknowledgement, and as silence fell between us for a few seconds I caught the sound of Zayn’s laughter in the kitchen. He’d filtered in when Jeremy and I had been leaving; he was making dinner for everyone.

“Zayn and Liam are very nice people,” I said, and Jeremy smiled at my sudden change in topic.

“Yes,” he said, “I’ve never met wolves who run an omega den be so wholly, personally committed to it- especially an alpha.” Guess I hadn’t been the only one to be shocked at Liam running a den, then.  

“Was it weird for you?” I asked, “Coming to a den that an alpha ran? Or, well, partially ran?”

Jeremy thought it over a second. “No,” he eventually shook his head, “I like to have a little faith that some alphas are still good people, so I tried not to let myself be shocked that an alpha would run a den- especially since he’s running it with his mate. I’ve never been to a den where the owners have family or friends or whatever stay with them, though.”

“What, do you mean Harry?”

“Yeah, that’s the guy. Harry something or other, I don’t know his last name. From what I know, Harry Whatshisname helped Liam and Zayn out with funds when they first started in this business. Not a cheap deal, running a den.”

I nodded, opening my mouth to reply, but I was cut off.

“It is Styles,” a familiar voice sounded from behind me, and I turned in my seat to see Harry standing in the archway to the living room. “My last name is Styles.”

“Harry,” I said, voice slightly choked, and I immediately spun to face Jeremy once more, back to Harry again. He looked wrecked- like he hadn’t slept in days or was sick with a nasty cold. I wanted _so badly_ to hold his big face between my little hands and kiss every inch of it.

“My bad on not recalling your name,” Jeremy waved off casually, and I tore myself out of my thoughts. There would be no more kissing, alone time, or anything to do with Harry. It wouldn’t be good for either of us.

“Omega,” Harry said, and I watched Jeremy’s eyebrows disappear into his hairline at Harry’s address, “Zayn won’t be finished with dinner for some time. I would appreciate it greatly if you would walk with me.”

I held my eye contact with a slightly concerned Jeremy as I spoke to Harry without facing him. “No-” I began, albeit with a bit of an internal struggle between myself and my inner omega, but it seemed like Harry had anticipated that answer.

“I swear to you, omega, this will be fast. I need to try and explain my actions of a couple days ago,” his voice lilted upwards at the end, and I was shocked to hear that he’d just barely suppressed a _whine._ An _alpha._ Nearly _whining_. That was new territory. “We could just go somewhere nearby- down the street, if that would make you comfortable, omega,” Harry continued, voice somewhat choked sounding.

“I don’t think so, Harry,” I made myself say. If Harry tried much harder my resolve would falter, I knew, so I tried to boot him from the room quicker. “Do you know what Zayn and Liam are thinking of naming their pup?” I asked Jeremy, “Is it a boy or girl?”

Harry appeared to be upset and hurting, but that didn’t stop him from trying again.

“Omega, please,” he sighed, defeat in his voice, “I have many things to apologize for, even if I do not deserve your time.”

“You don’t.” The words burned my throat.

“ _Please,_ ” Harry sounded desperate now. It killed me to know that I was the one who’d caused him to be so upset, especially when he’d done nothing wrong. I was just being a coward and not forcing out the real reason why I refused to see him.

Harry deserved so much better than me.

“Please, omega, I cannot close my eyes without thinking of what happened. I made such mistakes, and there are no excuses I can give, but-”

“He’s given you your answer,” Jeremy interjected, and his tone was gentle but final. 

Just as I expected an alpha like Harry would, he let it rest. “Yes, omega, alright,” he sighed, “I am sorry for interrupting your conversation,” and then he was gone.

His tangible presence had not left the room for more than ten seconds before Jeremy put a hand on the side of my face and made me look at him. “What in the ever loving fuck was that?”

“Nothing,” I immediately said, and Jeremy dropped his hand as though he’d been burned.

“I may be a backwoods wolf, but I still find it rude to lie right to someone’s face,” he chastised and I shook my head at him.

“It’s complicated between Harry and I,” I said, and I took a sip of my hot cocoa to calm myself after turning Harry away like I had. My inner omega was absolutely enraged about it.

“Yeah, complicated in the sense that he’s a controlling knothead who can’t take no for an answer,” Jeremy snorted, and I shook my head again.

“Harry’s not like that. What you just saw- that was a one time thing. Never happened before, won’t happen again.” Definitely won’t happen again after all that.

“Hey, now,” Jeremy said, voice suddenly soft, and his tone had my gaze flicking up to his. He put a hand on my knee. “Is he harming you?” he asked, and I was so shocked by the question that I couldn’t find any movements or words to respond with. “Is he threatening you? Or controlling you?”

I was genuinely, genuinely taken back by this.

Harry? Were we talking about Harry? The man who’d begun to change my perspective on alphas almost single handedly? The alpha who apologized to me over and over when he thought he’d hurt me in his sleep? The alpha that needed to be overly reassured before touching me afterwards? The alpha I had given permission to kiss me and then promptly pushed away, acting like he was the bad guy and I the victim when in all reality _I_ had led _him_ on, knowing we’d never work?

“Louis?” Jeremy asked, and I snapped out of my frozen state.

“No!” I said too loudly and too insistently, “Nothing like that. Something just happened between us recently and I’ve been… distancing myself.”

I really wanted to slap myself, because I knew exactly how that sounded, and so did Jeremy. “You sound an awful lot like you’ve been hit,” he said. It wasn’t in a mocking or dubious way, but more of a pitying one. A concerned one.

I couldn’t find any words. I could never picture Harry hitting me or hurting me or forcing me to do something. If you showed me one hundred pictures of random alphas I didn’t know, I would be able to imagine each and every one of them as untrustable, scum of the earth who thought omegas were there for their pleasure and nothing else.

Harry was different. I couldn’t see Harry being like that in any sense, any situation, any perspective.

“Louis,” Jeremy carried on, “The whole point of an omega den is to help omegas get out of situations like that. I’m sure Liam and Zayn would kick that knotbrain to the curb if they knew he was doing something like-”

Words graced my mind again. “He’s not doing anything to me,” I interrupted. “I’d rather be dead than let an alpha treat me like that ever again,” I said, and stifled a groan when I realized what I’d done. Jeremy raised an eyebrow at me, and I knew he was wondering how that part of my past fit into the history I’d given him.

Whatever. None of that mattered. I was pushing Harry away for both of our sakes. Soon enough my omega and his alpha will forget about whatever it was that danced between us for all of a minute and then everything will go back to normal. Harry will go home to Sweden and I’ll keep running from James.

If I didn’t push him away now, leaving eventually would just be that much harder.

Jeremy let my slip-up go, and we stopped talking about Harry; he could sense I was tired of the topic.

“You got a job yet?” he asked, and I set my mug down on the coffee table to my left as I finished my cocoa off.

“No,” I shook my head, “Not yet. I looked into it a bit before I came here, but it feels like so long ago; I doubt any of those jobs would still be available.” 

“Things move  fast around here,” Jeremy nodded, “I can help you get a job if you’d like.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, s’no problem. I’m at a florist-plant nursery that’s cash pay and not terrible hours. Owner’s an old omega- she won’t give you any trouble with anything.”

“Sounds alright to me.”

“I’ll have a chat with her, then.”

 

…

 

A couple weeks passed. I got the job at Jeremy’s florist just a day after our exchange in the living room- Margaret was a lovely old woman- and continued on avoiding Harry.

Everything felt very… final after that day in the living room. It was odd not seeing Harry around the den- even with Zayn and Liam- and it hadn’t taken long at all for a dreaded feeling to settle in my stomach that would not go away no matter how long I’d been separated from Harry or how much I tried to ignore it.

It felt like something- someone, more like- was missing.

However, like I said, I tried to ignore it. I also tried to ignore the fact that if Harry only got one month off from the NIA, he would have to be returning to Scandinavia sometime very, _very_ soon. My heart clenched at the thought every time, and Margaret loving to talk about him wasn’t helping.

She was a very observant person.

On my first day working, when I’d been organizing seed packets with the gray-haired omega beside me, she made me very aware of how few shits she gives about civilities, and just how much she can tell about a person after minimal interaction.

“So,” she’d said- very nonchalantly, might I add- “Which alpha’s got his knot up your brain but not your ass?”

Holy fuck, Margaret.

“No one,” I’d immediately said, and she’d tutted at me before going back to stacking tomato seeds by brand.

Margaret was on to me, damn it. Oh, well. There’d be nothing for her to be onto once Harry left.

It was slowly- so slowly it almost wasn’t happening at all- getting easier to cope with the dying connection between Harry and I. Despite my attraction to him still remaining nice and prevalently, I found that I stopped wanting to run into Harry’s broad chest every single time I thought of him. And I stopped needing to brace myself on a wall when the smell of fallen leaves came through the nursery. And I stopped having dreams about his lips on my own and his warm body encircling mine.

It was progress.

Working at the florist was interesting. For one, there was the lovely Margaret Potts. Secondly, I’d never had a job while on the run that was quite as constantly bustling and busy as _Potts_ _Florist & Nursery _was. Plant nurseries were few and far between in cities like Liverpool, and it never ceased to surprise me how creative Margaret had to get with her growing to keep her huge customer base satisfied.

The storefront was much like _Rhode Jewelers_ \- it was only five blocks over and a few streets up- in which it was cramped and without an alley between its neighbors. Margaret’s shop, however, had the rare advantage of being backed up to a public park, meaning that she just about as much backyard room as she wanted. Sometimes she put me to work out there pruning and harvesting- planting season had long ended, and according to Margaret we were about to have the two month stretch of no planting or pruning or harvesting or _anything_ thrust upon us due to the coldest parts of the year flying around the corner at breakneck speed.

When I was not doing some of our final harvests of the year, Margaret had me on the roof or working the register.  

The roof had an aura I do not think I’ll ever completely understand.

It’s generally hard to grow anything in Liverpool, as it’s overcast about 360 days of the year and in some sort of downpour the majority of _those_ days, but nevertheless, Margaret found a way to persevere.

The roof was where she housed the majority of her products, despite all the space in her backyard, as she was a firm believer in ‘the closer to the sun the better.’ Her philosophy paid off too, because the plants she housed up on her roof performed and grew better than any other city-flora I’d ever seen.

On any given day there were three or so people working in the nursery- always Margaret and then two of her five employees. As of late I’d only ever been on shift with Jeffery or an omega named Delilah- fitting for her job- and had not yet met the other two omegas hired. Margaret had a strict ‘omega-only employees’ policy that I could appreciate, but at the same time I seriously doubted that many alphas would ever be interested in working at a plant nursery and florist.

I was working the cash register on the two-week anniversary of my living room excursion, organizing some coupons next to the counter while Jeremy trudged around on the roof in a raincoat and Margaret bustled around the back room putting together specialty bouquets and arrangements. The rain seemed much more miserable than usual today, perhaps because there was actual thunder and lightning along with it, but whatever the cause I was glad Jeremy had drawn the short straw. I honestly didn’t know what he was even doing up there- there wasn’t much to be done when you had to blink every three seconds from rain hitting you in the motherfucking eyeball.

It was because of these especially bleary conditions that I expected it to be one of the rarer quiet days with few customers. These days didn’t come across often when Margaret had the committed and repetitive shoppers she did, but I wasn’t complaining. Having to deal with buyers all the time or constantly be upkeeping the plants and flowers kept my mind off of other topics- namely Harry- and that was nice. However, a break from it after two straight weeks was more than welcomed.

The coupons slipped from hand when someone came through the front door behind me, the bell just above it breaking the somewhat comforting silence far too harshly.

“Oh, darn it,” I muttered, crouching down. Who was out buying flowers on a day like this anyway?

The coupons had scattered everywhere of course, and as I gathered them all together in a little pile on the floor, a smell worked its way to me as a pair of feet did the same.

Oh, Great Warrior, _please_ tell me that I wasn’t smelling who I thought I was smelling right now.

“I am sorry if I startled you.”

 _Harry_. That bastard- why was he in a flower shop anyway? What, was he planning on gardening when he got back to Provincial Sweden? Not fucking likely- Sweden’s weather was even worse than Liverpool’s.

The fucking rain was an omen, wasn’t it?

Harry stopped walking when he got next to me, and I tried to carry on picking up the coupons as if nothing was wrong. However, everything was wrong, and I found that throughout my increasingly frantic coupon gathering that I was thinking up different ways to get out of this situation.

But then he crouched down beside me and began to help my pick up the bastards of paper scraps and I knew it was over. I had no chance of running into the back room before he smelled me now.

I looked at him, frozen now and just waiting for it, because it was coming.

He hadn’t changed at all in two weeks, and it was stupid for me to think that he might’ve. Harry was right there in all his curly headed, green eyed, muscular, dominating, familiar glory. He looked as though he hadn’t slept, eaten, showered in days, and _fuck_ if I didn’t want to launch myself into his arms despite all of it. Or maybe it was because of all of it.

There was a short stretch of time in which I just stared at him while he unknowingly breathed through his mouth, but then his lips closed and that, _that_ was it.

I saw the recognition flow through his head.

His entire body faced me in a flash, spinning from his kneeling position beside me, his eyes wide and jaw slightly dangling in shock, like he couldn’t believe it was me. Of course it was me- something like this would only happen to me.

“Omega,” he breathed out, and the coupons he’d held fell back to the floor as his hands shot out towards me.

And of course, I flinched.

It had had nothing to do with Harry and everything to do with James, but it sure didn’t come off that way. It came off like I was scared of him touching me, even though that was probably the one thing I wanted most right now.

Harry looked emotionally ravaged by my reaction to his jerky movement, like he’d forgotten the way I’d treated him during our most recent exchanges and the other ways I’d reacted to him touching me. Before his hands could touch my skin he anchored them back to his body.

Holy hell, I wanted to touch him. But I had to remember the game I way playing- the game that would benefit both of us in the long run.

“Harry,” I eventually greeted, and we both stood, the coupons on the floor long forgotten.

“What are you doing here, omega?” he asked, and I shook my head at him in fake disbelief.  

“I  _work_ here,” I rolled my eyes, and my inner omega snarled like I’d mortally offended him at my sharp tone. 

Harry’s defeated face only seemed to worsen at my unfriendly and guarded demeanor, and he took a step back from the close proximity I’d failed to notice we were in.

“Yes, of course,” he said, and he ran a hand through his hair as he eyed the red apron I wore, the words _Potts Florist & Nursery _ stitched into the front.

It was quiet for a moment, just the wet air that Harry had let in hanging between us, and I averted my gaze from the situation before me.

I missed Harry so much. Too much for my situation and too much for having known him for so little time.

I could feel his eyes on me, taking in my appearance, I assumed. Well, I’ll say this- I wasn’t looking much better than Harry was.

“Did you come in here for a reason, Harry?” I snapped. My inner omega whined at my poor treatment of him. Didn’t he know I hated it just as much?  

“Yes, I…” he floundered for words a moment, eyes trained somewhere behind me, “I need to buy a bouquet.”

Wonderful. That was wonderful. If he was a customer, then I would treat him like a customer. I could compartmentalize. Yeah- I could _totally_ compartmentalize.

“Okay,” I said, an air of uncaring surrounding my words, “Then let’s figure out what you need and get you on your way.”

I went behind the counter and pulled out a specialty order form just in case Harry didn’t want a premade bouquet, and he looked around the store a moment before stepping up to the counter. Personalized it is. I clicked the pen and scribbled down the information about him I knew and looked up at him in waiting.

He seemed to contemplate something a moment before giving into it. “I want something small but very, very beautiful,” he said in a steady, certain voice.

“We can do that.” I circled a couple things on the form.

“I would like rare flowers. The most unique you have.”

“Alrighty.”

“It should smell breathtaking. Like the most amazing scent you have ever had the pleasure of being in the presence of.”

That was… specific. I wondered for a moment if Harry knew the dangers of that instruction- I seriously doubted he wanted to receive a bouquet that smelled like him.

“We’ll… try our best with that one.” I wrote down his requests and glanced at the next section. “When do you need this arrangement by?” I asked, ready to hear the word ‘tomorrow.’ I was expecting it but not encouraged by it- Margaret would have a hell of a time putting together the arrangement Harry wanted without a good bit of time.

“Oh,” Harry paused a moment, “I do not think I want it.”

I dropped my pen on the counter as I scrutinized Harry’s face.

“What?”

“I do not want the flowers.”

“ _Why_?” Or, more elaboratively, why did we just sit through filling that form out if he didn’t even want the fucking bouquet? 

“Because I do not think that you will accept them.”

And that was when my act fell apart; I couldn’t put snark in my voice if I tried. “You were going to buy me flowers?”

Harry nodded, green eyes earnest at my change in manner. “I do not know any other way to apologize, and I am leaving for Scandinavia tomorrow. I wanted to leave you with something to show how sorry I am for what happened two weeks ago.”

My act was already done with, finalized, _over,_  but Harry being so beat up over this, so outwardly disheartened by everything had me wanting to do everything I could to make him think I didn’t actually think badly towards him or anything that had happened between us.

“Harry,” his face brightened at my tone, so similar to the way I’d spoken to him before everything happened, “You don’t know everything about me. You wouldn’t want me if you did.”

He shook his head immediately, vehemently. “I would still want you, omega. I want you.”

A feeling I’d never experienced before appeared in the pit of my stomach.

I wanted Harry. I knew this, I had accepted this, and I had decided to take action to save both myself and him from it before it became too late. However, despite all of that, it was a motherfucking _great_ feeling to hear Harry say he felt the same outloud.

He took a step towards me hesitantly, and when I neither flinched or moved away, he took another one.

“You wouldn’t,” I disagreed, “I have too much baggage, too many problems that are not yours to deal with.” I crossed my arms over my chest, but it was in a self-comforting sense instead of the indignancy I’d shown Harry so much of recently.

“A good… boyfriend, mate, whatever it is, omega, carries some of the strain of their partner’s life from before they met. Let me do that for you. Let me make up for the mistakes I’ve made in the past two weeks.”

I stared at the ground, swaying back and forth where I stood while I thought.

This wasn’t about what either of us wanted. This wasn’t about his instinctive desires or my own. This was about the best for both of us- would I drag him down if we were together? Would I tarnish his reputation back in Scandinavia? Would he hold me back from my freedom? Would being with each other be the _safest_ thing? The healthiest thing?

I had long learned the lesson of being careful of what I wished for, and it was not easily unlearned, no matter how Harry made me feel.

As I internally battled back and forth, Harry closed the rest of the space between us, tilting my head up to look at him with two fingers under my chin. I stared blankly into his eyes.

“What do you want, omega?”

“I want you,” I replied. It was easy- it wasn’t a secret I felt the need to keep anymore after Harry had told me the same. But just because it was easy didn’t mean it wouldn’t have consequences later.

“Then let me be with you. Let me be a good alpha to you.” His glance shifted to my lips for a second before he readjusted his gentle grip on my chin and looked back to my eyes. “I know I have made mistakes, omega. I know that my actions of two weeks ago were inappropriate and I understand that they made you feel uncomfortable. I understand if you cannot forgive me for that yet. But if you are willing, I would like to spend time trying to make it up to you- as much time as you will allow me around.”

“It wasn’t you, Harry,” I whispered, and Harry shook his head, his long curls nearly brushing my face with how close we were.

“I do not understand.”

“Two weeks ago in your room… my running away was not your fault. It was not from anything you did.”

“I apologize, omega,” he breathed, “But I am still not getting it.”

I brought my hand up to Harry’s and slid his hand over to cup my cheek, nuzzling into his palm. I interlaced my fingers with his; his eyes fluttering closed a moment in silent response. “I… was trying to make this easier on us. Even if we want each other, Harry, there are still so many things that will keep us apart in the end, and I just… I tried to cut myself off from you before the connection got too strong to let go of.”

“Did it work?” he asked, thumb skidding along my cheekbone.

“Did what work?”

“Did you cut yourself off before the connection got too strong to let go of?”

“Well, we’re here doing this, aren’t we?” He nodded. “Then I guess not.”

He smiled at me.

“So I did not do anything wrong that day?”

“No,” I said, and I let myself go, eyes finally drifting shut as I revelled in the feeling of Harry’s hand on my cheek. “No, all of the things I said, the way I acted in the living room and when you first walked in here… it was an act. I thought that if I acted like I didn’t want you, it would eventually make you not want me.”

“Silly, silly, omega,” Harry tsked, and I opened my eyes to see his lopsided grin, “I would want you in spite of anything.”

“You already want me in spite of _everything._ ” 

There was a pause, just a few moments where Harry and I basked in the feeling of touching each other and speaking together again after such a disastrous time apart.

“You do not have to tell me now, and I will not ask about it until you offer it yourself,” he said, and I became increasingly wary as he spoke. I knew what was coming. “But I would like to know what happened to you, omega.”

I would tell him. If Harry and I, despite everything, somehow found a way to be together, I would tell him all of it. All of my dark, deep secrets. But until then, that was a story for a different time.

“We’ll speak of it another time,” I whispered, “For now, alpha-” his eyes grew at my address- “I want you to kiss me.”

And so he did. With his other arm snaking around my waist and pulling me flush to him and his one large, _large_ hand still cupping my face, he kissed me. It was the greatest relief I’d ever felt- better than eating after days without food, better than coming out heat after being under for what always feels like eons, better than my first night free on the street after escaping James.

I threw myself into it. Probably much more than I should’ve considering what was about to happen, but I did. I dropped my hand from lacing his on my cheek in favor of wrapping both arms around my neck and bent and arched so far  into him his body was nearly bent over mine.

It was a moment I would never, ever regret no matter what happened. Of this I was sure.

Even when someone cleared their throat behind me.

“So,” Margaret said, and Harry and I sprung from each other, whipping around to face the old woman, “You’re the knot-for-brains that had Louis all in a tizzy the past couple of weeks.”


	9. The Kitchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis spend some of Harry’s last day in Liverpool together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y’all. Fun-ish fact: both Abisko and Keinovuopio are real places in Sweden. Bonus fact: I also do not know how to exactly pronounce Keinovuopio.  
> Phia

“I- uh, Margaret, this is Harry.” Fuck, I didn’t know if I’d ever been in such an awkward situation before.

“Hello, I am Harry Styles. It is nice to meet you.”

I fought the urge to snort. We’d just been caught making out by my boss and yet Harry still couldn’t act with anything but the utmost of class and manners.

Margaret did snort. “I own this place. I’m Margaret,” she shortly introduced. “And now that that’s out the way, do I need to throw you out of here?” she looked at me, “Do I need to call the police for you?”

Good ol’ Margaret. Always trying to look out.

I put an arm around Harry’s waist, “Everything’s under control here, Margaret, but thank you.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Mmm-hmm.” Dubious, was the best way to describe how she sounded.

Harry seemed unphased and unbothered by her questions. “You have a lovely store. Very nice flowers.”

“I know,” she waved Harry’s comment off, quickly moving on, “So, what’re you, then? The boyfriend? Courting, are you two?”

I rolled my eyes, biting back laughter. “Harry’s just a friend.”

“A very _good_ friend.”

She had me there.

At the silence Margaret got in response she waved a hand at us. “Off you get.”

“Sorry?” My shift wasn’t over for another couple of hours, and I wasn’t especially keen on walking back to the jewelry store in the pouring rain.

“Get out of here,” Margaret reiterated. “The storm’s only gonna be worse if you leave later, and I was going to have to take Jeremy down off the roof soon anyway. Might as well give you all the rest of the day off.”

“Thank you,” I said, looking back up at Harry, opening my mouth to ask him a question when something in the corner of my eye caught my attention. Margaret was still standing there, arms now wide open in invitation of a hug, and I blanked for a moment. Was _Margaret_ offering me _physical contact_?

What the fuck.

Harry gave me a little prompting push and I got my scattered thoughts together, walking forward to let my boss’ arms wrap me up.

I was about to pull away when I caught her whisper in my ear, so low I had to strain to hear it and definitely too low for Harry to hear it a few feet away, even with his ‘superior alpha senses.’ Ugh.

“You have a problem, you come tell me.”

Oh, I- oh. Alright.

When her grip around my shoulders loosened I released myself of her hold and nodded, and she met my gaze blankly before turning around and walking towards the stairs to the roof.

“You have a nice day, Harry Styles,” she called over her shoulder.

“You too,” but Margaret was already gone.  
We stood together in silence a moment, rocking back on our heels and acknowledging the oddity of what had just happened.

“Would you…” Harry broke the silence, continuing when I looked up to meet his gaze instead of staring at his black winter boots, “Would you like to come out to lunch with me, omega?”

I stared at him a moment, just a bit of an incredulous look, really, and it had him quickly backtracking.

“Unless you would not like to- that is okay.”

I laughed at him for a second, then I strode over and put my arms around his neck, his hands finding their way to my waist like it was a movement they’d made a thousand times.

“Harry, you… moron _-_ ” he grinned at me- “Do you not see the weather outside? I’ll get blown away by the wind alone.”

He shook his head at me, “O, ye of little faith.”

“ _What_?” I laughed.

“Do you think I would let you get hurt? Ever? By anything?”

I balked a moment, and the playful tone of our conversation fell from the air quickly.  
“I…”

“ _Omega_ ,” Harry said, voice reproachful, “I have gathered that you do not trust easily, but if you are never to doubt one thing, let it be that I will keep you safe. No matter the circumstances.”

My inner omega absolutely threw up rainbows at Harry’s words. I suppose that’s every omega’s dream, isn’t it? Being told by an alpha in no uncertain terms that they’ll keep them safe and protected and loved despite anything and everything?

Somewhere deep inside me- inside the part that hated biologically wanting an alpha- rolled its eyes at Harry’s proclamation. Another part of me- namely my inner omega- bowed its head in submission just from the tone Harry spoke with.

“Thank you, Harry… that… means a lot.” I guess I was siding with my inner o, then.

And yeah, I know that was a sucky-ass reply. Harry seemed pleased enough at my response though, grip tightening on my waist.

“So,” he raised a brow, “Lunch?”

“I…” oh, what the hell? “Yeah, of course.” Maybe it could be a last hurrah before we said our goodbyes tomorrow. That was gonna suck, I was sure.

Harry waited in the show room while I took off my work apron to hang up in the back room and gathered my things.

I had gone absolutely nowhere in Liverpool with the exception of the florist and the jewelry store, but Harry said he knew a good place for a quick meal, and I had no objections. Whatever would get us out of the rain soonest.

 

…

 

Unsurprisingly, the shop we’d been hoping to eat at had lost power due to the storm, and we ended up just going back to the den for lunch. It was a quiet stroll across town, Harry dutifully holding the umbrella above my head that Margaret had thrown our way before we’d left.

Despite being able to stay dry, the cold was still bitter and unavoidable, yet I found that I didn’t pay it much mind when I had Harry walking beside me, making conversation about nothing and everything. We jumped around with our questions, throwing them back and forth.

“Does the weather ever get like this in Keinovuopio?” 

“It is usually much, much colder and less rainy, but yes, sometimes.”

“Have Liam or Zayn ever been there?” I asked. It was hard to picture them outside of the jewelry store, though I knew Liam hadn’t even been born in this world power. I supposed that was the point, though- the entire crux of their line of work was fitting in, being inconspicuous. The more they seemed like regular British citizens, the better.

“They lived in Oslo for a time before they moved here, and they visited me often then, but it is not as simple anymore,” Harry shook his head.

“Not as simple?”

“They cannot very well leave the den… unguarded, I suppose. It is easier if I come here.”

“Ah.” Trust of their residents could only go so far.

“It will not be a problem soon, though.”

I raised an eyebrow at Harry, “What do you mean?”

He seemed to realize what he’d said then, eyes going wide and bottom lip being dragged into his mouth by his teeth.

“You must not tell anyone of what you just heard. I was supposed to keep that a secret.”

“And what secret would that be?”

Harry sighed; and I knew he wished I would just move on. I wasn’t going to though, not by a long shot.

“Zayn and Liam are leaving.”

That was _not_ what I thought he was going say.

Zayn and Liam were leaving? What would happen to the den- all the omegas that relied on it? Where would _I_ go?

My stunned silence spurred Harry on. The sopping splat of our shoes on the wet ground hung heavily between us in the moments before Harry spoke.

“They want to raise Lief in Scandinavia,” he explained, trying to justify his friends’ decision to me. It was hard, though, not to be angry at their decision. It wasn’t just them that would be affected; they were giving up on all of the omegas that needed them.

“Their baby?” The words were cold and harsh, probably too much so. Harry nodded. “I didn’t know it was a boy,” I added in a futile attempt to keep some civility about me; it didn’t work, and my tone was almost sneering.

“An alpha, too,” Harry smiled, pride in his eyes despite my bitter attitude, “Liam is ecstatic about it.” Well, _yeah_ , no shit. Of course an alpha would be over the fucking moon that their baby is an alpha- it was like the epitome of patriarchy to sire one, especially on the first try. Knotheads and their fertility complexes.

“ _You_ seem ecstatic about it,” I quipped, not much humor in my voice, but Harry nodded nonetheless.

“Zayn and Liam are my family, and I pray the Elements will bestow upon them everything they are rightfully deserving of. They have wanted pups since they began courting- I am glad that I will not have to listen to them complain about it anymore.” His attempt at a joke fell short with me, and it was then that Harry seemed to realize that my cold demeanour was not merely one that would be washed away easily without suitable justification.

“Please, try to understand their decision.”

“They are going to leave every omega in that den _stranded_ , Harry.” My tone was cutting, eyes ablaze that Harry seemed so uncaring that all of these omegas would be out on the street with nowhere to go. “Some of them made a home- fuck, Jeremy’s been there a year. A _year,_ Harry. That den is all he’s got, and they’re just going to take it away. They knew what they were doing when they got into this business- they chose to run a den. It’s unbelievably selfish to pull out now with no warning _._ ”

Harry was silent, eyes on the ground.

“When are they going to tell everyone?” I asked. This answer would not be easily overshadowed, whatever it might be.

“As soon as Zayn delivers.”

“Which will be?”

Hesitance was radiating off of Harry. “Three weeks,” he admitted at last, “Probably sooner.”

A mean, bitter laugh escaped my throat. Three weeks? They were giving these omegas three weeks to try and find a place to go? What about the ones with good, quality jobs? Would they just have to leave them behind because they’re forced to go somewhere else once the den’s gone?

“Omega, I know it seems bad, but-”

“Seems bad? _Seems bad_?” I was on the brink of yelling, and I was fuming so much that I had to stop walking and school my physical actions before I hit something- or someone.

I unloaded on Harry.

“That doesn’t just _seem bad_ , Harry, that _is_ _shit_. Making, what, twenty omegas leave everything behind in _less than a month_? Do they have no heart?”

Zayn and Liam had come across as wonderful, kind and selfless people from my few interactions with them. I could hardly fathom how wrong that impression had been.

“You do not know the full story, omega.” His words were bordering something, not quite on a challenge but that’s still how I took it.

“Then please, Harry, enlighten me.” I was sneering. Sneering at Harry. Great Warrior, how had we gotten here after such a wonderful reunion only a little while ago?

“Their stories are not mine to tell.”

Of fucking course.

“Oh, no, no, no, you are _not_ pulling that bullshit right now.”

The audacity of this alpha to say that. Fuck- maybe I was right. Maybe this would never work with Harry, but just not for the reasons I originally thought. “I deserve to know why you think Zayn and Liam abandoning the people who need them most- the people that they are obligated to help- is in any way justifiable.”

“Omega, if I am to tell you, then you must promise me something.”

“I don’t need to promise you anything.”

“Then bothering to tell you would be pointless.”

My eyes rolled so hard I worried they would fall out of my skull. “Fine,” I huffed, “What do I have to promise?”

“That you will try to see it from Liam and Zayn’s perspective.”

“What?” I asked, “That’s it?”

“That is it.”

“Fine.”

But I was only agreeing because I knew it wouldn’t matter. There _were_ no justifiable reasons.

The rest of our walk to _Rhode Jewelers_ was spent in tense silence. There was no one out on the streets- unsurprising with the near hurricane blowing through town- and the only sounds I could hear were the rain pelting the umbrella still above our heads and the slap of our shoes on the concrete underneath us.

When we reached the jewelry store the sign on the door had been flipped to CLOSED, but Zayn and Liam were still milling around the shop. My blood boiled at the sight of them, the heartless wretches, and as Harry pulled open the door for me I wondered whether or not I’d be able to keep my cool.

“Harry, Louis,” Zayn greeted, smile on his face and broom in hand, “What the hell were you doing out in weather like that?”

Harry jumped in to respond before I could say something I’d regret. “Louis was at work. I picked him up.”

“You both should join us for lunch,” Liam suggested, coming to stand beside Zayn, “We were going to make pasta for ourselves up in the apartment, but you two are welcome to eat with us.”

I scoffed before I could stop myself. “What, are the other omegas here not good enough to eat with you in your ‘private living space’?”

Zayn’s smile immediately dropped from his face, but his tone remained friendly, albeit slightly confused. “No, of course not, but everyone is either out working or sleeping or doing their own things. A lot of the omegas here don’t eat a formal lunch like we do.”

Well… alright.

I held my pride high stuck my nose up in the air.

“We are going to be upstairs in the guest room if you need us,” Harry interjected quickly. I threw a glance his way before walking towards the staircase tucked behind the alcove at the edge of the room, Harry trailing behind me.

Harry flicked on the light that illuminated the small living room and humble kitchen when we got inside, took off his shoes and hung his coat on the rack by the door, and waited for me to do the same before walking to his bedroom.

The door hadn’t been closed for half a millisecond before he rounded on me.

“What you said to Liam and Zayn was very rude, omega.”

My first instinct was to defend my actions, “Yeah? Well-” but I knew I was wrong. “I know. I’ll apologize to them later. But right now you’re supposed to be telling me why I shouldn’t hate them.”

A sigh left Harry’s lips as he sat down on the edge of his bed. The room still smelled so much like him, and the memories that were shared between us in this space were almost overwhelming.

“How much do you know of Liam and Zayn, omega?”

I leaned back against the dresser opposite his bed and shrugged. “Liam’s from Provincial Norway, but Zayn grew up near here. Zayn was working with the European Military in Oslo when that bomb went off a few years ago, and Liam was in the explosion too. You pulled them out,” I racked my mind, “That’s about it.”

“Okay,” Harry nodded, “Okay. Omega, I will not tell you their life stories- that is not my place, and I will not break their confidence to do so. But I will tell you what you need to know.”

I waited with my eyebrows raised.

“During their lives, Zayn and Liam have suffered innumerable hardships. I do not know how, or why, but somehow they managed to come out of each one stronger, even more selfless than they had before. They are the most compassionate wolves I have ever met.”

 _Yeah_. Sure.

“For a large part of both their lives, they had nothing. By nothing, omega, I truly mean nothing. They were worth what they had on their backs. They clawed their way to survival, they clawed their way to comfort. And then they lost everything they had made for themselves in the form of a bomb going off.”

Oh.

“When they were still trying to climb to their feet after the bombing, everything they had was not much at all. They could scarcely keep themselves afloat, and yet they still gave whatever they could away. They saw people who were in the same place they had once been in for so long, and they let themselves live with very little so other people could have something. Anything.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“When they were finally recovered after the explosion, they both received reparations from the British and Scandinavian governments, and they decided to come here to start this den- a place where they could give others everything they had all the time.”

Great. Didn’t change the fact that they were bailing on it.

Harry noticed my stiff mindset.

“You promised me, omega,” he reminded, and I shook my head at myself.

“I know,” I sighed, “I’ll try harder.”

Okay, try again. Open mind.

“They keep nothing for themselves. Everything they have they give away, they share. Nothing has ever been valuable enough to them to warrant shielding from others.”

I was silent, trying to completely take in what Harry said.

“This pup is theirs,” he paused, running over his words in his head, “Lief is the one thing they care about in this world more than each other, it is the one thing- the _only_ thing they are not willing to give up for other people. And maybe that makes them, for the only time in their lives, selfish, but after the hardships they’ve suffered, the challenging, brutal lives they’ve lead since childhood, after everything they’ve given, everything they’ve sacrificed, everything they’ve done for others unprompted, how can anyone deny them this? It is their pup, their blood and flesh. I do not have children, omega, and neither do you, but can’t you image that you would do anything to give your child a better life than you had? The best life possible?”

There were many things I could say to that.

I could argue my part. I could stand my ground and ignore everything Harry had just said. I could pretend none of it mattered, say that they had known what a life of running a den entailed when they’d thrown themselves into one. But that was not fair, not to Zayn and Liam, not to Harry, and not to myself.

I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I acted as though what Harry had said didn’t mean anything, because I knew that it did. I knew that it more than justified Zayn and Liam giving up the den, that it more than justified them leaving.

Harry was waiting for my reply.

“I’m sorry for what I said about them earlier,” I said. “I… think I understand their choice, now.”

“Thank you,” Harry said, bowing his head in appreciation before meeting my gaze again, “I am glad you do not harbor any bad blood with my family.”

His words jumped out at me. “I’m not trying to begin to a new topic as soon as I can, but you keep referring to them as your family.”

“I- would you lay with me, omega? I am sorry, I know it is odd to ask so soon after fighting, I suppose, but I would greatly like to hold you right now.”

His honesty did not shock me. I nodded my head.

He scooched back on the bed, situating himself under the covers, and I clambered in after him, lying beside him, untouching before he rolled on top of me.

“ _Harry_ ,” I laughed, and he chuckled low in my ear.

“May I lay like this, omega?”

“I… yeah, I mean… yes.”

I pushed my legs out from where Harry’s were overtop, and he snuggled between them, the intimacy of the position not escaping me. Harry rested his head on my throat.

“Where we were?” he asked.

“I was wondering why you call Liam and Zayn family.”

“Oh,” Harry recalled, “Well, it is not complicated.” He paused to litter kisses along my collar bones. I tensed at the feeling and then promptly relaxed, eyes closing. “All of my blood has died- Liam is the same. Zayn never knew his, and he has never wanted to, and as time went on I have found that we created our own family in each other. The family we all never had.”

“That,” I momentarily lost my train of thought, “That is wonderful, Harry.”

“Are you tired, omega?” Harry asked, “It has been a long day.” That it had, but I was not. This was my last day with Harry before he returned to Scandinavia, I was almost certain, and I was not going to waste anymore of it.

“No, I’m good,” I smiled, and when I opened my eyes Harry was hovering over me, face no longer near my chest.

“You are beautiful, omega.”

Fuck you, I was _not_ blushing.

“Thank you.”

“Is this the wrong moment to kiss you?” he asked.

“No.”

“May I, then?”

“You don’t need to ask, Harry.”

That was a yes in his book. His lips were on mine, soft and controlled, leading and following all the same. My legs found their way around his waist, my hands into his hair, and he… he was everywhere. His fingers found every available inch of skin- on my chest, my arms, my face and neck. I was so lost in his movements that I hardly noticed my own, I hardly noticed when our tongues touched.

That was new.

It became stronger then, more forceful. It was like we had simultaneously remembered that we would not spend another night together, that we had wasted so much time, that time was running out for us.

And I knew what I wanted.

“Harry,” I whispered, and he pulled back, eyes wide and questioning.

“Have I done something wrong?” he asked, voice slightly on edge.

“What? No, you haven’t- no. I just…”

“What is it, omega?”

I did not ask with words. I slid my hands down his chest, around his back, a slow, meticulous pace. My fingers dropped lower until they grasped the end of his shirt. And then I tugged it upward.

Recognition dawned on Harry’s face like a new day.

He leaned back immediately, eyes wide, almost shocked at what I was requesting of him, and he pulled his shirt off.

His unclothed torso was everything I’d thought it would be.

There were tattoos. Lots of them. Under his collar bones was large, flowing writing that spelled out _Skandivarg_ , and on the space under his shoulders were four different symbols, two on each side. One for each element. On each pec were three overlapping triangles, all interlocked with each other, and between them, in the middle of his chest, was a large, intricate crest I didn’t know the name or significance of. Across both sides of his ribcage were names. Hundreds of names that I did not recognize, all scrawled in beautiful cursive, finding their homes in the spaces between and over his ribs.  

He was gorgeous. So I told him so.

“You’re flawless.”

He shook his head with a grin. “I am far from it, omega.”

“Come down here,” I whispered, and he lowered himself back on top of me, never breaking eye contact. His arms were on either side of my torso, and he could be as far from me as he wanted, but instead he leant forward, and brushed our noses together. His breath ghosted over my face, and I hadn’t noticed before but his scent was wrapping me up just like his body, and it was soon one of the only things I could think about. He was intoxicating.

When he started to shuffle his way down the bed I let out a whine that sounded completely and absolutely foreign to my ears. I had never whined for an alpha before.

He stopped his movements a moment before getting his face back up close to mine, and when I watched him close his eyes I did the same. His nose skidded down the side of my own, and when his lips brushed mine another whine escaped me.

He began to lick across my cheeks, a soothing motion that had me melting backwards into the mattress.

“Shh, omega, you do not need to whine. I am not going anywhere.”

But even though his words were untrue, even though we both knew it, neither of us said anything.

“Harry,” I whispered.

“Yes?”

“I want you to ask me.”

“Ask you what, omega?”

“ _Ask me_.”

“What do- oh. You… oh. Are you quite certain?”

I nodded. “I’m sure.”

“Omega…” he hesitated.

“Harry,” I took his face between my hands, “Ask me.”

He cocked his head to the side, looking me in the eye with a strong look. “What are you running from, omega?”

Oh, Elements. I let out a breath. “So much, Harry.”

 

…

 

Harry and I were sat in Liam and Zayn’s kitchen drinking hot chocolate; he still didn’t have a shirt on. The single light above the small table was on, and it hauntingly illuminated Harry’s face from above, providing shadows of his brow and nose on the rest of his face. He was so beautiful.

Silence was dangling between us like a sword above our heads on a single string- dangerous, easily snapped, precarious. I did not especially wish to break it, and Harry had been an utmost gentleman about not prodding, but I had told him to ask me. I had invited the question. I could not simply deny him his answer now.

Setting my cup on the table was the equivalent of a strike on a snare drum. Harry’s eyes flew to mine, flew like he’d been on edge since we’d climbed out of his bed and went into the kitchen.

I stared at the mug in my hands when I first began to speak.

“My mother was killed when I was thirteen,” was my opening line. I expected Harry to say something, offer his condolences or sorrys, but he remained stoically and respectfully quiet. I appreciated it. “My mother was killed when I was thirteen,” I repeated, “And I saw it happen.”

Of course I’d seen it happen. It had happened in my living room, happened fifteen feet away from where I’d been sat at the kitchen counter trying to do my math homework. He’d come from upstairs, papers in hand, and threw my mother across the room when she denied what they suggested.

I had not moved, had not screamed for help, had not called the police, because while I’d seen the bruises on my mother before, I hadn’t asked her where they came from. I hadn’t asked because I already knew, yet never in a million years had I dreamed that my father was capable of killing her.

But he was. He proved that that day.

“After my mother died, my dad used me as his, the way he’d used my mother before she was killed, even when she’d cried and said no. Even when _I_ cried and said no.”

I shook my head, scrunching my eyes shut, trying to take deep breaths. I traced a pattern of swirls up and down my arm with my finger to calm myself. I hated this, I hated this, I hated this so, so much. Why had I offered to talk about it with Harry?

“After I turned sixteen, my father started letting his friends use me too.”

Images blew through my head as I spoke, feelings I’d long forgotten lingering across my body where hands had once held. I pulled my knees up to my chest when my own hands began to shake, and tried to listen to Harry’s breathing across the table to match mine to. It was hard, though, when he sounded like his breaths were also speeding and heavy, but judging on his expanding scent it was more out of anger than the fear I had coursing through my veins, pulsing under my skin.

“One of them really liked me,” my voice wasn’t shaking- it wasn’t shaking, it wasn’t, it wasn’t, it wasn’t- “And my father sold me to him the day I turned eighteen. I haven’t seen my dad since.”

When the tears began to fall I scrubbed at my skin- tears made it real, tears made this conversation into something I could not box away later and pretend never happened. I hadn’t realized how hard I’d been scrubbing until my skin around my eyes began to feel raw. That just made the tears come faster.

“I-I,” I was gasping for air now, sobbing through my words- where had this come from? Why did I fall apart at the memories I had gotten so good at compartmentalizing? I pushed my hands against my chest, over my heart, forcing out all the air in my lungs before I took a deep, shuddering breath. I did the pushing again and again until I’d forced myself back into a rhythm of respiration that would not send me into yet another fainting spell.

“The friend my father sold me to,” I eventually got out, “Was-was just like him. He did even worse things-” oh, Elements, they were coming back, everything was coming back- I couldn’t- I- what was- _I could feel him again_.

I put my head between my knees, plugged my ears, held my breath, closed my eyes- everything I could do to get into a mode when my senses couldn’t hurt me anymore. My mind, my senses were betraying me, taking me back to a time in which I could not handle returning to.

Nothing was working- it wasn’t working. James was still there, all over me in his bedroom when got home from work, ignoring my cries, ignoring my pain, ignoring my pleads for him to stop, pushing and pulling me until I was presenting for him.

My hips and butt and throat felt aflame- they burned where I knew his touch had been. They itched and burned and screamed for attention as though I already wasn’t focusing on them, as though I could focus on anything else.

I was in quiet darkness, still trying to make the memories go away, when I felt myself being pulled from my chair into an inferno. Oh, Great Warrior, was James back? Was he burning me? I was bad, I’m sorry, _I’m sorry_ -

“Omega, I am here, it is Harry, it is only me.”

James was tricking me! He was- I was- _someone help me, please_ -

“It is Harry, please, omega, come back to me.”

My hands were torn from where they’d been feebly trying to cover my ears, and were placed on something hard. What was that? Was that- James- did he-

“Feel my face, omega, it is Harry, I promise you.”

I shook my head; that was exactly what James would say if he wanted to trick me. I couldn’t get away from the inferno that held me, the flames had wrapped around my back until I could not move my torso or legs. I pushed my hands against the hardness they were placed on- get away, get away, get away.  

I struggled on against the flames until they cupped the back of my neck and forced my head forward, into a crevice, and held me there. I fought, scratched at the flames, screaming now, until I took a shaking breath in through my nose.

 _Harry_.

Oh, Harry was here, he was here, he was going to keep me safe, protect me.

“It is me, omega, it is Harry. I am here,” he said, and I moved I shoved my head further into where he held it. He smelled like comfort, and goodness, and protection, and security, and it was so overwhelming I almost passed out from it alone.

Fingers threaded through my own, and when I speculatively opened my eyes I found that he was holding my hands to his cheeks. His eyes were wild, frantic, scared, upset. He was the inferno I had been thrown into- he was holding me in his lap on the ground beside the table, making me straddle his waist.

“Harry,” I cried, and then I closed my eyes once more, and he let me sob until I had nothing left to give. And during all that time, did I think of only one thing. 

_What a way to spend our last day together._


	10. The Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ha y'all thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all. In case you couldn't tell, I got really tired of writing transition scenes in this chapter.  
> Phia

He was gone. After everything I’d told Harry, after the way he’d comforted me, after the way he’d soothed my sorrows, after the mess of a last day we’d had, he was gone.

Zayn, Liam, Harry and I had walked to the train station. In the pouring, freezing rain, we had walked to the train station, and Harry had held my hand the entire time, squeezing whenever the rain picked up faster. The rain almost seemed like a physical embodiment of my emotions, really.

But maybe that was just dramatic. This entire thing seemed dramatic, really.

I had gotten so worked up over an alpha I barely knew, an alpha I practically knew nothing about. _Blame your inner o_ , I told myself, _You wouldn’t feel this way if not for him_.

I tried to convince myself that what I felt for Harry was a cultivation of being affection-starved for so much time, even if by choice. No touch at all would always be better than forced touch in my book, and I’d choose the former time and time again if I had to, but it took its toll.

Yet surely my own mind hadn’t gotten myself involved and attached to _an alpha_ , when I knew as well as anyone how alphas could be.

No, I’d blame that one on my nature, not my rational side.

When we had gotten to the station, I turned away, not watching as Zayn and Liam bowed to Harry, and in return Harry to them. I did not want to cry, was not willing to cry over Harry leaving when I’d known he’d leave since the beginning, and I certainly wasn’t going to cry after all the crying I’d done over the past day into his shoulder.

Besides. The principle of crying over an alpha was not one I was going to adhere to.

So when Harry walked to me, turned me around and crushed me into his chest, I let no tears escape. And when he whispered in my ear, my cheeks remained dry. And when I watched him get on his train, my emotions were kept well in check.

And when the days began to pass without Harry there, I didn’t shed a tear.

 

…

 

I felt… hollow. I had known Harry had made me happy. I had known he’d made me feel safe and protected and I liked the way his inner alpha and my inner omega seemed to have so much biological chemistry.

However, I hadn’t known just how much his leaving would affect me.

I had been in immense pain during two days after I’d run from his room so many weeks ago, but it was nothing compared to how I felt now. It was like there was an empty part in the middle of my chest. I couldn’t sleep as my inner omega hardly ever stopped whimpering. I couldn’t be anywhere in the den except for Niall and I’s room and the kitchen, and even those places still held memories of Harry.

Everything hurt so fucking bad. But I never cried. Not once.

I tried my very hardest not to think of Harry now that he was gone, steadily convincing myself that depriving myself the memories of his touch and smile and eyes would do me good in the long run. I didn’t speak of him to Liam or Zayn or Niall- I barely spoke to Liam and Zayn as it was, now. When Margaret asked of Harry, I brushed her off. When Zayn left Harry’s pillowcase at Niall and I’s door as an offering of comfort the day after he’d left, I had Niall take care of it. I didn’t know what he’d done, and I didn’t care.

I didn’t care.

I tried not to care.

I really fucking cared. A lot. I wanted Harry back so badly.

Who the fuck was I? A month and a half ago, I _never_ would have let myself form any type of attraction to an alpha. I never would’ve let myself be vulnerable in such a way. I would’ve put myself first, above anybody and everyone, my safety, my desires, my feelings.

Now all of those things seemed to circulate around Harry, and as much as I hated it, there was little I could do to fix it. Hopefully time would be the mender of all wounds.

At least I hadn’t let myself cry over it.

For a while, in the midst of my crippling pain, I lost track of time. I went about my days numbly, unfeeling, cyclically. 

When Liam and Zayn sat all the omegas down in the living room one day, however, I knew exactly how much time had passed- three weeks. It was time for them to break the news.

There were tears- not from me, but there were tears. There was sadness that the community and relationships that had been forged here would be broken by the closing of a symbolic, defining aspect of that community and those relationships, but there was no anger. There was no disappointment or outrage or disbelief, even. The other omegas, that I hadn’t even bothered to get to know when I’d had the time, thanked Zayn and Liam profusely, thanked them for all they’d done for them, and then they all retreated to the rooms that wouldn’t be theirs much longer.

Niall was sad, but also completely reminiscent. He- like most of the other omegas- started packing his things as soon as Zayn and Liam had broken the news, and after sitting on my bed, staring at his back as he put clothes that looked as though they belonged to an alpha into a backpack and talked about the fond memories he’d made in Liverpool since coming to the den, I eventually decided to pack up my things too. I tried to distract myself from my own inner agony by giving him an inquisition.

“How did you find out about this place?” I asked him. We were refolding extra blankets and sheets that had been in the top of the closet; our packed bags were sitting at the end of our beds on the floor. When everyone left and took everything with them, the hidden entrance to the omega den in the office would be sealed off completely, as would the door that lead from the den into Zayn and Liam’s space.

When everyone was gone, it would be as though the den was never here at all.

“My sister in law,” he replied.

“Sister in law?”

Niall wore alpha clothes, I’d known this since my first day in the den. It was practically the first thing I’d learned about my surroundings when I’d woken up in my bed- there was a flannel, and lots of other alpha clothes, with the word COOPER on it hanging in the closet.

My first thoughts had been that maybe Niall just preferred the oversized nature. Maybe he wore them as a form of protection, using the sight of him in an alpha’s clothes to try and discourage other alphas from approaching him.

Him having a sister in law, though, changed the story. It could mean that Niall had a sibling who was married, but it could also mean that he was once married. And bonded. And maybe still is one or the other.

“That’s what I said,” Niall smiled. I tossed the sheet I was done folding onto our pile on the ground, picking up another to shake out as I thought on his words.

Niall was closed off, that much was obvious. He didn’t speak of his past, didn’t give more detail than required of himself in any situation, and he was bad at conflict- when he wanted to be. The first time I’d met him he’d come across as extremely obedient and almost overwhelmingly submissive, but as time went on it came to light that he almost pretended to be that way as to form a false impression in others.

It was crazily manipulative, but also brilliant.

I stopped my sheet shaking to look at him. He had his back turned to me, folding a blanket and facing his bed. His bed was more bare than mine at this point; I’d left all the blankets and things I’d need to sleep on, but he’d taken the sheets and case off his mattress and pillows, leaving only a patchwork quilt and one uncovered pillow behind to use. His nightstand hadn’t had nearly anything on it before, and it was still the same- only a framed photograph I’d never taken the time to look at standing alone on its surface.

I walked towards him as he hummed a song under his breath, and when I knew he wouldn’t turn around to stop me in time, I grabbed the photo from his nightstand.

“What’re you- Louis, come on.” He spun around, letting his partially folded blanket fall to the ground in favor of reaching his hands out for the picture. I was too busy peering at it though, squinting, trying to make sense of the two smiling guys in the photo, to notice. They were two brunettes, one lightly tanned and one dark skinned, both smiling- almost stupidly happy- as they had their arms all wrapped around each other, shirts off, standing on a beach with their low-set bond marks proudly on display.

“This is _you_ ,” I eventually realized, incredulous, and it was. Niall was the tanned one, long brown hair that I’d never seen on him before tied back in a bun and eyes trained on the lens of the camera. The guy he was stood with, the much darker skinned one, had his head turned and gaze on Niall, glowing with adoration.

“Yeah, that’s why I have the picture,” he rolled his eyes, snatching the photo away, putting it behind him on the bed before he turned to face me again, arms crossed over his chest.

“Who’s that with you?” I pried.

“That is _none_ of your business,” and a thought popped into my head and out of my mouth before I could stop it.

“Is that Cooper?”

To say Niall was surprised would be an understatement.

“How do you know that name?” he asked, eyes narrowed, immediately on the defensive.

“I saw it on the tag of one of your shirts a long time ago,” I tried to explain, but Niall’s rapidly changing mood had been altered already; he wasn’t shocked anymore, but angry.

“ _Never_ say that name again. To _anyone_ ,” he snapped, and I held my hands up in surrender.

“Sorry,” I tried to placate, “I didn’t know it was a sensitive topic.”

He snorted. “Yeah, well-”

A knock at the door interrupted him.

“ _What_?” Niall called out, and we waited for someone to respond. After a few long moments of no response coming from whoever was waiting in the hallway, he threw his hands up in the air. “Holy Elements,” Niall muttered, “Are people incapable of speaking? Honestly, no one has common decency anymore,” he pulled the door open, “What do you want?”

I took a step closer to Niall’s bed from where I was stood in the middle of the room, trying to see into the doorway. I balked at what I saw.

“Hello,” a man greeted, and he _bowed_. “Zayn informed me that Louis Tomlinson was in this room,” he continued, and I jumped forward to stand behind Niall at the door.

He was tall and broad and older than myself by at least a decade, though ten years meant little. He wore a black t-shirt that almost blended into his skin and held an equally dark overcoat over one arm. There was a smile on deep colored lips and a glint in brown eyes that both put on me on edge and set me at ease all at once.

I did not trust him.

“I’m right here,” I said, cautious, and Niall looked back at me with eyebrows raised. I didn’t know what to say; I didn’t know this alpha- judging by his scent and stature either.

“It is very nice to meet you,” he said, and I placed a hand on Niall’s shoulder, pulling him with me as I took a step back from the alpha. Collectors James sent weren’t always bad-mannered; sometimes they were polite just to throw me off my rhythm.

“Why’re you here?” I asked, hand still lingering on Niall.

“Forgive me,” he said, “I did not mean to alarm you, omega-” _excuse me_ \- “But I have heard much about you from Harry.”

My throat tightened up.

“Harry?” I asked, “How do you know Harry?”

“I am-”

“Keanu!” a voice rang through the hallway, followed by a clatter of footsteps on the wood floor as someone raced towards us. It was a voice that was utterly earth-stopping to me, and when he came into view the ground proceeded to collapse under me.

“Harry?” I asked, voice small instead of the gaudy, confident tone I’d used with the stranger- Keanu?

“Omega.”

His hair was longer- it was the first thing I noticed when he came to stop beside Keanu in the doorway. It was dipping past his shoulders now, but the rest of his being was completely familiar to me, the exact same as it had been when he’d left three weeks ago. He had the biggest smile I’d ever seen on his face, and when his eyes met mine he breathed out what was a clear sigh of relief.

“What’re you doing here?” I asked, pushing past Niall to stand in front of Harry in the hallway; Keanu stepped aside.

“I have missed you so much, omega.” Harry ignored my question, instead pulling me into him, crouching down so I could put my face in his neck while he put his in mine. We inhaled together.

It was dramatic, and seemed impossible, but when my nose nudged Harry’s neck, every broken piece of me that had been smashed to the floor when Harry got on that train came back together, fusing until it was like they’d never been broken in the first place.

Elements, only weeks ago had I been convinced that Harry was right for me, simply because he would never be able to pick up my pieces.

Well, it definitely felt like I’d been wrong about that.

We leaned back, meeting each other’s gentle gazes, and when Harry leant back forward to kiss me I melted into him. I didn’t care that there was a stranger watching, that Niall was watching- kissing Harry was the pop of ten thousand bottles of champagne, the explosion of ten thousand firecrackers, the bang of ten thousand pans together. I was everything I’d been deprived of in the last three weeks, and it seemed like my inner omega was going to burst into tears at the overwhelming feeling of relief.

I pulled away, just staring at him; he had a dopey grin on his face and warm, comforting eyes.

“Omega,” he breathed, hands squeezing where they rested on my hips, gaze turning to the stranger a few feet away, “This is Keanu.”

“We just met,” I smiled, “He says you’ve spoken of me.”

A corner of Harry’s mouth quirked up, eyes darting down to the floor in embarrassment or flusteredness. “I…”

“Please, Louis, don’t blame him,” Keanu said, “He is only an alpha- he can’t help but rave of his omega.”

It was now my turn to look down at the floor. I wasn’t Harry’s omega, would never allow myself to be claimed and owned in that way even though it felt so embarrassingly good to be in his arms, but the sentiment was nice. Freedom, however, was nicer.

“Louis, uh, I’m just going to…” Niall jerked his thumb back over his shoulder, pointing into the room, other hand still grasping the door.

“Forgive me,” Keanu said, “I- _we_ didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

“We… we may can return to you later, if you wish, omega,” Harry added, eyes sincere yet… not. There was no chance I was going to willingly miss a chance to be with Harry, but Niall and I _had_ been in the middle of something; packing up our room was only a task that could be stalled so long with Lief’s arrival ever impending. Reluctantly I said, “Maybe that would-”

“No,” Niall interrupted, “It’s okay. Spend time with Harry and… Keanu, and I’ll finish up with our room.”

“Niall, are you-”

“Come off it, Louis, there’s hardly anything left to do. Besides, we’ve got plenty of time left before the baby actually comes.”

We didn’t know that. No one could know that. Yet I found myself agreeing, taking any out I could. “If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” and our door shut.

 

…

 

Harry was with Liam and Zayn, helping them pack up their private space. They had been the ones to request he come back from Scandinavia, and while it hurt he hadn’t just returned for me, I’d take whatever I could get when it came to him.

I had offered to help with Zayn and Liam’s packing- as had Keanu- but we were both immediately dismissed.

After a particularly crushing embrace between Liam and Keanu when they greeted each other, it had been the first thing out of Liam’s mouth. “Please, Keanu, make yourself at home, go rest. You are a visitor here.”

“Liam,” Keanu had sighed, “I accompanied Harry so I could help you and your omega. Doesn’t it seem counterintuitive that I would come only to be turned away from my intentions?”

“Keanu, come on now,” Zayn had said, “You’re family. We don’t make our family do physical labor on our behalf.”

“Harry is family,” Keanu pointed out.

“True,” Liam agreed, “But we feel no guilt in making Harry help us.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Harry quipped, “You should let Keanu help, Liam, if he is offering.”

But it was Keanu who stopped them, hand raised to cease the conversation. It appalled me the way Harry and Liam immediately shut their mouths, words they wanted to speak killed to lay on their tongues. I had yet to know who Keanu was to Harry and Liam, but two alphas would not show such respect and obedience to another unless he was important to them- personally or professionally. “No,” he decided, “I will not help you pack- _today_. I will spend time with Louis instead, if he is not opposed to it.”

My eyes bugged. “Me?” I pointed to myself. Keanu nodded. “Why?”

“Harry has chosen someone; they must be special. I like to know special people.”

This entire conversation felt wildly unusual. Never in my life pre-Harry had I been viewed as special or even worth while, but suddenly I was not only a valuable person, but also someone’s omega. It was strange, and I wasn’t sure whether or not it was completely welcome.

Harry didn’t fail to notice my mild discomfort.

“You do not have to, omega,” he immediately offered, “I will stay with you; Keanu will help Zayn and Liam.” He had already been beside me, arm around my shoulders, but he clutched me closer at his own words, folding me into his side, probably to satiate his inner alpha’s lust for our size difference.

Everyone was looking at me, waiting for my reply when I had none ready. I would’ve loved to spend the day with Harry, would’ve loved to do no more than sit in the same room as him, but I was not going to inconvenience anyone when there was another reasonable option ready for the taking.

“No,” I shook my head, “That’s okay. I’ll spend some time with Keanu- should be fun.”

 

…

 

“Louis,” Keanu said, “Are you ready to order?”

I snapped back to attention, noticing an omega waitress standing beside our table with a gentle smile on her face.

“I uh… yeah, I’ll have the…” I hadn’t even opened the menu. There had been complete silence between Keanu and I since we’d left Rhode Jewelers for lunch, mostly at the fault of my racing thoughts, and while Keanu had been a gentleman about the whole thing it was probably time I put some real effort in.

I opened the menu, reading the first thing I saw aloud. “Shrimp and garlic fettuccine?” I sort of asked, “Please?”

The waitress smiled, wrote down Keanu’s order as well, and then she was gone, leaving two glasses of soda at the table’s edge that I realized Keanu must have ordered on my behalf earlier. Elements, I needed to pull myself together.

“I’m sorry,” I stared at my hands folded in my lap, “I’ve been distant and… preoccupied since I saw Harry this morning. I just- I haven’t seen him in a long time, and it was a shock for him to return here, so I just… I just…” I didn’t know what I was trying to say.

“Omega,” Keanu said, and I curled in unconsciously at his address; Harry was the only one who called me that. “Do not apologize. I only know what Harry has told me of you, but from what I’ve heard, you are exceptional. However, I do understand that it’s hard to become accustomed to the way Scandinavian wolves like Harry, Liam and myself are so used to acting.”

Well, I mean, he wasn’t wrong.

He continued. “May I speak freely, Louis?” he asked.

“Go for it,” I smiled, and his eyes squinted as he grinned back.

“There is a saying in Scandinavia,” he said, “When it comes to family. ‘ _B_ _lod kan inte uppfylla lycka._ ’ ‘Blood cannot fulfill happiness.’” He took a sip of his drink before continuing. “In Scandinavia, family is very strong. Oftentimes, death is the only thing strong enough to break a relationship between two wolves.”

“I see.”

He looked at me a second, just staring at my face, never meeting my eyes, examining my thoughts through my facial expression. Then he looked away, sighing. “Louis, for much of his life, Harry has been dealt an unfair hand, full of death and crumbling of relationships. Has he spoken to you of his parents?”

“He has.”

“Then you know he lost them. Has he spoken to you of his uncle?”

“He… in moderation.”

Keanu nodded slowly. “For some years, the only people Harry was surrounded by people that only loved him for his capabilities in the military, who were not his family, but even his family were not always able to bring joy to his life. Then he met Liam and Zayn.” I smiled- I did not know where Harry, or myself for that matter, would be without Liam and Zayn. “Happiness entered his life once more in the form of two people he shared no blood with, but instead something stronger.” Keanu waited, almost expectantly, but I had nothing to say. Everything I was thinking Keanu could probably understand through my expression. “Omega, I have seen Harry go from a joyless shell of an alpha to a blooming, ecstatic one in our time, yet I have never seen him as happy as he was when he saw you this morning.”

Oh. That- oh.

“I… do not know why you’re telling me this,” I admitted, offering a half-smile to the waitress when she dropped off our food, waiting for Keanu’s answer as we both touched our silverware to our meals but did not bring them to our mouths.

“I am telling you this because I fear you will leave him one day, and he will return to the unhappy wolf he once was.”

My first instinct was offense. Then it switched to denial. However, on some level I knew that I would not be able to be with Harry much longer.

The unbelievable pain of being without him after such a short relationship would only be increased if we stayed together much longer. If that happened, I physically and mentally wouldn’t be capable of leaving him, and despite my skewed mindset lately, my freedom did need to be my first priority. I didn’t know if I could admit that to Keanu right now, though.

“He’s the one that left me, you know.”

Keanu nodded a moment, before asking, “I think your time apart only cemented in Harry’s mind that he _can’t_ leave you. At least not again.”

I was silent.

“Harry is private, is he not? Closed off?”

I didn’t know why Keanu was questioning me about this, but I agreed with him. “I’d say so.” Whenever Harry spoke of his past I always got the impression that he did not do it often.

“He does not speak of his own problems openly, doesn’t often reveal what he’s thinking or feeling. Usually I have to pry to get him to tell me what’s on his mind, but one look at him when he got to the DOS Airport and I could see the regret plain as day,” Keanu explained, “It took me one question, just one, before he began telling me of this amazing omega he’d found back in British Territory.”

My cheeks burned, and I lifted my fork to my mouth to try and get Keanu’s attention off of me. It worked; he started eating as well. My pasta was… I didn’t really taste it; there was far too much of my mind at the moment.

Eventually I had to ask what I was thinking. “Did he regret going back to Scandinavia?”

Keanu shook his head. “No, I don’t think so,” and disappointment washed over me. “I think he regretted not taking you with him.”

That was… not what I expected him to say.

I couldn’t lie anymore. “I like Harry very much,” I said, setting my fork back into my pasta and putting my hands on the table, “And he makes me the happiest I think I have ever been. But you’re right.” Keanu raised a brow, “One day I’ll leave him, if no other reason than to keep myself safe. I have a history that will keep us apart, no matter what either of us tries, and right now I am… just trying to enjoy what time I have with Harry before it ends.”

Keanu was silent, and I felt judged.

“I know that’s selfish, but Harry knows. This isn’t some situation in which he tries to court me and I run away- we both might be denying it to ourselves a fair bit, but we know deep down. We know. He knows. Please try to understand.”

Keanu nodded, eat another bite of his burger before responding. “I see. I apologize.” For what? “Your and Harry’s relationship is none of my business, and it is wrong of me to impede on your personal decisions, or give my opinion. I am just… protective of Harry, you could say.”

I set my hands in my lap, content on no longer eating. This conversation, while mannerly, had obliterated my appetite.

“Do you mind if I ask why?”

“No,” Keanu said, “That is okay. Like I said, Harry does not open up easily. To my knowledge, he’s never had feelings for an omega the way he does you, and it worries me how he’ll react to the next time you two are apart if he was already so upset when you two separated.”

He was worried about Harry. It was sweet, and almost fatherly, and I had never seen anything like it before between two alphas. It was weird; maybe all alphas in Scandinavia acted this way towards each other.

Keanu finished his meal while I sipped on my soda- Coke, good choice- in moderately comfortable silence until his phone rang, disturbing the quiet. He wiped his hands off on his napkin, smiling at me in apology before grabbing his phone from his pocket.

His raised an eyebrow at the screen. “It’s Harry.” I wasn’t about to tell him to answer his own phone, but I damn well wanted him to, though it didn’t matter. Eventually he flipped it open- yes, _flipped_ \- and lifted it to his ear. “Hello, Harry. Can I ask why you’re interrupting your omega and I’s meal?”

I couldn’t hear the conversation, but judging by Keanu’s rolling of his eyes, Harry was unnecessarily concerned for me.

“Harry, o’ ye of little faith-” _ah_ \- “I have not made your omega, uncomfortable. We’ve had a lovely conversation. We’ve spoken of you, actually.” He wasn’t lying, but Harry wasn’t apparently having it. “You do not need to come here, Harry, we’re just eating and talking. Well, I’m eating, your omega is not.”

Tattletale. Harry was gonna get on me for that later, I had few doubts.

“Harry, your omega is doing well. I greatly like him; he’s good for you, I think. You may speak to him if you doubt me.” I guess Harry was supposed to just trust Keanu’s word, but he didn’t. Keanu gave me an another apologetic half-grin, handing me the phone across the table.

“Omega,” he crackled across the phone. I closed my eyes at his voice, a smile dusting over my lips.

“Harry.” I tried to school my voice into something more appropriate in front of Keanu, but failed. 

“How are you?” he asked, voice slightly concerned.

“Keanu wasn’t lying to you when he said I was doing good. Your… Keanu is very kind, I see why you, Liam and Zayn love him.”

“Keanu is family,” Harry agreed, “But you are my first priority,” my inner omega beamed, “Would you like me to pick you up from your lunch?”

I laughed, and Keanu chuckled lowly too, apparently able to hear our conversation. Stupid alpha senses. “I’m not being accosted here, Harry. It’s been more pleasant than I thought it’d be, actually.”

“Then why aren’t you eating?”

Shit. I glared at Keanu across the table; he kept laughing in reply. “I wasn’t hungry.”

“Are you lying to me, omega?”

“I just lost my appetite, Harry- _I’m fine_.”

“I will come to you, omega, where are you?”

“Holy Elements, Harry- if you didn’t want me spending time with Keanu, why did you assure me he was simply _grand_ before we left?” It was a valid point- just before Keanu and I had walked out of the den, Harry had made sure to tell me how wonderful of a wolf Keanu was, and how he wouldn’t just send me off with someone he had no confidence in.

“I… please just tell me where you are, omega.” It didn’t sound so much like he was pleading, but instead like his inner alpha was pleasing, like if he didn’t know where I was he would go crazy.

I looked at Keanu, who wasn’t laughing anymore, but a shadow of a smile still remained on his lips. He nodded at me.

I held in a sigh. “We’re at Cornerstone Plaza- McCormick Family Diner.”

“I will see you soon, omega, I- goodbye.”

“Goodbye?” but Harry had already hung up the phone, leaving me to wonder what he had stopped himself from saying.

“Thank you,” I said, handing the phone back to Keanu, “I’m sorry for him, he’s just… protective of me, I guess.” Harry had been protective before he’d left, but it seemed like just as it had with me, our affections and tendencies towards each other had only intensified with our time apart.  

“I can tell,” Keanu laughed. “I meant what I said, by the way.” I raised an eyebrow. “You are good for him, even though you think you and Harry will split eventually.”

“I don’t know about that,” I rubbed at the back of my neck a second, “It’ll hurt both of us when I leave eventually. It might do us both some good to get it over with now.”

“Louis,” Keanu’s suddenly intense tone surprised me. “It is not my place, not even remotely, and I understand I am a stranger to you, but I beg of you: don’t walk away from Harry now because you’re scared of the pain.”

Even with my joy at seeing Harry, the pain I’d gone through in the past three weeks, even though I’d committed myself to avoiding the _thought_ of Harry at all costs, was horrifying. Going through it again would only be more heartbreaking. Crushing. Obliterating.

“Louis,” he reached across the table and grabbed my hand, “I am begging. Not just for Harry’s sake, but your own, even if you think your past will keep you apart in the long run, don’t break everything off with him now to make it easier.”

“I…” I took my hand back from Keanu’s, putting it my lap, “I will think about it.”

“Omega,” a voice behind me startled me out of my staring contest with Keanu, “Hello.”

“Harry,” I grinned, the sudden shift in my own mood momentarily throwing me, “You got here quick.”

He nodded. “I ran to you, omega- I am fast.”

I laughed. “You _ran_? Why would you do that?”

“Because I missed you.”

My wide, sunny grin melted down into a sweet smile. “I missed you too, Harry. Aren’t you going to give me a hug? Oh!” He swept me from my chair, pulling up from under my arms, holding me to his chest while he kissed me. _Mothers_ , it was so much better than a hug.

And when we pulled away and he bent down to scent me, I looked over his shoulder, right into the eyes of Keanu, who was still silently pleading with me.


	11. The Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit hits the fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all. Summer has been absolutely bitchin' for me lately, and because I've been having such a good month or two I figured I'd shake things up a bit here. Enjoy.  
> Phia

I was either never going to see Harry again or die trying. If it took everything in me- every breath, every heartbeat, every pump of my legs as I ran to the train station- I would manage to do it. I would evade him, I would keep out of his disgusting clutches.

But most importantly, I would never allow myself to be so weak again.

I couldn’t tell you when exactly I began to speak of Harry as I once did James and Daniel, but all the same, here we were. Here I was. Standing on the precipice of another fake life and leaving behind one alongside all the amateur mistakes I’d made during that unthinkable time.

I deserved this. I did, I deserved such a cruel hand from the Elements for being so stupid, so _omega_ driven.

This was my fault, but it would never happen again.

“Hi,” my face cramped in a foreign nature as I put on a smile for the omega at the ticket booth, “The overnight train to Brighton.”

“How many?” She also had a smile on her face, nose red from the biting cold. I wasn’t feeling it- I wasn’t feeling anything right then.

“Just me- one.”

I tossed some cash through the opening at the bottom of the ticket window, and she delicately took three bills, eyeing me cautiously. When she slid the extra money and ticket towards me, I slipped up- yet another rookie mistake. I _had_ to get myself under control if I was ever going to get to the JUD.

My sleeve had ridden up when I’d reached for the papers, blooming bruise catching her eye, her gaze catching mine. Her face was blank of her previous smile.

This was going to be the first place they looked, and if they asked this girl she was sure to remember me. A bruise covered omega in a jacket two sizes too small for him? Not exactly inconspicuous.

“Please,” I broke my voice, stuck my bottom lip out. The wind made my eyes water plenty without my own effort; I prayed it would be convincing. “My alpha likes to hit me,” I pulled my sleeve all the way up, showing the pattern of similar marks on my forearm; she gasped. “I just want to get away- go back to my mom’s house in Brighton. He’s going to look for me- don’t tell him I was here. I’m begging, don’t-”

“I won’t,” she shook her head, and stuck her hand under the opening of the ticket window to grasp my fingers in her own. “You have my word- I won’t ever say you were here.”

Idiot.

I wiped at my eyes, pushing out a single tear to fall down my cheek before I swiped it away, making sure she saw it. Omegas were played so easily- and I was no exception.

“Here,” she stopped me as I was sticking my extra bills in my coat pocket, clutching my ticket in my hand. She was giving me back the money for my ticket.

“Oh,” I sniffled, keenly aware of the train bells in the near distance, “May the Elements bless you. Thank you, thank you so much. I can’t-”

“Don’t mention it,” she shook her head, “Just keep yourself safe.”

 _I will_ , was the promise I made in my head, and I gave her a final look before I turned around, dropping the distraught look from my face when I knew it would be out of her sight.

Walking away, the question sped to the forefront of my mind- had I let myself be as easily manipulable as that omega? Clearly I had, or we wouldn’t be here.

Hell, what I would give to erase the last month of my life.

When the train arrived, I climbed on, peering carefully around me at the other passengers to look for any familiar faces, praying there weren’t any. Praying none of them could somehow magically guess what I was going through. In all reality though, I knew that I was just as oblivious to these people as they were to me.

All of the people didn’t know my situation, my reality, what had happened to me and would happen to me. And I was no better.

The alpha heading up the stairs to the top level of the train may have just been promoted or fired or broken up with, but I’d never know. No one would.

The omega who sat down across the aisle from me could’ve just seen her granddaughter off to college or be returning home from the funeral of her high school sweetheart that fate had pulled from her. Maybe she had regrets. Maybe she regretted everything.

Mothers know I did.

But when I pulled my jacket off and spread it over myself like a blanket, wishing with everything in me that I had kept myself together enough to remember my backpack at the den before dashing out the back door, I wasn’t thinking of my regrets. I wasn’t thinking of him. I was thinking of what laid ahead of me, of the overwhelming process of putting my heart back together and then into a locked box somewhere that was sure to come.

I was thinking of how tired I was of running.

 

…

 

TWO DAYS BEFORE BRIGHTON

“Do you know how to ice skate, omega?”

Keanu had excused himself from the diner not long ago, and after loitering in our booth as we chatted, we left and started walking through town. We were in the newer part of Liverpool, the higher class housing and shops. There was a park on the opposite side of the street from us; inside it, a skating rink.

I shook my head, “Never learned. My mom had been going to teach me, but we never got around to it.” She’d _loved_ ice skating- watched figure skating on the TV anytime it was on, even when I was little and begged her to switch to cartoons.

“May I teach you?”

A laugh escaped me. Harry, this big lug of an alpha that towered over me and nearly anyone else, being all graceful on ice skates? Not likely.

“You can skate?”

“There is much snow and ice in Keinovuopio,” he smiled at me through the dim light of the streetlamps, “Most pups teach themselves when they’re very young.”

Damn. Pups in Britwolf Territory didn’t do much at all when they were little- let alone teach themselves to ice skate. I’d been told by my mom before she died that I’d been the most energetic, curious baby she’d ever seen- out of the ordinary for a pup of Provincial England.

“I don’t think I’d be a good student,” swinging out entwined hands between us, I went on, “I’d probably end up hurting myself.”

“ _Omega_ ,” he groaned, “Must we go through this again?” A bench came into view not far ahead, and Harry let his speaking drop until we’d reached it and he’d pulled me down to sit on his lap. It was weirdly comforting, being so close to Harry that I had to tilt my head back to see his face as he cupped my cheek in his free hand. “Nothing will hurt you when I am here,” he finally finished.  

That wasn’t true. So many things could hurt me- snakes, James, spiders, James, car accidents, James, a flaming meteor, Daniel.

But he said it all the time- he always was telling me that he’d never let anything hurt me. Who was I to deny him my agreement, even when I knew it wasn’t true? “ _I know_ , okay? You’ve told me a billion times,” I hesitated, “You can’t protect me from myself, though.”

“Maybe,” he agreed, “But I can try.”

“Or _die_ trying.”

“Impossible, omega,” he kissed me until we had to break for air, “I am invincible.”

Sure he was. It wasn’t like one touch from me could make him come crumbling down or anything…

That was the last of the conversation. Harry had full intentions of kissing me until I agreed with him, springing a heavy kiss on me that was met with no resistance on my end, but it was a short lived affair.

Someone driving past in a car whistled and honked our way.

I thought nothing of it- I got cat called all the time just for walking down the street. Harry had a different take.

Body rigid, jaw clenched, he looked at me with such seriousness I found it difficult to control my laughter. “I did not like that at all, omega,” he announced, “That was very upsetting.”

Oh, come on. It was impossible- my laughter had to go somewhere. Harry only seemed more discouraged at that, though, so I was quick to try and school myself back to a collected state.

“Hey, hey,” I stroked his cheek until he looked at me a little softer, “It’s fine. I’m fine. How about I take you up on that ice skating lesson after all, yeah?”

 

…

 

It was nearing twelve in the afternoon the next day when we pulled into the station in Brighton. Omegas around me pulled their luggage off of racks, put books and crosswords into bags; alphas came down the stairs from above, tugging along suitcases and backpacks. I pulled my coat back on, making sure the pockets still had all my money in them. They did.

The doors opened, and off we went. Parents met children, boyfriends met girlfriends, friends welcomed friends into their city. I was alone, looking around for some sign of where I should go to get on with rest of my life.

I was so fucking alone, but I couldn't think about that yet. I’d hold that in until I was somewhere safe, somewhere I could think of the last couple days and break down without having to look over my shoulder.

There was a map of the entire city of Brighton towards the ticket booth of the train station, along with some newspapers and a couple vending machines. Despite my rumbling stomach, food wasn’t the first thing on my mind- I had to get across town to the Port of Brighton, and I had to figure out how to get there.

I looked at the map, trying to memorize the number of blocks I had to walk, when one of the newspapers to my right caught my eye. The headline was bold, ostentatious, and completely unsurprising to me.

 

**DANIEL LeBLANC, ENGLAND’S INT. COUNCIL REP, FOUND DEAD AT 32**

 

I turned my gaze back to the map- that was old news to me at this point. It was a few more minutes before I began walking off towards the port, only a fifteen minute walk away, rain pelting me from above; hopefully Provincial France would have better weather than England.

Elements- _France_. I had never had any hope of trying to get into another world power when Daniel was alive; he could request all ship cargo manifests or immigration papers and applications whenever he wanted. It had just never been worth the risk.

Now though, I could go wherever I wanted. And Harry- despite being a Great- didn’t have the political reach Daniel did. Hiding in France would be freedom- it was my one chance at a semi-regular life, and I wasn’t letting go of it now that I had absolutely nothing left to lose.

“Whoa now.”

Lost in my thoughts, I’d walked myself to the Port of Brighton- and also right into a fisherman. Alpha, from what I could smell.

“You going to France?” were the first words out of my mouth.

The Port of Brighton had ships coming in from harbors all around the world all the time, but by far the most common shipping came to and from Provincial France. It’s why I wasn’t shocked I’d found someone on the first try when he said- “Yeah, my crew’s leaving for Calais in about a half hour. What’s it to you?”

He didn’t sound indignant or suspicious, and while he didn’t seem sleazy he also didn’t strike me as an upstanding member of the community. He was probably looking for payment if he was going to be giving me any ride.

I pulled out my measly wad of cash from my pocket and held it out to him. “Is this worth adding a piece of cargo to your haul that’s not on any manifest?”

He peered down at me a moment, considering his options. He could certainly try to take it from me and not give me any ride at all, but the Elements most likely wouldn’t take too kindly to that- he had a tattoo of the Mothers on the left side of his neck, peeking up from under his shirt collar.

He shook his head at me, “Just get on, we were planning to pull outta’ port early.”

“No payment?” I asked, cautious.

“No payment,” he confirmed, “Consider it my good deed of the day.”

Well. Maybe I’m an even worse judge of character than I’d thought.

He pointed out the boat he worked- _Delilah_ \- and I got on. There was a cabin surrounding the steering wheel at the helm, and I found a seat in there, hidden from view of any crewmen and sheltered from the rain.

The boat got me thinking again- this time about Margaret. She’d been so kind when I’d ran in her store yesterday, dried my tears and gave me all the cash she had in the register; it was already dwindling. Fuck- when she’d met Harry that one time that seemed so long ago now, she’d been unconvinced of him. I should’ve put more stock in her judgement.

I would never be able to repay her for calming me down and sending me on my way to the train station when I came to her- maybe I’d be able to send her some replacement cash when I got myself settled in France, or wherever I decided to go once I got in the JUE.

“So you’re the cargo Jerry let on board.” A burly, bearded alpha came into the windowed room to take his place at the wheel, yellow raincoat dripping onto the floor.

“That’s me.”

“Last chance to get off,” he said, but I shook my head at him.

“Just get me out of England.”

I didn’t watch as we pulled out of the port and into the channel; leaving behind that hell hole was no skin off my back and certainly no emotional endeavor.

The waves rocked _Delilah_ gently, and for the most part it was quiet on board; I occasionally heard or saw crewmen running about on deck, but that was the extent of it. For an overcast day with a gray sky, nasty wind and rain to match, the sea wasn’t particularly bad at all. Perhaps the Elements were finally having mercy on me.

The alpha at the wheel eventually broke the silence that had settled between us.

“I’m Mack- _Delilah_ ’s my boat. Care to share?” he asked, and I snorted.

“Not really in a talking mood, _Mack_.”

“Well,” I could hear the patience in his voice, “Considering I allowed you on my boat, I’d say you at least owe me your name.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’ll let you know when I figure that out.”

“And when will that be?”

“Sometime after we get to France.”

“Ah,” he noted, tone knowing, “You’re trying to reinvent yourself.”

Silence.

“Something like that.”

 

…

 

ONE DAY BEFORE BRIGHTON

I woke up in Harry and I’s mess of blankets on the living room floor cold, alone, and still in my clothes that I’d worn all of yesterday.

As it turned out, I’d been wrong- every time Harry had let go of me and tried to let me skate on my own my feet would promptly fly out from under me, and every time Harry had been right there to catch me.

Standing up, however, I still felt the pain of ice skating even if hadn’t fallen. Exercising like that was a rarity for me, and the reminder my back blessed me with was completely unnecessary. Ugh- my clothes were too hot and heavy for the room; I needed to change.

Walking over to Niall and I’s room, neck throbbing, I sniffed around for Harry’s scent. It had been strongest back in Liam and Zayn’s apartment, meaning he was probably somewhere back there and I’d walked past him or missed him, but it didn’t really matter to me. I would find him later, after I changed my clothes and- maybe- took a shower.

Opening the door to Niall and I’s room, I made sure to be quiet since the dim sun coming through the window meant one of two things. It was either still early or- in keeping consistency- rainy. Maybe it was both. Either way, I didn’t want to wake the sleeping boy in the bed that I came across when I walked into our room.

It still looked exceptionally barren with all our things packed, my bag still sitting all lonely-like at the foot of my bed. The blue walls were a melancholy shade now, and my sheetless bed was saddening. That bed had offered me so much comfort while I’d been here.

It took me just a moment before I was leaving the room again, clothes changed and heading for the bathroom, and only a bit more time before I was returning, smelling good and freshly showered. I dumped my towel on the floor in Niall and I’s room, and turned to head for the kitchen- not really eating with Keanu yesterday hadn’t been my smartest idea.  I never made it to the kitchen, though.

“Louis!” A hand grabbed me just as I was about to walking into the kitchen, yanking me back into the living room. Shaking off the person’s grip, I met their eyes- Jeremy. We had barely glanced at each other since that day in the living room so long ago.

“What’s wrong?”

He eyes were wide, and his hand had made its way back to me, this time clutching my forearm. “Are you with that alpha? Harry?” he asked, worry lacing his tone, “Are you with him, like, seriously?”

My eyebrow rose. “What does it matter?”

“Come with me- right now,” he said, face contorted in concern. I was too confused- and a little too sleepy even after that shower- to be dealing with this, but he didn’t care. Jeremy was adamant, and I didn’t have it in me to protest when he started towing me towards the flight of stairs that would lead down into the office.

“Are you okay?” I asked, halfway down the stairs. His grip was still tight around my arm, and it was hard not to trip down the steps with him partially in front of me.

“ _I’m_ fine,” he assured, “Not sure you will be, though,” and I balked, heels digging into the bottom step of the stairs. The panel that hid the secret staircase was already moved aside; Jeremy had been down here already.

“What’s that supposed to m-” his free hand came down over my mouth, other pulling me along behind him as we stepped into the office and off the stairs, heading towards the door.

“Silent,” he demanded, letting me go at long last, finger coming up to press against his lips. What in the fuck was the matter with him? What was he talking about?

He walked backwards facing me in the dark room, moving towards the door and compelling me after him. No lights were on around us, and the office was devoid of windows; the only light was spilling from under the door that lead into the shop.

“I’m sorry,” he said when he couldn’t back up any further, “But you need to listen.”

 

…

 

We drifted into the Port de Calais in mid afternoon, sky bright and cloudless on the north-western coast of France, a welcome change from England’s consistent and constant cover of clouds. There had been little more talk between Mack and I as we’d spent the next hour and a half crossing the channel, but after he’d sworn he’d never speak of my presence on his ship, he stopped me just before I was going to depart.  

“I’ve got a son,” he blurted, “And I don’t mean to assume, but you seem like you’ve been on the streets.” I didn’t respond. “It makes me wonder if you’ve seen him.”

A sigh escaped my lips without permission. “What’s his name?”

“Jeremy.”

An instinctual rigidity came over me, something uncontrollable that I doubted went unnoticed. He couldn’t _possibly_ mean the Jeremy I’d befriended at the den.

“I don’t…” my mouth moved on its own accord, head shaking.

“Please,” Mack was pleading now, “My mate’s been losing his mind over this. Me being away for long whiles can’t be helping him, either- I live all the way in the countryside, just come out here for work.”

It was- this was him. This was Jeremy’s dad, the one who’d been willing to sell him to his best friend’s son.

“I haven’t…”

If anything, I needed to have loyalty to the people who’d been good to me at the den- Zayn, Liam, Niall, _Jeremy_. Jeremy most of all- he had done me such a service; I would still be at that freaking den if not for him. I had a duty as his fellow abused omega to protect him, but a bigger duty as a friend who could not even start to repay him for what he'd given me. 

“Why did he run away?” I asked, glancing at the crewmen behind the windows unloading things in the harbor. France was so close, and all I wanted was to just step down onto that ground embodying freedom.

“I made mistakes,” Mack shook his head, “A lot of them. Where we live, it’s… different for omegas than down here. But I swear to you, I would never make him feel the same- make the same mistakes if he’d just come home.”

I looked Mack in the eye, scrutinizing every feeling that was seeping through his gaze. He was genuine- I knew it just from a second glance at him. He truly would act differently, act correctly should Jeremy come home.

But everyone doesn’t get second chances. Everyone doesn’t deserve to know the great people their children have become.

“I’ve never met your son,” his face fell, “Sorry.”

Turning away from Mack, I walked out of the cabin- sparing no fleeting looks over my shoulder- and onto the deck. The sunshine beat down, hit me in the face like someone had punched me, and I couldn’t explain the joy that came over me because of it. That precisely what it was- inexplicable. _This_ was freedom- or at least as close as I’d ever come.

I went around the deck, tying my jacket around my waist as I went, until I reached the platform that would lead down to the dock below. _France_.

“Vive les Éléments.”

 

…

 

ONE DAY BEFORE BRIGHTON

I pressed my ear to the door as Jeremy did the same, holding my breath, painfully aware Jeremy wouldn’t pull something like this for nothing.

At first, I couldn’t hear anything. Then footsteps. And then… Harry’s voice. And Keanu’s.

“I did not know what to do,” Harry’s voice was well muffled through the door, “He convinced me I had a duty to him as he did me because of Force 3.”

“Harry-”

“I was still young when he got the others to respect me as their leader; he made it happen, and he did not let me forget.”

“ _Harry_ -”

“I did not know how to defy him! Before I ever had a relationship with you, Keanu, he was like a father to me. I didn’t know what to do!”

“ _Alpha_!” It was unnerving to hear Keanu emit such a strong, dominant alpha tone in such a low volume. He’d practically whispered. “Calm yourself, alpha,” he said, “You have been rambling on in nonsense for minutes now. Tell me what has happened, tell me how I can help you.”

A moment of silence passed between them before a sigh did the same.

“I have made decisions I cannot undo.”

I could picture him- brows furrowed, hands in his own hair. Everything in me wanted to run in there and comfort him.

“That is true,” Keanu agreed. “What decisions were they?”

“I allowed someone to be above the eye of rationality in my mind.”

“Go on, alpha.”

Harry hesitated, and then exploded in few words no harsher than a single feather dusting the ground, “I am in love with Louis.”

I nearly hit the ground.

“I am in love with Louis,” he went on, “And I’ve known it from the minute I stepped on the train to leave Liverpool.”

Keanu was laughing, while I- oblivious to him- had to fight to stay on my feet. “I think everyone except your omega knows," he said, "Will you tell him?”

Harry’s gulp could be heard through the door. “Every moment I have been with him I have wanted to, but I cannot.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I am not supposed to love him.”

No, he wasn’t. Harry was far too good for me, deserved someone far better than me, was baggageless while I had enough for everyone to share. Harry most definitely wasn’t supposed to love me, and I wasn’t supposed to love him.

But hearing him say that now… I was questioning just if I did or not. And to be honest, it wasn’t really a question at all.

“Alpha, you are as well studied in the story of creation as I am, are you not?”

“I am.”

“Then tell me- tell me the story of mates.”

I knew this. I knew this story like the back of my hand- my mother told me the entire story of creation every night before bed. I could recite it word for word straight from memory to this day, even if I hadn’t heard it in years.

“Three of our mothers were created- Earth, Air, Water. The Mothers of Fate,” he paused, collecting himself. “And with these three mothers, the Great Warrior created life.”

“And for every life there was another,” Keanu added.

“A soulmate,” he said, “These two lives were bound by fate.”

“But fate was not enough.”

“Fate was not enough,” Harry agreed, “There needed to be balance, and from the Mother of Balance- Fire- came new soulmates. But again,” he sighed, “They weren’t right.”

“Exactly,” I could feel Keanu’s eyes piercing into Harry’s. “And then the Great Warrior and the Elements created mates, bound to destiny by the very Mothers themselves. So I ask you, Harry,” he paused, “Who are you to question the Mothers’ destiny for you?”

“I am… it is wrong of me.”

“Yes.”

“But Louis and I cannot be together.”

“Why?”

I had trusted Harry with my deepest truths, my most well kept secrets. I did not know what I would do if he told them to Keanu; it would probably break my heart.

“Because he is James’.”

I felt each individual nerve in my body go aflame.

I had never told him James’ name. Never. Not once.

“Who is James?”

“Retired, decorated Force 3 Lieutenant James LeBlanc.”

No.

“The lieutenant who saved thirty men fifteen years ago," Keanu recalled aloud.

“Yes. When he retired from injury he moved to England to be closer to his half brother- a man named Daniel- and Louis was sold to him by his father.”

“Harry, Louis would not be here without reason. _You_ would not be here without reason- was it James who manipulated you? Was it him?”

“He said that he had made my career!” My heart fell out through my stomach. “He said I needed to keep my loyalty to him just as much any other soldier- that I would be doing a disservice to Skandivarg Corps if I did not! I… I did not know how to refuse him.”

“Harry,” Keanu seemed to be calming himself, “What did James ask you to do for him?”

I held my breath, head swimming. _Please let this all be a misunderstanding_ , _please_ -

“He asked me to find Louis, to make him trust me. And then I was to bring him to him.”

I had- this was- this was my worst nightmare.

Harry was still talking. “When I left Liverpool for Sweden three weeks ago, I was supposed to meet James to tell him of any progress. I lied and said it had been very slow-going in getting Louis to trust me. James said to keep going- as long as it takes.”

“Harry… you…”

“I know I am a horrible wolf, a horrible alpha, Keanu, but I swear the moment I met Louis I knew I would not go through with it. I would lie my whole life if I had to, but I would not send him back to James.”

“What, you would spend the rest of your life lying to the omega you’ve gotten to swoon for you?” There was contempt in Keanu’s voice I had never heard directed at Harry before- at _anyone_. Judging as Harry was unable to speak for a few seconds, I was guessing he’d also never heard that contempt.

“I do not think I will have to lie anymore.”

“Oh, and why is that?”

“Because James’ brother Daniel is dead.” _What_? “Daniel LeBlanc was the International Council Representative for Provincial England. With his relation, James was able to live here and travel anywhere freely, but now that Daniel is dead-”

Keanu put two and two together. “He will have to forfeit is international freedom if he does not return home soon. He’ll have to forfeit his Scandinavian nationality if he stays in England.”

“Yes,” Harry breathed, “And he will not go back. He has built a business here, a life. With Daniel gone, Louis could come with me to Scandinavia and we would never have to spare another breath on James LeBlanc. I would never have to tell Louis about any of it…”

I did not feel the exact moment I began to fall backwards. I did not feel Jeremy narrowly catch me, lay me on the office floor, wave a hand in front of my face until I was brought out of my stunned reality.

The only thing I did feel was the crushing, harrowing feeling of deceit. Of every shred of trust, of joy, of anything good leave you forever at the hands of someone you’d… you’d fallen in love with. Because I had. And what pained me the most, I think, was not that Harry had done this, or that I had been so blind to let him. It was that I was still in love with him even after hearing this, and that was something I couldn’t get rid of or even lose instantaneously. It was something I would have to let time deal with.

Time’s a bitch like that.

And with that lovely, _lovely_ revelation, I climbed to my feet, horrifyingly realizing that the frantic look that had once been in Jeremy’s eyes was now in mine.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, and I didn’t realize I was crying until I felt the wetness on my cheeks. I didn’t bother to wipe at my tears.

“I… I…” I had absolutely no idea what to say. “I have to leave,” is what eventually struck me. And sparing one last look at him, one last look at the fucking office that both ruined and saved my life, I turned around and dashed for the stairs, thoughts on one place and one place alone: anywhere but this godforsaken jewelry store.


	12. The New City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis starts anew in France.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all. Honestly, I wrote this because I got a comment like four or so days ago that asked when the next chapter was going to be up, and it sort of spurred me into action. It was kind of a "Oh wow, people are actually still interested in this," sort of moment. So, thanks @PerfectNight. I guess you're to thank (or blame) for this chapter, in a way.  
> Phia

For the first time in a long time, I was living a legal life. I wasn’t stealing, I wasn’t faking identities- well, after the first French one- and I wasn’t staying in illegal dens anymore. 

I had _asylum_. In the _JUE_. _Legally_. I had a job, and an apartment, and even a fucking savings account in a bank that I got through legalchannels. I had friends that lived down the hall from me, and enough food in my fridge to keep me full, and my first new pair of shoes in a long time. And I’d only been here three weeks. 

France had been the most accommodating, welcoming place I’d ever set foot. I was a random, immigrant omega from British Territory who’d been a victim of domestic abuse for years, and apparently Provincial France saw that as sufficient reason to grant me asylum. It was almost unbelievable. They’d given me resources for finding work, a place to stay, and even a government allocated €500 that every asylum seeker- approved or not- was permitted by the Provincial Council of France. I couldn’t have picked a better province to go to. 

During my first days in Calais, I was respectably paranoid. I got a job at a bakery, stayed in a boarding room at the Centre D’aide Omega downtown, and put a down payment on a cheap flat that would keep me safe and warm and comfortable. Even still, with every corner I rounded, every step I took, I was looking over my shoulder. 

I knew that, at a moment’s glance, everything I’d somehow wound up with in France could be ripped away. Though I was- for the first time in probably ever- confident in my safety while in Calais, the life I was living here was precarious. I had French asylum. By International Council law, unless charged with a crime back in British Territory, British councils could not remove me from Provincial France. I was here to stay under law, but if someone, say, tried to _kidnap_ me, nothing was essentially stopping them if they weren’t caught. 

So, it was crucial Harry never found out where I was, if he was even still looking for me. 

I hadn’t contacted Niall, or Jeremy, or Margaret. I’d wanted to, _especially_ Margaret, but any postage transported between world powers was stamped with the seal of the world power it came from, even if there was no return address. If someone- _Harry_ \- somehow got that letter, they’d know it came from France. I couldn’t risk that. 

So, essentially, I was washing my hands of my life in British Territory. I wasn’t Louis Tomlinson anymore- though few knew me as that. I was now, and permanently, Nathan Spade. And I was fucking grateful for it. 

 

… 

Two weeks later 

 

“Nate?”

I turned at my station, brushing my hands off on my apron. Within the past five weeks working here, I’d found that I was always, _always_ covered in something during work hours. It was Keira- the mid-thirties alpha who owned this place, Boulangerie Rosetta, named for her mate- who’d called for me, and who was standing in the doorway to the work room. 

“Hi,” I greeted, smile on my face, “what’s up?”

“You know how I’ve been meaning to fill Gabriel’s position?” she asked. Of course I did. Gabriel had just left his position as manager last week, and I was vying for it, though it wasn’t likely I would get it. It would be nice though, to have more than the lowest level job somewhere for once. 

“Nate,” she said, sighing, “I know you wanted it, but you just haven’t been working here long enough.” Damn. “You’re a model employee,” she assured, “and a hell of a hard worker, but it just wouldn’t be realistic to promote you something four ranks up with no more than five weeks here under your belt. I’m sorry,” she apologized, but I just shook my head. 

“It’s alright,” I said, “I’m happy where I am. Honestly, I’m just glad to work here,” and it was the truth. Though I got paid the least out of everyone, it was good money. It kept me stable, and gave me some cash to spare after all the bills at the end of the month. I had nothing to complain about. “So, who ended up getting the job then?” I asked. 

There was relief on Keira’s face at my easygoing reaction, and she let out a happy breath before saying, “That’s actually why I came here in the first place. Antoine!” she called, and a few moments passed before a tall, deeply tan alpha appeared in the doorway. Like the rest of us, he was covered in an apron and unspecified white powder. “This,” she gestured to him, “is the new manager.” 

“Bonjour,” he greeted, holding his hand out to shake.

I stretched mine towards him, a small welcoming expression on my face. “Nate Spade.” 

“Antoine LaRoux,” he introduced. “You’re the decorator?”

I nodded. “Cookies, cupcakes, cakes, miscellaneous bread things. I’m also the bearer of the broom,” I pointed to where it leaned against the wall in the corner. He chuckled, a deep laugh that was almost surprising in its bass, but shouldn’t have been. His voice was markedly deep, even for an alpha. 

Keira smiled at us. “I have to go back out front,” she said, “you two stay and chat awhile,” and she left. Keira really was a great boss, always understanding about doctors appointments or phone calls that we might have to take during work. As long as you were good at your job and nice to the customers, that was really all she cared about. The bakery was a good place to be while under her. 

“So,” Antoine began, coming stand beside me while I turned around to start frosting again, “how long have you worked here?” 

“Not long,” I shrugged, scooping icing into a piping bag, “a bit over a month or so.” Small talk, while comforting sometimes, had never been my forte. And after everything that had happened with _him_ back in Liverpool, I had never been more on edge when it came to alphas. I preferred a minimum of five feet between me and any of them and a maximum of ten words spoken between us. It didn’t usually go that way, though. 

Antoine nodded at me. “Keira speaks very highly of you. She says beauty is important in desserts and that you are good with fine details.” I shrugged again, grabbing a cupcake to start on. “I like the business part of baking as much as I do the actual act,” he went on, and I listened quietly. “It’s why I wanted the manager position here so badly.”

“That’s nice,” I hummed, trying to be polite. It wasn’t in a dismissive way, but a way that let him know I was putting in a little effort. Through my life thus far, I’d found most alphas preferred you just listened to them talk and occasionally assured them of your attention. In what was now twenty years, I’d only encountered two or three alphas that weren’t like that, and all of them had been in Liverpool. 

“It is," he agreed. "The whole reason I moved to Calais to try and get a job in pastries." 

It didn’t surprise me. There seemed to be a bakery or pastry shop on every corner in this place. Apparently, I’d unknowingly moved to the dessert capital of Provincial France. It was why I was glad my mother had made me do so much baking with her when I was younger; having skills in the culinary arts made it exceptionally easy to get a job in this city. 

“How long have you been in Calais?” he asked. 

“About five weeks,” I stuck my tongue out the side of my lips as I worked on a flower, “I’ve worked here nearly as long as I’ve lived here.” 

“I see.” He paused a moment, contemplating something. Then, “Did you move here with your alpha?” The cupcake slipped out of my grip, and landed on the table frosting side down. Great. 

I slowly turned to meet his gaze, questioning look in my eye. “Excuse me?” In the Jurisdiction of United Europe, and France especially, it was considered taboo- borderline offensive- to ask about an omega’s mating status to their face. 

Antoine rolled his eyes at me. “Oh, come on,” he laughed, “don’t get your panties in a twist, little one.” 

 

…

Two weeks later

 

“Still ignoring me?” 

It was dark outside the windows of Boulangerie Rosetta, the hour late. I was still in the bakery, finishing up some cookies we needed for a party tomorrow, sitting on a swiveling stool at my metal table in the work room. No one else was still here, except for-

“Antoine, I thought I told you to leave me alone.” 

“Marcus went home half an hour ago- who else am I supposed to talk to?”

“Not me,” I huffed. After our first interaction however long ago it had been, Antoine hadn’t proved himself to be any better a person. If anything, his flirting with customers and other omega employees only solidified my impression of him from our first conversation.  

I heard him sigh. “Come on, li-”

I put my spatula down with an- admittedly- unnecessary amount of annoyance. “Why don’t you quit while you’re behind and go back to wiping down the front counter,” I suggested, eyes narrowed. He, unsurprisingly, was grinning at me, glad to have gotten a real reaction for once. 

He strolled over, leaning back against my table. I glared at where his back touched the edge; he was contaminating my space. “Nate, I really don’t understand your problem with me,” he drawled, “I’ve been nothing but nice to you.”

“Oh, have you?”

“Yes, I have.”

Please. Antoine, while being harmless, was annoying, and nice wasn’t particularly the word I’d use to describe him. “ _Elements_ , Antoine, is it really so hard to understand that I just don’t like being around you?” I shot a glance his way before going back to icing, not failing to notice his incredulous expression.

“Don’t like being around me?” he asked, “ _How_?”

“Mothers,” I muttered, “I guess it really is hard to understand.”

“How don’t you like being around me?” he asked again, “I’m great.”

“Antoine,” I started a new cookie, “just let it go. I’m gonna be here until opening tomorrow frosting these, and I just want to listen to some music and _not_ make idle conversation with _you_.” 

“Then let me help.”

I balked. “Let you help?”

He nodded. “It’ll go faster with two people. And I’m tired of you not liking me.”

“Helping me frost cookies isn’t going to magically make me like you.”

He shrugged. “Maybe,” he conceded, “but it’s a start.”

  


… 

2 months later

 

I woke up to a knock on my door, jerking up in a mess of tissues and a burrito of blankets. 

“Go away,” I mumbled, shoving my head under a pillow only to throw it off my bed a moment later when I was reminded that I couldn’t breathe through my nose. Fuck being sick. I’d caught a nasty cold in the past few days- despite it being literally _March_ \- and I’d done little more than sleep and blow my nose. And right now, despite my clock saying it was nearly eleven in the morning, I would’ve rather thrown up again than get out of bed.

I didn’t realize I closed my eyes again until more knocking sprung them open. 

“Who the fuck…” I muttered to myself as I rolled out of bed. It was Tuesday- eleven in the morning on a Tuesday in March. Who didn’t have shit to do? 

I wrapped myself in several blankets once both my feet were on the floor and trudged out of my room to the door, standing on my tiptoes to look out the peephole. 

What the fuck? 

“Antoine?” I questioned, undoing the locks. “What are you doing here?” 

“I…” he shifted his weight from foot to foot, “I brought soup.” Turning my gaze down, I noticed that yes, in his arms, was a big Tupperware container of soup. Oh. 

“Um…” I didn’t really know what to say. While Antoine and I were on exceptionally better terms than we started on, we weren’t the type of friends to show up at each other’s apartments unannounced, especially since- “How do you know where I live?”- I’d never given him my address before. 

“Oh,” he said, “Keira asked me to bring this to you-” he glanced down at his soup- “And gave me your address.” Huh. Made sense, I suppose- Keira would have it on file in my employee record. She didn’t seem like the type to cook soup for someone though, no matter how good a boss or person she was. 

We stood there a moment, just looking back and forth at each other. 

“Do you wanna come in?” I eventually asked. It was probably more than obvious that _I_ didn’t want him to come in, but it was polite to ask. Besides, Antoine was the least threatening alpha I’d ever met. He was arrogant, sure, but not intimidating. An odd combination, but a nice one for omegas that had to work with him. 

“I mean… yeah, okay.” 

We walked to the kitchen, Antoine setting the soup in the fridge while I plopped myself down at my table. It, much like my bed, was covered in tissues; the placemats probably needed to be sterilized. “Sorry about the mess,” I said as Antoine sat in the other chair, “I haven’t been out of bed much the past few days.”

He waved me off. “Don’t be,” his eyes focused on my nose, “you’ve got a good excuse.”

I sneezed. “Yeah, sure.” 

“I’m sorry you’re feeling so shitty,” he said.  It was clear he didn’t really know what to say, and I couldn’t blame him. We were decent friends at work, but we didn’t spend time together otherwise. Despite us having an actual friendship, he still wasn’t really my type of person. 

“Don’t be.”

After an awkward shift in his chair, he fixed me with an odd look. “Nate, can I get your advice on something?”

I leaned back in my own chair. “I can’t guarantee it’ll be helpful, but I can give it if you really want.” Advice-giving wasn't one of my strong suits; Antoine nodded all the same. “Okay,” I sniffled, “shoot.”

It was silent a moment, just the sound of me sniffing and him sighing filling the air before he blurted out, “I really like someone.”

“Okay?” I offered when he didn’t go on. 

“And I know that they don’t feel the same about me, but I just can’t get over them.”

“Uh,” I looked away from him momentarily, thinking, “you’ve told them you like them, then?” 

He hesitated. “I… not exactly, no.”

“Then how can you know they don’t feel the same?” I was the _last_ person someone should come to for relationship advice.  

“I just know.”

I rolled my eyes. “You can’t _just know_. People are good at hiding things.” I would know. 

“So you think I need to tell them?” 

“Look,” I leant forward, making sure I had all of his attention, “you’ll never get over them if you don’t know for sure. You’ll always be holding onto some possibility that they feel the same way for you, even if it’s subconscious.” He nodded when I paused. “Just bite the bullet and move on with your life.” 

“Bite the bullet?”

“Bite the bullet.”

“Then I guess this is the part where I tell you it’s you.”

“What’s me?” 

“The person I can’t get over. It’s you.”

“ _What_?”

 

… 

2 weeks later

 

“Nate you can’t just avoid him forever.”

“I can try,” I argued. Clara and I were frosting together on a Friday morning; we’d come in early to help her get more technique practice since she was a relatively new hire. She was also the only person that knew about Antoine’s feelings for me and my vehement avoidance of anything having to do with him starting after he’d left my flat. 

“It was sweet… he brought you soup,” she countered, laying some frosting on far too thick. I smiled at her, gently got some of it off using an offset, and set her back to work. 

“Soup doesn’t change the fact that I don’t feel the same,” I paused, “besides, he didn’t even make that soup. Keira did.” 

“Oh, _come on_ ,” Clara laughed, “you’re so brutal you’d think you’ve already lived ten lives. How many hearts have you broken?” 

I looked anywhere but at her. “When it comes to my relationships, the only heart that’s ever been broken is mine.” But I hadn’t thought about him in months, and I wasn’t about to start now. 

She laughed again, her good spirits never faltering. “So you’re refusing to get feelings for anyone because you’ve gotten your heart broken a couple times?”

“Hey- once. It was _once_.” Despite myself I laughed with her. 

“You gotta see how ridiculous this is,” she shook her head, “Antoine still _really_ likes you, it’s clear as day. You should give him a shot.”

“Okay, fine, whatever- the only problem with that is that I honestly _do not_ like him that way.” 

“ _Nate_ ,” she grabbed me by my shoulders, spinning me towards to face her on our stools, “maybe if you go out to dinner with him, you’ll _start_ to like him.”

Unlikely. I turned away, a smile still playing at my lips as we began to frost again. “I don’t think so, Clara.”

I hadn’t looked at another alpha like that since _him_. I hadn’t even thought of another alpha that way. It was hard enough to even be in a room with alphas closely since that lying sack of shit, and frankly, finding an alpha was probably never something I’d pursue again. 

He’d ruined me, and at this point I could say that that was fine. Before him, I’d never thought I’d find an alpha, and after him, I was back to that same, familiar place. Not a big deal. Not something I was even concerned with anymore. 

I had accepted it. 

“Nate, eighty years from now, you’re gonna wake up and wonder why you didn’t scoop up the hot alphas when you had the chance.”

A twinge of pain shot through my chest, and I ignored it. “Hey,” I shoved her with a grin, “I’m still gonna be bangin’ at one hundred.”

 

… 

One week later

 

“You look bangin’. Damn.” Antoine was stood in my doorway, bouquet of flowers in hand. Sunflowers- my favorite. 

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” I greeted. He was in dress shirt and slacks- both black, and I was dressed to match in dark jeans and a black sweater, some new things I’d gotten a couple days prior. I’d lived in France for months now, and been financially stable for very nearly all of that time, yet buying things for myself out of pure _want_ was still so odd. I was getting better at it though; I’d recently bought a few pillows just on the basis that I thought they looked nice. Which had felt… weird. 

I put the flowers in a vase on my kitchen counter and we left, taking a taxi to some restaurant Antoine had given a rave review of. When we got there, he opened the car door for me and paid for the ride, and when we got inside, he pulled out my chair for me at the table. 

“A proper gentleman,” I mumbled.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

The dinner was quiet, with easy conversation flowing. Antoine asked my opinion, cared about my answers, and while I’d doubted this, I found myself having more fun than I’d had in awhile. By the time our plates were empty, I’d gotten the strong sense that he was a much better alpha than I’d given him credit for in the beginning. 

Dessert was nice, both of us agreeing that Boulangerie Rosetta’s pastries were much better, but the beignets were good despite our harsh critiques. When we were finished, he paid the bill- with only minimal argument from me- and we left. 

Getting home, time seemed to move slower than it had during dinner. 

A gentle touch on my waist in my threshold turned into a gentle peck on the cheek, and then something more. From a kiss blossomed hands on zippers and buttons, and from then on went to tripping steps and strained breaths as we stumbled further inside my apartment, door swinging closed behind us. And as I felt every touch of Antoine’s fingers, every kiss of his lips, I was struck with the unconquerable feeling that everything I’d suffered with for however many months was slowly melting away. The hurt, and the betrayal, and the heartbreak were _finally_ fading into oblivion, and it was so overwhelming that I almost didn’t realize I had begun to cry. 

I was letting him go. I was letting Harry go. 

And when Antoine comforted me and apologized as though he’d done something wrong, I cried harder. Because even though I wasn’t in love with Antoine in the way I had been with Harry, I trusted him. I trusted this alpha. And I- despite what I may have thought- never _truly_ had that with Harry. 

 

…

Three months later 

 

“Do you wanna move in with me?”

“You do realize it’s four in the morning, don’t you?” 

“Do you wanna move in with me?”

“Antoine… I am barely functioning right now.” 

He pulled my shoulder down so I would roll over to face him. So much for early morning spooning. 

“Nate… I wanna see you every morning when I wake up.”

“You already do, you knothead,” I laughed. He had a drawer at my apartment, and I had a drawer at his. We practically lived together anyway, but it was a big step, moving in together. It was defining. 

“Come on, Nate…” he paused to lean in a press kisses along my neck; I stretched to the side for him. “I wanna live with my omega in a place that’s ours… not just mine or yours that we swap off staying at together.” 

I could see where he was coming from. We were dating- officially, exclusively- and it was a serious relationship. Alphas like Antoine, I knew, just wanted some claim, some place that they could say their omega nests in, is happy and satisfied in, has their _heats_ in. That was a conversation we still hadn’t had- heats and ruts. I’d had one almost immediately after I moved into my apartment in Calais, and Antoine had had a rut about the same time, which meant both of ours were supposed to come relatively soon. In reality, that was probably why he was bringing up moving in together- he wanted his inner alpha to be reassured there’d be a safe place for us to spend it together, if we did. 

We still hadn’t _done it_. 

I hadn’t done it since James, and even then, that wasn’t doing it, that was rape. I had never had consensual- or even _caring_ \- sex with someone. It was intimidating, especially since I’d never gone through a heat with someone and, subsequently, didn’t know how I acted during them. There was something more to my hesitation though, something I didn’t talk to him about because I didn’t want to hurt him.

I wasn’t in love with Antoine. He was such a good alpha to me, such a good person in general, and I just _should’ve_ been in love with him, but I wasn’t. I just wasn’t. And I was pretty certain that Antoine had picked up on that too, because he hadn’t told me he loved me yet. And he did. It was so, _so_ obvious he did. 

I knew what love was. I had felt it seven and a half months ago, and I had felt the subsequent agony of having my heart broken. Somewhere, deep down, my inner omega was protecting me by not letting me fall in love again. 

“Antoine…” 

Antoine didn’t know about James. He didn’t know about Harry.  He didn’t know about anything, and while I had never lied when he’d asked me about my life, I usually deflected or told a broad generalization of the truth. I _never_ lied, though. 

“Nate, I care about you so much. Please say yes.”

“Antoine-” He kissed me. I pulled away, laughing. “Antoine-”

He kissed me again. “ _Nate_ -”

We battled on with kisses until I was breathless from laughter and lip-locking. “Fine!” I surrendered, “fine, I’ll move in with you.”

“Yes!”

 

…

2 months later

 

“What have I told you! Professionalism, _please_ ,” Keira pleaded. Antoine and I separated, matching grins plastered on our faces; this wasn’t the first time our boss had walked in on us messing around in the decorating room. 

“Sorry, Keira,”

“Yeah, sorry.”

She sighed with no real disdain as she stood in the doorway, tray of cookies in hand. “Since you’re already here, even though you should be helping Clara man the front counter, _Antoine_ ,” she jokingly shot daggers his way, “you might as well stay and help Nate with these cookies.” 

“Aye, aye, Captain,” he saluted, and I laughed. Keira dropped the tray in front of us at the table and we started off, music idling in the air. Antoine sung under his breath as we worked. 

We’d been together for a while now. Five months. We were in deep with each other- you could see it plain as day. He bathed me attention and I lapped it up; he showed off typical alphas attributes like strength and dominance and I swooned in a way that would’ve made me throw up a year ago. We acted like a real couple who were just plainly _enamored_ with each other. 

We still hadn’t had sex. We hadn’t shared heats or ruts or even three little words that shouldn’t mean so much but do. Everyone knows they mean something big, something I didn’t feel yet. It was painful, mostly because I knew I didn’t hide it well. I knew Antoine could see I didn’t feel that way for him yet in the same way that he knew I could see that he _did_ feel that way for me. 

I wanted to love him. I wanted to love him so bad. I wanted to be able to tell myself that that fucking asshole who’d hurt me so long ago wasn’t the only person I could fall in love with, even if I doubted it. I had moved on from Harry, I had let him go. But it still felt like his hands held my heart, refusing to pass it on to Antoine, refusing to let me love him. 

It was infuriating.

“Nate?”

“What? Sorry, I wasn’t listening.”

Antoine smiled and ducked down in his stool to kiss my cheek. “No, that’s alright. I was just wondering if you were hungry.”

“Hungry? You know we’re not supposed to each the merchandise,” I laughed. It wasn’t serious; Antoine and I always mysteriously lost three cookies whenever we decorated together, and Keira had long ago given up on trying to stop it. 

Antoine didn’t say anything, just gave me another smile and slid a cookie he’d decorated my way. I slid it the rest of the way to myself and looked down, breath catching in my throat.  

On top of white icing, Antoine had done beautiful lettering in purple. 

 _I love you_. 

I looked up at him, but he was working on another cookie, stoically ignoring me even though I was sure he could see me out of the corner of his eye. 

Shit. What was I supposed to do?

I sat frozen for a few moments, contemplating. Could I run out of the bakery, claiming an emergency? No, Keira wasn’t stupid. Could I just break up with him? No, I liked him way too much. He made me way too happy to even consider doing that. 

Hesitantly, slowly, I reached for a cookie. If there was one thing I knew how to do, it was decorate. 

We worked silently side by side, thoughts running through both of our heads so fast and so furiously I was fairly certain they were manifesting in the air in front of us. The quiet around us, even with the soft music, was suffocating. 

I looked down eventually, finished. It looked great. Beautiful. Terrifying. And slowly, refusing to let myself overthink it, I slid it towards Antoine. And then I set my eyes back on my own work. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as he tentatively peered down at it. After a second, he shot a neck-snapping look back and forth between the cookie and myself. And then he attacked me from the side. 

“You do?” he asked, arms crushing me into his chest, “you really do?” 

I looked down at the table beside us, at the cookie I’d given him. At the words _I love you too_ swirled in purple icing. And I gulped, closing my eyes. 

“Yes,” I whispered, “I do,” because maybe if I said it enough, it would eventually become true. 

 

… 

3 months later

 

“Nate!” 

I spun around, grabbing the powder-sugar coated edge of the work table to steady myself. Fucking frosting. 

Antoine stood in front of me, bowl of batter in hand, face dusted with something sticky looking. I laughed, reaching up to wipe it off his cheek, “Again?” 

“Hear me out,” he said, holding the bowl up to his chest with one hand, raising the other in surrender. “You _need_ to try this one.”

My eyes uncontrollably rolled back in my head, a smile remaining on my face. “How is it that I just _need_ to try them all?” 

He grinned, reaching around me to put the bowl on the table behind my back. I held his gaze as he did it, freeing his hands up to put on my hips and pull me close. 

“Come on…” I murmured when he leaned forward, rubbing our noses together, “you’re getting all your mess on me.” But we both knew I didn’t care- I was covered in sugar anyway. I felt his cheek grow with a wider smile against mine, and I tilted my head to the side when he leaned down further to rub the entire left side of his face against my neck. 

“You love it,” he said. 

“No,” I denied, though I stretched my neck to the side further despite myself. 

“You love _me_ ,” he countered, and I let a laugh escape.

“You caught me.” 

A moment of silence settled between us, and eventually he pulled back, staring at me hard. “Do you know how much I love you, Nate?” he asked. 

“Enough,” I shrugged. It didn’t matter _how much_ ; what mattered to me was that he did. 

“I think,” he paused to dust his lips over mine, “I love you too much for my own good.” 

“You’re crazy.”

We went back to kissing, deep and with feeling, before a bell sounded past the door and out at the front counter. I sighed, sliding out from between Antoine and the table. Keira was gone today, which meant I was in charge of running the counter and dealing with customers. 

“Hurry back,” Antoine called behind me, and I shot him a grin over my shoulder as I walked out of the decorating room. 

“Don’t worry,” I said, “I will.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I'd just like to give myself a little more attention and mention that I got a 4 on my AP test for Human Geography! Let's go :)


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